Saturday, 2 July 2022

2045

strange living in the years before singularity

technology made things very comfortable

and AI had it out for us

she placed you in the least expected most compromised of positions

she tossed back another cosmopolitan she 

exposed you for a charlatan 

in the temple of the spirit


#katyamills


Friday, 1 July 2022

paws

under a frothy sky of foam

we were going round and round

these arguments long lost sense

breath of life what i would take 

and give. a moment  just to live


#katyamills

Tuesday, 28 June 2022

coffee slut

our breakfast joint kicked us out. covid rules. paper cups and bags to go

so we sat down in the lot unwrapped our sandwiches and ate

a honda with a coffee slut bumper sticker was running up on the curb 

you got up and helped her park. she thanked you by standing there 

spouting how ukrainians are all nazis and vaccines give us covid 

her toenails bright ugly orange over my pastrami bagel

the best thing about being on the street is you're not a captive

audience   #katyamills


Sunday, 26 June 2022

the form they took so pleasant to behold


i bought a glue gun

spread the pieces out on the coffee table to connect them

the traumas they ruptured my memories

then walking around town the questions were flying

where did you get such a lovely coat? how much did it cost?

trust me it's more than you are willing

to pay


#katyamills

Friday, 24 June 2022

proliferation of books

working i made barely enough money

to pay off the service repairs the utilities

groceries petrol clothes hair and nails

taxes insurance credit and mortgage

license registration renewals...


with what remained i

bought and gave away 

books


#katyamills

losers winners la la la

they was raised super competitive

like - kill kill kill!  

the rare times they won a contest they

 didn't really know how to feel

deep down they wondered

why cannot we all be cherished?


#katyamills

the ones who ought

they was obsessed and careless

and reckless. then it was over

they put a decided stop they

found a heart for living right

the long heavy shadows

blended. telling stories 

in quick short bursts. loving the ones 

who ought


#katyamills


 

the earth does all the heavy lifting while the sun just shines

the sun crossed the sky

everyone was amazed 


reminded her of her ex


didn't do a damn thing

and got all the credit


#katyamills

Hudson Bay. 1922


man against polar bear
man against walrus
against dog against dog
man against winter
man against time
against hunger

no need to be
against self


#katyamills

Wednesday, 22 June 2022

old model ford

we pushed past cobwebs

got her tires up. compressor plugged into the cig lighter

her battery would take some time to charge

so we all sat around together waiting on this old model ford 

the old man pronounced the virtues of a burro over a horse

when traversing mountainous country

how to get pure drinking water by digging a hole beside a river 

how the best place to hide 

when running from somebody

is the cemetery    


#katyamills

Monday, 20 June 2022

6.18

we got lucky sevens in the valley

sodas with paper straws we

took our summer with everything on it

the cars no longer sound like cars

the lakes are low the rivers 

high and we. for once we are

happy    #katyamills

Sunday, 19 June 2022

buttercup

contractors pull up in trucks

on a summer morning

one holds the door for me 

at the café


i remember a boy inside a shirt 

a field of Ranunculus

holds one to my chin and declares

you like butter 


#katyamills

sensation

it was 1991. Nirvana and Alice had just released records
i was reading and drinking and writing and smoking 
watching the winds pick up speed
some bastard stole my bike so i 
got around on foot

#katyamills

Tuesday, 14 June 2022

Anna Karenina



Anna KareninaAnna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I did not love it. I liked it. I was able to conquer my attention span and read 1,000 pages. That was more enlightening than the book itself. Tolstoy of course - a master. You see him in Levin. You find the most honorable writing in tribute to the Russian peasants. They are like the true heroic figures of this novel. All the society crap Anna was destroyed by. So sad. So predictable and timeless. All countries' societies are the same. How people treat people. Drive some to suicide. Vronsky was very typical in many ways. A typical man with ambition and a sex drive. I hate how he left his horse to die and didn't seem to care. In a way he treated Anna the same. But not on purpose. Unconsciously. The peasants with their scythes clearing the million acres of fields. Laughing. Not caring. Working. Living. Beautiful the way Tolstoy describes them. Levin aspires to live with them before he gets married. Maybe even after. Anna's son and the scene where she returns to see him one final time - this scene is truly magnificent. Tolstoy's gem. The best thing I got from this book was humbled (as a writer). Also delighted. By the tour of Moscow, St Petersburg, and the descriptions of hunting and farming in the Russian countryside.

View all my reviews

fact 1

fact. you don't have to 

smoke the tires off your cars

to be happy. but some do

and some are  #katyamills


flower

as you fall in love you may find

less time for your friends who 

may wanna kill you for it so

be sure to bring them flowers 

from time to time if you hope 

to stay alive   #katyamills

Russian Ukrainians

they painted one another's nails 

the colors of the flag 

and while doing so they 

talked about the war and drank english tea 

and wondered when the men

were coming home


#katyamills


Sunday, 12 June 2022

we are true

you took my hand you 

pulled me forward against the same old stories

surrounding us


they would always be made up

whereas we are

true


#katyamills

 

Friday, 10 June 2022

strawberry supermoon

the kids were playing video games all night 
like they were going out of style
the moon looked down from the sky. omniscient
a plastic breeze filled our lungs with particles
as we sipped our strawberry soda
out of paper straws. oh 
what a life


#katyamills

fighter

i went to see him
he was watching tv 
tired from work he did not want conversation
i silenced the commercials
it made him unhappy 
i wanted to share my day and learn about his
he got angry i 
threw the remote at him 
stomped to the backyard followed 
the clay painted fence

there was new growth coming up 
the round up could not kill it all 
nature is a fighter and 
so am i  #katyamills

6.11

the mortgage was due

the phone the electric and credit cards

the mercury rising we hit the store early

for milk and eggs and the happy baguette

i heard a song in the store and started singing 

along. a memory slipped away like a seal

off the pier deep into 

the bay

 

#katyamills

Tuesday, 7 June 2022

bird in mouth

 my cat waits on the balcony. all night he waits. in the mornings he waits. scanning the sky. swishing his tail. one day all of this intense focus and patience will end with a bird. in mouth. 

