Thursday, 27 January 2022

sudden 2

noon comes and goes

god i am tired
my neck and eyes hurt
all forty some years of me
but i endure

tomorrow when the
sky turns i will roar like a tiger
to the whistle of steam

fuck all the noise
i got it in my mind to help
somebody 

there's all kinds of ways i
choose one

#katyamills




Wednesday, 26 January 2022

all in

i put all in and got nothing out going home empty felt like i got crossed i swore i demanded more it made me sick i got better i thought my best was no good and i oh how wrong i was cause i had the power to put all in and life was simple but wouldn't stay that way i kept at it i put all in and i fought for it and that alone led to wealth beyond the wildest dreams   #katyamills




allostasis

dishonest with herself 

on truths she could not countenance

she gave the world the middle finger 

not because she hated life because

she loved it



#katyamills





Monday, 24 January 2022

we wait...


4 someone to text us back
4 our luck to change
4 the rain 2 cleanse our soul
4 inspiration when we have none
4 that old laughter between us
4 our frog legs 2 defrost
4 our hearts to pump blood
back into our sleepy limbs

that old silence
the water comes to boil
the trees start to sway
lean into the wind
flexing their roots
night and day
we wait

2 feel the coffee warm our insides
2 feel the cold predawn penetrate us
2 pee in a cup for a new job
2 get over it
2 feel

#katyamills

eldorado resort casino. reno


spectrum girls in their dresses 
after the ball. in and out the ladies room
to spot check reflections and make 
themselves perfect. 10 bucks for 
penny slots the eye of a chaperone
nearby

a man in a wheelchair
passed out with his jacked 
pulled over his head
hiding from the games alive and ready 
to be played 

the earthbound ones laid out
their demands. then dissembled
into innumerable grains 
of sand

#katyamills

Sunday, 23 January 2022

biggest little city in the world

 

touched by the gods

encircled by sierra peaks

Reno is some half century old Vegas

pawnshops and desperate cowboys

who lost they hats but found

they girls under the grand 

marquee


#katyamills

Friday, 21 January 2022

votive remix

deceased lay the flower beds toxic and soaking perspiration thick as glue. we passed the ethereal fields cranked the shaft flipped a bitch and sailed due north, the agonists and antagonists darting out from the shadows. we released the nitrous oxide mixed with half and half burned the white sage whole off the stern.
petitioned a ragtag battalion of orcas like white blood cells to seal in the heat, caustic energies aft and starboard, signals blaring into the night. the candles they flickered and danced.  #katyamills

Thursday, 20 January 2022

writing tip


emotional coloring
extractions from the past 
by intention
can transform the ache of remembrance
and bring your history
back to life


#katyamills

Wednesday, 19 January 2022

real time


thoughts accumulate @ the corner of up and down just above freezing
mufflers give away ignitions in the silence behind double pane motel glass
corner of down and up on the back of a harley feeling the torque insane or sane 
we are the strange circumstance of being in this world
real time


#katyamills

Tuesday, 18 January 2022

saturday special


here comes Carlo 
to bless us with the egg mcmuffin
all i got this day i hope to give 
coffee. sucre. crema
a crystal clear morning 
i wanna live 


#katyamills

Monday, 17 January 2022

break of dawn


run your colors

light your skies 
give away your lasting hope 
to dawn and open 
eyes



#katyamills

be the sea



rise and take the land
speak in tides and rhythms
sing them all to sleep
heal by touch


this is why


when it comes to revolution
capturing minds and hearts
those who disbelieve
it is best to be
the sea


#katyamills

Saturday, 15 January 2022

from the heart out

she was in her twenties
existence a slow drip of unhappenstance 
when she surfaced from the midsection of an iceberg
the frozen contents of some formerly fluid 
collective subconscious 
experience

ready to travel the world
she began finally to thaw
from the heart out



#katyamills

the one


walking the mall i
rode the escalators up
and down

thinking 
i might one day find
you knowing i might
never

until then
dug out some cash 
for the dreamy sweater 
wool 


#katyamills

Thursday, 13 January 2022

120s. remix


under the lights
the supermodel shows well

backstage draggin on
Slims 120s holds it in her lungs awhile
then lambasts the makeup girl
for missing her
mole

when she exhales it
all goes up in
smoke


#katyamills

Wednesday, 12 January 2022

the key

between them
the impasse had taken the shape of a mountain
yet they would not be 
apart

on the verge of incommunicable
they tapped morse code 
across the stars

will you stay in town
tonight? i will leave
the key 


#katyamills

Tuesday, 11 January 2022

17

when i meditate on those i knew who went down hard and whom, after all the shock had been absorbed, by anyone who meant anything to them, ascended to the heights of recollection, i am filled with great sadness, giving a damn, decidedly, when i got no damns to give.  #katyamills