#katyamills

Sunday, 5 June 2022

front end


i like to keep it big and wide open. the heart. let it thump out in front. you risk getting hurt that way. true. but mine's got that feature, the same one they put on new cars, whereby the engine angles and slides down when struck in a head on collision. even when doing next to absolutely nothin', i aspire to keep it real. give thanks and praise.  #katyamills

Redding 1

we met you randomly on the banks 

where the river was churning in a  

hydroelectric power play 

you told us your troubles with the law.

the domestics. the time you did

how you're not a bad guy

if they weren't lying and cheating

then... then what? then you wouldn't have

beat them? we wanted to toss you 

in the river to help you wake up

but we weren't strong enough 

to lift you  #katyamills

Saturday, 4 June 2022

headwaters

we descend Mount Shasta to a city park at its base, where you find the headwaters of the Sacramento River. they say the snow water takes 50 years to flow through the mountain to this source. people carrying containers make their way around the mouth to the reach the cave the pure water pours from. a sacred place. from here the giant river opens up and irrigates the land. from Redding to Chico to Sacramento. across the Delta and down into San Francisco Bay. the days are hot and dry. this is the valley. we search for olives...trailed by birds. #katyamills

Friday, 3 June 2022

consistency of

we drove north for hours. spotting birds by their wing marks. coming up with names for bands. stopped at Granzella's for local olives stuffed with blue cheese and jalapenos. we played our first gig as Consistency of Jelly. we bit down on pit fragments to give our teeth that i fought the law look punk bands have. it was a righteous way to kick off Pride.  #katyamills

Shasta-Trinity

Redding, California

view from a second story window into a tangled semi-wild space surrounded by the Shasta-Trinity mountains. a choreographed movement. the shadows. from the trees. under the morning sun. superimposed on the earth. 


#katyamills




six six

a camaro pulled up next to my vw gti on the freeway like they wanted to race. i turned my head to look but the windows were tinted. i'm probably twice the kid's age, i thought. they pulled away and you could hear the engine. i appreciate the offer. i rarely drive dangerous anymore but i did when i was a kid. i played my music loud and got amped up. this car i got now, she hits a hundred quick, just by stepping on the gas. i'm older now and i prefer cruising. but i like how she responds. will get me out of any trouble i might be in. i don't drive much anymore. i don't wanna go hungry. yesterday, thirteen gallons cost me just shy of a hundred bucks. right here in california.

#katyamills

Tuesday, 31 May 2022

may

what you went through when you went through hell 

and lived to tell. by your living force by your spirit by your kindness 

they will know


#katyamills


Monday, 30 May 2022

six two

America today feels like the same old bedrock of world power we've maintained since the first world war.  a hundred years old. in her shadow she feels like fury and sound under an amphetamine sky. stout moral fortitude condensed into some lone wolf capital minded lobbyist fighting a tide of rising interest rates and people who care about something other than money. amortized forms trapped within a threadbare atmosphere. thinning arguments floated to buy time to solve the latest imperial conundrum. underclothes made of petrol product as we pitch our protests high against fossil fuels... wondering how can we unpack it... formulaic disobedience left unpunished to our dismay. we come home to blackened soot of unbecomings, where before was pastoral beauty. our unified material focused attention on one bloodbath after another through the news feed and sound byte of choice. amusement park of adrenal cells worked out again on the unoxygenated dashboard. we hold together somehow. like polar ice drifting toward the equator. maybe it's hope.    #katyamills

5.31

terribly windy all night
gave way to stillness this morning
self disinterest gave rise to self
compassion

confronted with an orange
i swallowed it whole

#katyamills

stranger

when on holiday sometimes

it's like i forgot who i am

after all the weeks and months of work

sometimes you need to talk 

or coax yourself out

then appear like a

stranger


#katyamills

5.30

the wind howling in the winter. the road winding around the lake. the red barn with white trim. the icy stream and snow. we gathered around your pot belly stove for warmth. it's memorial day. though i am too far from New Hampshire to lay flowers on your grave, i am thinking of you. the hot cocoa. your wicked laughter.  #katyamills

Sunday, 29 May 2022

the long days

what the fuck was i gonna do?

you were suffering from the long virus 


listen to you and hope with you

that insurance will wake up and pay 

for your meds 


#katyamills


Saturday, 28 May 2022

5.28

saturday.

i pushed for an oily cup of joe to loosen my structural bolts

swam out and caught a monster wave


#katyamills

Thursday, 26 May 2022

commie manifesto

they nod off in class

walking the pencil lead down the line 

grounded at the margins

this is a brand of resistance in an autocracy

falling asleep 


they cannot control what you dream


#katyamills

Wednesday, 25 May 2022

un.con 39

in the thirty-ninth year on earth the uncon appeared and became conscious. a new formidable player in my life. uninvited. she had to be held up at the gate, a credentials check was imperative. this puppy has some torque to her, i thought, my adrenaline rising at the sight of her. she might turn over the apple cart (the stomach the sole beneficiary). i made a quick decision and i killed her - with kindness. i could no longer survive being conned.  #katyamills

XYZ

you don't call. you text. don't ever call first or you may be banned or cancelled. if it's an emergency call 911. you can text emojis to convey your feelings. some emojis may have different meaning depending on your generation (x, y, z) marker. if you call you don't exist. and remember: no one will ever listen to your voicemail. strategy to survive: take nothing personal. 

 #katyamills

impressions from a dream

i had a dream. you were standing in line for concert tickets. for us. i was waiting in the car outside. i could see you through the glass. when you got back to me i realized you only bought one. for yourself. we had a big fight. i was outraged again. you could see i was hurt and nothing could be done about it. emotional i pulled away from the curb. deep in the heart of a city. i was full of adrenaline and losing it. i stepped on it and drove that old Chevy into a subway enclosure. bloody stepping out on the street. you were okay, more worried for me. someone called for an ambulance. then we could hear the sirens. you embraced me. i finally got it. you cared. i couldn't calm down.  #katyamills

Monday, 23 May 2022

summer love

 hearts throbbing

ice cream cones sobbing 

they traded kisses
all summer

#katyamills

Sunday, 22 May 2022

go on. be infinite

delivering packages on a bike

i am pumping legs

exhaust through my nostrils

the city a living breathing monster

the cars are out to kill us


flat on my back 

staring up between skyscrapers

blood trickling down the side of my mouth

i am no longer finite i am

a strange peace


#katyamills

5.22

the news of the world became more and more a venom

administered into the vein by the cell phone 


#katyamills

Saturday, 21 May 2022

BOOK REVIEWS




BOOK REVIEWS
Posted on May 21, 2022 by KatYa


HERE ARE THE INITIAL REVIEWS ON GOODREADS.COM FOR MY POETRY BOOK: ‘UP FROM THE DOWNTRODDEN’ – Katya Mills
Average rating3.53 ·

Rating details

· 30 ratings · 13 reviews

#There’s nothing like the feeling of connection with poetry… “you tore into us drunk again one of your moods unpredictable charged”

#overall, this poetry style wasn’t for me. however, the author has a great flow, and even when a poem didn’t do it for me, i could still feel the rhythm of the words. i did really enjoy some of the poems!

#It takes me what can seem like a long while to read a book of poetry that itself is not that many pages with poems that aren’t themselves pages long. I do this because, to me, poetry is a short form of expression that, even in its longer iterations, conveys deep emotions and intimate thoughts in terms sometimes abstract, but always involving a tone/mood. Katya Mills’ collection is ripe with such short poems that convey certain moods.

#i LOVED reading this book. i win it in a giveaway, and stayed up at four in the morning reading through it. im normally not a poetry person, but something about this book really made me connect with it. ill definitely be reading through again, making it like my daily one page at a time book.

#I’m not a big poetry reader but I’m very happy I got to read this gem. It was so refreshing and I really enjoyed reading it.

Friday, 20 May 2022

approaching LA

a tractor rolls 

slow across a dusty canyon

a cowboy perched atop a full blooded bull

waves his hat 

the mountains splash shade

southwest of Bakersfield

the sun will rise there 

from the east

forever


#katyamills

Wednesday, 18 May 2022

27

the age the artist died
by 28 was sitting with all the others who 
were wiped out around Saturn 
having breakfast after the last
supper

#katyamills

fade into culture

campbell's soup cans tagged on subway cars descend into giant holes in the earth. it gets dark. we pick up speed. ✨️ the sound of steel on steel is amplified by the concrete coated walls. an artist absorbs every sense of it. a product comes into being. to be sold. sold. sold. my hair turns white like warhol. 🙃 when we come into the light i have my mysteries inside my heart. you will have to kill me.

#katyamills

may 18

i have this aching in my bones. but it's ok. summer is about to strike. the sun the source of energy. i love this feeling. i know this feeling. i'm at the edge of a jagged cliff. preparing for a deep dive... into a book.


#katyamills

commerce

they came up with creative ways to describe what they were doing and what they wanted and how to get it...

belushi

rolling up the window

bang bang girl


#katyamills

Wednesday, 11 May 2022

id.11


identity 

intentionally made public was 

for visibility not vying for 

attention


#katyamills

Monday, 9 May 2022

10 baby geese

we went on a walk. the clouds were trying to hem in the sky. a man played tug of war with a pitbull. we talked about society and how people find one another through attributes they lack. ten baby geese waddling to the pond. connections can help you get ahead but what's ahead? is it money? visibility? business? fame? all of that and an insatiable sense of loneliness.   #katyamills

Sunday, 8 May 2022

approach of summer

distant fireworks and a full moon 

overnight i lost my mind and

fell in love 


#katyamills

tongue.

through the years they lost everything they ever loved or had. the relationship with language endured this troublesome time. to a point of speaking somewhat in tongues  


#katyamills

writing.

writing is the only outrageous thing i do anymore

#katyamills

blue.


blue periods long

after writing

blue periods before 

writing

blue periods when 

unable to locate

the words


#katyamills

sonny leon and the strike

we jumped up and down hollering 

they came from 15 horses behind and

charged ahead to win


the odds were the worst but we 

took them. by the tears in your eyes

i knew: you carried long odds and i 

carried them too 


#katyamills


mean.ing

one sweet morning 
after years of falling down 
cursing and swearing and berating 
themselves

the mean streaks became 
a frame to hold the inner
beauties

#katyamills

5.8.22


historically having had 

a rather severe allergic reaction upon contact they

reached out to their mother annually 

by the root end of a fiery

orchid


#katyamills

turtle 2

what you got from the outside 
while curled around your profound emotional wave tunnel was 
likely to be invalidating 

#katyamills

Sunday, 1 May 2022

the F up

i got in about 3 words for all 

yours i know you tryin to connect 

so no love lost. i will resist speaking over you 

4 only so long then. becomes. please

shut the fuck up


#katyamills

Saturday, 30 April 2022

4:30

a kinship formed during our time of hardship. grieving those we lost. each day precipitated new possibility. conscious expansion tumbled over the land from stream to river and out into ocean and full light spectrum. we anticipated our time together joyfully.