Monday, 10 January 2022

99 cents @ the quikstop

i am singular

organic yet 100% reconstituted
of unknown ethnic
origin. uncompromised 
inside a racial
divide

i feel island
composing metaverse
they wanna buy me
for 99 cents @ the quikstop

a generation why
32-bit clerk in
16-thread scrubs
calls me off my platform
in the pink cloud
brigade

radiating my
tertiary-processed
64-bit self-serve themed
limousine queen
ego state

they blister and
sizzzzzle


#katyamills

flag.stone

downcast 
sitting pretty on the front porch 
calling you

year after year
my feet bare
upon it
the flagstone 
stops my thoughts



#katyamills






Saturday, 8 January 2022

remix she

she takes

these rules-of-road
these mandates federales
these ideas of fairness and fears
she licks them 
speechless

swallows
the music the man
the mainstream
swallows
the age-of-fad line
the cess 
poolz

she carries 
the asses
makes u 
her bitch she 
can liquefy 
the earth 

ignited she fumes
she sucks all the fumes
black with blood
she unassumes

and 
somehow

opening up 
through cold rain of
insect-stung steel
crossing
the many states 
america
kid eyes full 
moon

sending steam
beneath shower head flowers
behind ribbons of rainbow
summer hydrant
waters

somehow
like no one like
no one she 

loves 


#katyamills

california unincorporated

up the hills
to the llama farms
fields of upturned soil
the black sheep tagging behind
unincorporated
california

into a clearing
in the darkness of a day
sunlight woven like cotton
round the swab
they ran

this one
don't need no help in hurtin
do they? a gardener declared
hands on her hips

self-demolished
exhausted
dejected
they ran

finally
into arms

#katyamills

Friday, 7 January 2022

dream state



where divining rods
find us
symbols define us
hard of seeing hearing understanding
it signs us

a snake
with patterned somewhat deceptive
hieroglyphic designs 
jaw unhinged

bolts forward 
to strike



#katyamills

Wednesday, 5 January 2022

s.lavish



frazzled cutting wires
bending over and under 
endless machinery greasy pipes growling
cobwebbed and cornered they
never started finishing school

blackened by chimneys
smoking snipes
thats how god wanted it 
and it was good

#katyamills

teenage communist


only nineteen reading Marx
she was calmly pronounced a communist
by her ever patriotic 
American family

arguing was useless
she laughed so hard

how would she get the grades they demanded
if she blew off class 
assignments?   


#katyamills

Monday, 3 January 2022

the blues of 20.20 twos

to the top of our lungs
the same songs we sing at the top
of the subway stairs
carrying our wares
carrying our 
cares

we pick ourselves up
the world goes around
like there's no future
we let ourselves 
down

may we keep working
through the winters of self
may gratitude blossom 
so renewal can sprout 
from the roots
into shoots

smokin reds
singing blues
the choices
we chose

need not be

the choices
we choose


#katyamills

statica

 
the divine 
exists in the space between stations
where molecules cease 
to behave


#katyamills

Saturday, 1 January 2022

cold steel revisited - one one

cold steel got love 
by Katya Mills 


i remember this well. the cold steel in your eyes reflected off the glass of high rise buildings and bottlecaps rolled flat into the street. in opposition to the glossy sky, the kinda deep blue you rarely see anymore in a city. we got together around the time Drake cut his first album which went viral before viral was an expression. the best album. life got crazy for us back then, the whole of us, maybe a core of ten or twenty related intrinsically to a greater constellation, maybe fifty or sixty or more popping off the skin of the larger community. a bunch of anti-establishment mad motherfuckers with nowhere to go just live for today. you won me over quickly, at a time when i was in a lot of pain, my cousin had died, i couldn't make the funeral, my job was hell and life was like a bad breakup. your life was hell and we both knew nothing of a future until it appeared and it was us. something special had arrived. sometimes Hollywood comes out of nowhere, anywhere, thin air like. now Hollywood is Hollywood and behind the scenes it's all one giant character assassination. but it's a damn good show if that's what it takes to create it. you cannot help but fall in love with it. everything decompensates around it. between us we formed a concept. it was our little secret and there could be no dissent. when you feel this, you know this. magic. real end of the rainbow shit. storybook status. like we already made history, before we made it. cold steel got love like us. cold steel got love.



one one


like the one before 

we start our year with trepidation

a measure of chocolate 

and coffee some vigorous exercise

in the frosty air the drip 

of time into our veins renewed 

by the construct of one

one


#katyamills