#katyamills



another understanding that defies all confusion

escalations in rent. fighting over gasoline and who was to pay...i became concerned. i gave you the numbers. though confused in our minds we need not be for we are all made up in the heart

#katyamills

photograph from a time long long ago

living off the land
you and your cousin 
captured for eternity
young men astride horses 
centered between generations
in the frame on the wall 
were you more happy
than sad? the question
had no answer even when
you were alive

#katyamills

Friday, 29 April 2022

endless

we went to bumble to find bffs. our talks were getting cold. the bffs took our energy and spent it. the sky fills were colorful and platonic which reduced the risk of harm. the water sexy and potable. rainbows appeared and decided to stick around. we wrung our hearts with joy, there being no end

#katyamills

Ukraine

seeing the vision in the Ukrainians

the volunteers the photojournalists 

hope is restored. a country fights

for the values by which it came to exist!

that's sacred. still. it's war and

hope is also decimated


 #katyamills

Thursday, 28 April 2022

4.27

there's a special home in hell

for the critic who tears an artist to shreds

there's a in-law unit on the same property

for those who promote book banning

 suppression and censorship


#katyamills

Sunday, 24 April 2022

Bollywood

packaged pretty with seduction
oversalted with scent and firm hold spray
they was a spy from Saturn. i could tell
by the porous shadow

i invited them 2 tea
through google translate i apologized
4 the condition of the planet and

appeased them with Hollywood
and Bollywood icons


#katyamills

profile of a rainmaker. 1950

what with his fancy suits and rolodex he

brought all kinds of business to the firm and great parties

and for that he was appreciated in NYC

yet nobody knew how he truly felt about anything

and the only evidence he had he belonged

was a pulse


#katyamills

the meadow

walking in a meadow in spring

better than any experience society could have thought up 

and charged for


#katyamills

cost of dying

due to the cost of living

we cannot afford funerals

so whatever you do

don't die


  #katyamills

april 25

the kid at dutch bros this morning handed me my annihilator with light ice. i asked: how are you? i had a dream last night, he said. i was back in high school, late for a physics exam on chapter 5, and my ride fell through. i offered him a quick interpretation of the dream. i hate you! he said, i don't want to know anything about myself!

#katyamills

modesto ash

deeply cut 
mangled by the bastards 
we thought they killed you
in the fall 

oh magnificent ash of modesto
muscular stumps reaching for the wires 
and sky

deeply hurt
my man was blazing mad he
lashed out at the foreman 
all winter they 
clashed

in the spring
you showed new life and
there was peace
again


#katyamills

Saturday, 23 April 2022

society high

society refused 

the likes of you and me

too bad for society. high but not whole

unrepresentative 

by the difference


#katyamills

Friday, 22 April 2022

panic

when the worry turns
2 catastrophes which cannot be
panic on the lonely road
the fear of fear this cannot be
heart pounding chills 
time slows down
you cannot breathe
it cannot be

cup your hands
for some small rhythm
in panning the motion slow
for gold. move against the grain
my love counter clock
wise until panic sets
you free

#katyamills



 

Thursday, 21 April 2022

body by sofia

sunshine today and body by sofia. old king charles spaniel pedigree. a hefty gal with heavy action on the shaggy tail wag and plenty of bark. only bites in service to ye olde belly at mealtime. she comes up to our harley without any fear of the pipes. likely dampened by the hardness of hearing. eye level where tire meets spoke. daddy calling out with care at the tip of the cane  #katyamills

Wednesday, 20 April 2022

april 20

the roosters the dogs the cats
toll the time
they fight for their lives
we get into our wheels we
run to our hearts 
content

#katyamills

Tuesday, 19 April 2022

Biltmore 1946

the sun sets on the Tahoe Biltmore 

another hotel casino shuttered in Crystal Bay, Nevada

please look out for Mary 

the cabaret dancer from the Aspen Room who 

lost her life on Mount Rose Highway

her restless spirit wanders

   

#katyamills

 


Saturday, 16 April 2022

hostile takeover

resting in a meadow 
on a day only god could cook up 
the poorest being on earth
became the wealthiest man 
alive 


#katyamills

gatekeeperz

we wait under a spotlight

identification cards belly up on the table 

electroshock cardiograms register nothing 

reading this gatekeeper's addled heart

and mind


our boots have steel toes

we know our damn rights


#katyamills


low key in love

drawn at the reach of the sun 
high off a glance from the full pink moon we were
low key in love
mid december south 
of mars

#katyamills


Friday, 15 April 2022

good friday

we decided on mint chip
made from almonds

we licked our feelings off the spoon 
the silver reflected
a pink full 
moon

we low key felt good
friday

#katyamills

ok.friday

some own

some rent or cannot

rent they have no 

home. they do not own they 

are not owned 

the libraries the squares

the public places

the community 

the world is

home 


#katyamills

Monday, 11 April 2022

april

a dynamic and fogcutting roast 

followed organic wheat toast

into the belly of one nation

under god. indivisible. with liberty 

and justice 4 some if not

all      #katyamills

cover story

legislators toured the brackish waters

quickly worked up a bill of rights 

the photo journalists brought microscopes 

to capture viable candidates

it was the fight against bacteria

paramecium for covers of time life space 

magazines and the nobel

prize    #katyamills

Ukraine - spotlight

a month ago they were creating videos 

by drone for family and friends and social medias

today they are key players

enlisted to locate and surveil the enemy

recording evidence of war crimes


#katyamills

Sunday, 10 April 2022

gold box tickets

 they say it kills the feet of crows

i applied it round my eyes and nose 

so to go with my beau to the show

presenting the gold box tickets we

won in a contest we never entered 

held by a pizza chain we had

not heard of   #katyamills

Saturday, 9 April 2022

patron saint of fast fashion

after the dance these fabrics dissolve

and like your threadbare arguments they 

thin into the wind


someones gonna be locked out 

of the heart again degraded 

like oil


#katyamills

Thursday, 7 April 2022

rainbo.ba

i let my emotions free 

they ate up all the cake they

drank the boba tea


we were not invited

back and they talked about us 

forever


#katyamills


Saturday, 2 April 2022

dnf

rumination was a book labelled dnf

i dropped a gear and gripped the throttle

got the hell out of that small town

cubic centimeters pulled all the thoughts away they

got tore up like roadkill

my mind made space 4 all diverse 

everythings 


#katyamills


triggered

rarely to never at a loss for words

i find it kinda funny. must be a distant cousin 

of trauma. i laugh out loud 

in the company of strangers


#katyamills

Thursday, 31 March 2022

march 2 april

 4:40 am 

tangleweed of precertain thought and feeling

decisive i 

turn whole oranges

to juice


#katyamills

Wednesday, 30 March 2022

the dial tones

piano chords 

hooked into circuit boards

tapping feet

fears of becoming 

obsolete

grounded by the dial 

tones


#katyamills

Tuesday, 29 March 2022

curiosity.2

days we looked up

amazed at the sky still in its deep blues

what all that went down in the dirt

here on earth


#katyamills

Monday, 28 March 2022

curiosity.1

violence at the oscars. openly transphobic bestselling authors. i gave myself half the time it took to drink my cup of coffee thinking on it. then back to work.

Sunday, 27 March 2022

hard 2 be gentle


sucking fossil fuels 

engines roaring 


it's hard to be 

gentle with our self 

hatred  


#katyamills

o.mission

they lost the sea a long time ago. they had to believe in the country as ascendant, powerful again. all they made off that land in the east, farming it, working it, was indispensable to the world. so roll the dice, old school style with tanks and battalions. the one in power decided it for them, the time was now, give your grown men for the military, the only chance was by land. a great many families got crushed up and swallowed. for what? by omission the whole thing was a lie.  #katyamills

Friday, 25 March 2022

signs

tiger strides over to kiss his brother 

when i begged them not to fight

mom is ghosting and i feel it 

letting its leaves hang this plant asks for water

a dove nesting above the door

another sign from god 


#katyamills

march 29

we were young 

the wilderness was calling 

ice broke up on the river 

startling the eyes the stars 

the skies       


#katyamills


fight

when you love someone you fight together. not even death can divide you

#katyamills


kharkiv

a school teacher two months ago

drawing figures on a board

now a colonel in the Ukrainian army

fights side by side with his son 

25 miles from the border

telling any Russian soldier within earshot 

you better run


#katyamills






Sunday, 20 March 2022

ice.breaker

when the ice finally broke

wasn't the hammer cracked it up

it was the warmth 


#katyamills

look away

years after the rescue my tiger finally lets me gaze into his eyes

 

#katyamills


dys.con


the internet was fibre

the optics stunning

our voices crystal in bluetooth synchronicity

the algorithms matched for reconnaissance

like hereditary genes and 

why why why 

do we not connect


#katyamills

land


the questions

they do not land

let us prepare the tea

and with the sunset 

be 


#katyamills


Wednesday, 16 March 2022

we locked eyes in a dream

we locked eyes in a dream we 

locked eyes and upon awakening it seemed

this dream was no longer a dream


why would you hunt me?

my love it can kill you 

on contact


#katyamills


yosemite image by katya mills c 2022    

Tuesday, 15 March 2022

3.15

the fashionable way to work was collectively

and remotely. with minimal identity markers

you take to those who can help solve a problem

if this can be achieved without speaking

even better      #katyamills

Monday, 14 March 2022

small pleasures


glass bottle coca-cola
free wifi in laundromats and libraries
youtube tutorials 4 DIY operations
cheap cigs from chinatown
free exchange of labor (aka home depot parking lots)
crossing the state line to gamble on sports
puff powder clouds on blue sky days
cold brew coffee

#katyamills

50


50 states 150+ years 

free from ground war combat

in the gooey center of 

global decay


#katyamills

Saturday, 12 March 2022

solidarity

a full tank nearly broke the bank

the price of gas rising almost feels decent like

solidarity with Ukraine 


#katyamills


yosemite 3

Chinese Camp

the down side of an ascending grade

10am. we stretched legs made acquaintance of goats and roosters 

and storekeep. fed quarters to the candy machine

 the candy was pellet feed


note to self: people like animals but not as kind

the cocks were a-doodling we were a-dawdling 

raggedy coats made of feather beneath table mountain 

the sun lost its way in the clouds


#katyamills

yosemite 2

the rain turned to heavy snow and back to rain

we got so small our problems smaller than we

hid cryin wrapped around a knee tryin 

to hold on you gave me a hug and a kiss

the old world turned to vapor before our very eyes

the pen gave a tug on the paper i

wrote a poem with hardly any words


#katyamills



yosemite 1

the microclimates were moody 

five thousand feet high in places

long faces 


we joined the chorus we 

sang the song of 

shadows


#katyamills



YAQUI


i am in sacred company

the Apache and you

feather of ink down the forearm. Yaqui tribe

the sky commanded the ground

be still


#katyamills

everything is alive

everything is granular everything

pulsing everything is

alive


who says you cannot communicate

with the dead?


  #katyamills



yosemite inn

the parking lot a river and we crossed it

you took our order while gazing lovingly @ your cell phone

we were dripping wet and starving

garlic pepperoni cheese and tomato

you forgot the green peppers 


#katyamills

3.11.22

the collie lunged at me 

she barely kept it back by the leash

my heartbeat quickened

i ran 5 miles for a personal

best. thank you fear


#katyamills

Tuesday, 8 March 2022

schizoaffective


some kids hear and feel and see stuff
we cannot. when they finally confide in someone
they are often disbelieved they
must be crazy. distracted from their schoolwork 
they become anxious and depressed
even suicidal. things will only get better when 
they find someone they can talk to who believes 
and maybe introduces them to a psychiatrist 
too if there is no other way

#katyamills

Thursday, 3 March 2022

welcome


a dispatcher at the quarry she helped manage traffic
trucks driven by burly men carrying loads of rock and sand
these long and early mornings in the valley

all he wanted from her was a welcome when he said thank you over the CB
he played a game in his mind

not understanding the consequences a woman could face
pronouncing a few friendly words
to each and every one

#katyamills


freedom square


it's easy to wanna give Russia all we got

one would have to be spiritless to not wanna join 

the citizens of Ukraine in this fight against 

country one hundred times in size

yet the Russian people... they are good people

they should not be subjected to war

either   


#katyamills




Up from the Downtrodden


Book synopsis: Divided into quintets, Up from the Downtrodden offers the possibility of hope to anyone feeling hopeless in the world today. The poems within, culled from a period of inspiration and resurgence after more than a decade of hopeless struggling and despair, honor both the darkness and the light. There is a chance, when the two are integrated, to turn what is bitter in life, sweet.

‘heavy metals’

dissociative
staring at the wall again
they turned up the volume

zero calorie heavy
metals to defend against they
demons



Get your copy here: https://www.amazon.com/Up-Downtrodden-Katya-Mills/dp/B09T66LP1G

Monday, 28 February 2022

6 days

six days ago they had a good job in the city

friends and family all around them

now they test homemade molotov cocktails 

against a wall in the back yard to fight

the occupation   #katyamills

Sunday, 27 February 2022

faith alone


when mala fide
in cloaks of red
extinguish the light
the allies on bona fide they
vanish from sight

hands clasped in prayer
soldiers young and old 
prepare  

the off beat
of broken hearts
when the shelling
starts

send ammunition!
for our freedom
we will fight

sola fide is not enough
to make it through
the night

#katyamills

after war

they are rediscovering the land

looks different than before they

went through war but there is war

no more. the scars cannot be seen

only felt. my friends got married

before they planned. called up by 

their country. honeymooned

on the black sea 

 

 #katyamills

Friday, 25 February 2022

march 4

listening deep into the night to the radio 
reports from Poland Romania Moldova


the only invasion i know
by ants after a heavy rain
the only shells i know
pasta. the only oppressor
bad memories and nightmares
and an occasional ignorant 
other


#katyamills

Thursday, 24 February 2022

charms

i got some lucky floating colored dehydrated charms. the old raisin bran didn't cut it anymore. i rode my bike ten miles after walking one. it's like pressing depression on the carotid artery until it passes out. f-you, depression!  #katyamills

Wednesday, 23 February 2022

what we have

what cannot be mass produced what 
cannot be replicated

this is what 
you and i
have



#katyamills

book of poetry (new release)


hello friends! this is Katya. i am happy to announce i released my first book of poetry yesterday. Up From the Downtrodden. thanks for all your feedback here as many of the poems i chose to include came by looking at my wp statistics and finding the poems that you all loved the most over the past several years. i have been primarily an author of fiction and creative nonfiction, and all of my 6 published works on goodreads.com (and amazon.com) are either novels and novellas. i am fully independent and do all my own editing and self-publishing. i use beta readers to ensure the content is highest quality.


i took every poem through additional edits over the past year as i built this collection up, so poems you find in the collection will be more fully realized versions of themselves. the only way i've been capable of publishing a poem a day for the last 9 years (the promise i made to myself for a daily spiritual practice and meditation) has been to work quickly yet carefully, revisiting each poem 1-4 times, before the commitment. this process has left some room for potential and actualization. i believe you will not be disappointed if you choose to purchase (or, if you have amazon prime, you can read the ebook for free) the paperback. thank you for supporting independent authors like myself!

 - Katya Mills

Monday, 21 February 2022

Navalny 2022

the trial to extend his time in the labor camp was the great joke that was not funny. Russia concealed it masterfully behind the useless war with Ukraine. forty miles of tanks! all the newspapers across the globe would have had him in the headlines otherwise, to display this Kafkaesque affair. one thing calms Navalny's frayed nerves is to study the curve of the muscle in his arm as he extends it to help a weakened comrade. working day and night for so long now he knows he is as strong as any man his age and could easily knock VP to the ground and maybe some sense into him, too. 

#katyamills

on the front lines


they dig the trenches and play cards they 
wash in the river and hang their cottons
on a line to dry swap stories to stay warm
cooking over a stove they lock load and shoot their rifles
at the likeness of Putin. shouting
when they hit between the eyes
long live Ukraine!

#katyamills

Saturday, 19 February 2022

double torture

opposing the old upset that comes with life not going according to plan, deep into a saturday we forged. we joined up with natural order and made winging it fun. we shared a double torture from Dutch Bros and got our guidance from highway signs. 9 years to the day of our last major meltdown. a voyage to Alameda to see our friends. there are treasures awaiting if you can hold out to the end.

#katyamills


Friday, 18 February 2022

bullfrog

climbing the walls of our will, numb and detached from purpose, deep in despair, entertained to near death, technologically baffled, compulsively obsessed, imagination fraught from lack of use, cut by seven blade razors, telemarketed, stuck on stupid, shot at by solar flares, inundated by cell rays, frozen in synthetic fear frostings, sucking on substitute sugars, dipped in electromagnetic confection, infected by ad campaigns, propped up by pharmaceuticals, shuffling whole food aisles, storage wars won at auction, amassing detritus in space to the gills ... modern life can get pretty blasphemous. i gotta claw my way out of it. chaos toppled by order toppled by chaos. i gotta go deeper. below the muddy quicksand of modern life lies firm and solid virgin ground. bedrock. you cannot see it but it is there. resplendent as the throats of bullfrogs in spring.   #katyamills

Thursday, 17 February 2022

what are we in love

undefeated by the horrible racket coming from the flat next door, i double down on intent. white as a sheet you turned, the lip service gave you form not substance. black was the ink not knowing what to write, gone for a day without nourishment. how can i tell you, it is only in your head? the tattoos we got helped us endure. comprised of particulate matter. just like me you're unreal sometimes. it's complicated. today i won't stand behind you. no. the splinters of our lives they glint in the sun. what are we, in love? 

 #katyamills

Wednesday, 16 February 2022

serenade @ safeway

singing while stocking the grocery aisles, a young man makes work a little joyful. unintentionally serenaded i get a little anxious picking up my root beer. the case slips from my hands. the cans they pop off and shower us with foam. under the lights he lifts up my chin. don't cry. runs his large hands through my carbonated braids. this was meant to be.    #katyamills


Tuesday, 15 February 2022

2.22.22

i was on the couch with milk green tea. a book resting its wings on my chest. my nerves were playing hard after one of those days you wanna forget. what was left of the light, deflected off the silver ring you gave me, and found a home in the flowers. they say when a planet gets too close to the sun, its atmosphere begins to burn off and leaves a smoky trail in outer space. after countless years it is stripped down to a scorched rock. culture. dedicated to breakdown and cracked in the teeth. well well, i thought, earth still got its atmosphere and i got one, too. i don't give a damn what they say when they don't know what they're talking about! the thought of this calmed me and i drifted into peaceful sleep.  #katyamills

the true leader of Russia


it was hardest to have to go on 

without a comrade on any

kind of battlefield


everything was too much 

these days. even ceremony


they went to pay tribute to Navalny

the true secret leader of Russia 

because that's what you do


starting strong the voices began

to crack. tears and decency

prevailed


#katyamills

Sunday, 13 February 2022

away

 

as a kid
i prayed
as a way 2 feel better
about myself

now i pray
how 2 give 
all that i got

and give it all
away

#katyamills

star free remix


i am star free i am
overcast sky

all the bad habits i
traded them in 4 something more predictable
something more certain

uncommon

i blackened Hollywoods
digital rolling
eye

you are blue you are chaos
you remind me of my old self   
gripping hearts between  
thighs

no longer unmoored 
i am star free cloud-based
outlandish

i am grateful
i shot myself out of
the sky


#katyamills

broke not broken

 

i gave up
cigarrettes
they cut short
so many lives

i gave up
fighting
myself and
the world

behind
some romantic
notion

i gave up bread
to the ducks 
in the pond

i fed
the ugly
truths

i gave up
retail therapy
no
that’s a lie

i just ran out
of money

#katyamills

Thursday, 10 February 2022

midnight remix



dancehall
shakes with thunder
hips

hands 
and
clocks 

reach
for the
sky

innocent
   touching
      of lips



#katyamills

sudden breath (remix)


in my mid-twenties
typewritten pages all around
bottle of whiskey in the freezer
telephone. stereo. Chicago winters creeping through gaps in the window frames

in my head
took a sudden breath i
had forgotten if you don't
it's death 

spotlight of the swinging arm lamp in its antics 
hair on my head frazzled
feeling frantic

would the world ever cosign my imagined
romantic?


#katyamills

Tuesday, 8 February 2022

watermark '97

it's 1997
gravity's a bully pushing me down 
won't let up

lost in words i
drop a forearm on all the keys 
metal arms rise up from a stadium of seated iron letters
and stick together 

like you and i 
just shy of the watermark

i pull myself up by the spine and 
hammer out something born of pain 
and misgivings

throw a dart at the white pages
seal the letter
mail it off


#katyamills

one way to live

expect nothing

work real hard

listen well

keep your word 

speak honestly

admit mistakes

honor silence

question the many thoughts

endure the pain

feel your feelings

care 4 those who cannot 

care 4 themselves

show kindness

show courage

be you


#katyamills

Sunday, 6 February 2022

drafting the steam (remix)


out from within
i am burning
a reverse
shot of gin

i patch nightmares
through clothes
mending sorry
lost souls

i am incendiary
a solar flare 
cannot handle 
with care

from samsara
i dream to awaken 
from thanatos 
to you holding me 
close

i am the steam 
drafting
though life 
i do love

#katyamills

Saturday, 5 February 2022

february

on a winter morning i

fixed my bed head with scrolls rolled into 

curls from all the earth's wisdoms


any sign of trouble i

reach up 4 them 


if you've lived long as i have

you know life is chess. think

before you move


#katyamills

cloud for sale. sags in the middle

what with all going on in the world i began to think it a rather scary place and even alexa or siri or the music i streamed could hardly make me feel less insecure about our fated obvious future. i asked google to tell me jokes and laughed for a diversion. then i bought this cloud online for a supposed great night sleep well it jumped out of the box and laid down. later that night it tossed me into my boyfriends arms which could have been seen as bringing us closer together. our insomnia kicked up and my boyfriend got up and left me lying in the center composing an ad. it read: cloud for sale. sags in the middle. 

#katyamills

Thursday, 3 February 2022

Daniela

dispossessed
provocative
her disenfranchised hair chopped
draft copy

the lens
through which she
saw was
rose

wraps of scarves
continuity of thought

in those unlucky lost days
we enjoyed a vodka and maybe a smoke
or ten or never enough

traveled by jeep
through tunnels

the light 
what was left of it

collected
sustained
the fabric
my friend
myself
and
threaded
the dawn

#katyamills

Wednesday, 2 February 2022

Book Review: The Idiot by Dostoevsky



by 
23957933
's review
 ·  edit

liked it
Read 2 times. Last read October 27, 2020 to February 2, 2022.

I love the way this book wraps up, it was well worth it, after having struggled somewhat through hundreds of pages of half-drunken petty vainglorious power struggles within the web of social strata in 19th century Russia. [No spoilers here]. Traveling home to 'the fatherland' from the Swiss sanitarium by train, our prince makes the random acquaintance of Rogozhin, the second point in the tragic love triangle, to start the narrative. They have a lively conversation and there is little concern that such a well-meaning and honest/transparent man as our beloved so-called 'idiot' could get tangled up in such complicated and dangerous affairs. But the saying goes 'if you hang around a barber shop long enough, you're bound to get a haircut.' And he is noticed by those who wish to take advantage, as a clear and easy mark. Everyone's hoping to get ahead. Everyone but him. The prince only uses his royal stock to survive, as he is close to destitute at the start, and becomes quite naturally embedded in society circles in and around St Petersburg. He welcomes it, seeking out the company of not so distant relatives, the Epanchins, upon coming home. A wise thing to do back then, if you hoped to survive. He is in fact much wiser than they give him credit for. Most write him off for an idiot the moment he offers up a single honest remark in their company, making the judgment that he is oblivious to social cues and cannot know his place. The younger ones, however, like Kolya and Aglaya, can cut through the bullshit and know him for treasure and gravitate toward him. Even the madwoman Nastasya takes him for a gem amongst the innumerable sharp pebbles that make up her circles. He has the gift of a loving and compassionate nature, and the curse of falling spells at the worst possible time aka 'dinner parties' (known all too intimately by our beloved author who had epilepsy). Witnessing him navigate the world is a bit of a heartache for this reader. I confess I may not have completed the text were it not for my familiarity with the other great texts of our beloved author. One of my favorite characters was Nastasya, another Lebedev, and a third would be Ippolit, the 18 year old boy dying of consumption who knows his time is up. If you read Dostoyevsky's biography, you will find a lifetime full of tragedy: the loss of 2 of his children (one just after birth, the other from an epileptic seizure), his first wife, and both his parents when he was just a teenager. He himself was sentenced to 4-5 years in the work camps in Siberia for the terrible crime of joining a literary circle and reading banned letters! Could anything be more Russian? He himself was condemned to death by firing squad and was already out on the square trying to make sense of his own life and untimely death before the Tsar called it off last minute. True story! Ippolit and the prince to me represent the tragic figures who sound out the author's own strange and terrible experiences in life, and then let us listen to the voices as they echo through the canyons, trying and perhaps honestly failing to make sense of them. Having read the final page of this 600+ enormity, I am left with a sense of relief and gratitude for life, which comes without clear instructions for how exactly to live it, yet here we are provided a stern and dire warning: don't ever think you can escape the influence of society.

Tuesday, 1 February 2022

the idiot

in the year of the tiger

i promise myself to hunt down good books

in the protagonist i see

myself. awkward at the party 

inflated with passion of they convictions

breaking the matriarch's cherished vase

i laugh and go to bed


#katyamills

Monday, 31 January 2022

harvest


the crop harvested and placed in burlap

the children beat their wings against it

the blood pushes and floods the capillary fields

we need never go hungry grandpapa says nor

starve ourselves of all earthly delights  


#katyamills

Sunday, 30 January 2022

the love that could not last


wrapped around a light beam
she was. with him
unraveled the cinnamon bun
she had him and he had her 
breakfast lunch and dinner
walked around holding hands
half the day

yet whatever was going on 
in the romance department
no defenses run so deep to 
hold the world off
 
the life of them passed like the sun
basic filaments burning 
less than a year since they met 
caught that fiery orange contagion
cross the sky 


dreaded (came the darkness)...
there, now (she knew it)...
embedded (all the memory)...
it's over (she said it)

#katyamills

action on the street. two thousand some.

the women with newport smooth hundreds walk the sidewalks, smoke sweeps into their lungs. heads dizzy with the chemicals they swing their upper bodies down over the bus stop benches, regretfully, and around go the hips, puff their lips out at the strangers, push middle fingers out at dangers. the drunks duck into meeting halls, intoxicated by sweet anonymity, the junkies escape the blistering heat of the valley, prayers and those who care, or want to care, inside open doors. tears of misery. tears of joy. the women born in the forties and fifties come out with abandon, pushing upper ages into push up bras with powder, in triple digit heat. the older they are the stronger. the men have become very kind and sugar sweet with old age. out with their canes, in wheelchairs, on walkers. ripened and unashamed to be weak after lifetimes of having to be strong. the heat has the strip malls and parking lots cooked, melting tar into rivulets dripping down where the rainwater is supposed to take the oils, the wheels they are spinning and change direction to avoid an ugly truth in the road, the film drips off of grills embedded in the pavement, the fishtails of boys in cars dragging the streets take water in through the gills. the ones been around the block stand there talking, don't need to go around it again, the quiet ones come out to listen to the talkers who are talking to anyone and no one, the young ones quiet and listening but not for long, the young girls holding the hands of the young men and young women, smile and kick up the dust, the young boys are satellites who blush. the workers are working, the players playing cards, the surveyors, construction, on the job, hammering and drilling and surveying, connecting wires, hard hats on hard heads, staring at a soft ass passing by on the street, hard, hammering and measuring and shouting over the trucks, wishing they was talking to some honey, sugar sweet. the smokers are kicking snipes into the street, newports and kools and camels, dehydrated, rolling embers off the end of a half-smoked marlboro, rollies, talking shit, looking, the girls gossiping and looking and laughing a little, the men boasting and smiling, the punks smoking reds like joints. real estate agents taking smoke breaks on the hour. waitresses cursing into their breaks, called back in by a supervisor or line cook to get their asses inside and grab that fucking marinated mountain trout with rice and green beans. they sashay into the air conditioned dining rooms to their tables. waiters incensed by ten percents, dropping cans and butts on cold cement. then out on the streets, free, after they all punch out.  #katyamills

24 hour variables

an ice cube 

to cool a summer sky

the selfless moon faded

to nil. of course none of this really happened like we thought

they asserted with frozen logic 

from outer space


#katyamills

Thursday, 27 January 2022

sudden 2

noon comes and goes

god i am tired
my neck and eyes hurt
all forty some years of me
but i endure

tomorrow when the
sky turns i will roar like a tiger
to the whistle of steam

fuck all the noise
i got it in my mind to help
somebody 

there's all kinds of ways i
choose one

#katyamills




Wednesday, 26 January 2022

beyond the wildest dreams

following your convictions and craft to they desperate ends will appear to others like superstitions and even a great waste of talent and time. you will be labeled if not belittled in this world where one is supposed to abandon one's dreams and visions and face reality. though devoted and even spiritually fulfilled, you will feel like you got crossed. you will be lonely and almost bitter by common society's rejection of you. you will be aching sore and if you are anything like me, stubborn. swore and demanded more and doubled down. they will tell you your stuff is no good, for if it were everyone would be reading you. this is a lie. you will be tempted to lie to yourself, too. do not. go all in and why? because devotion is uncommon and rare. keep at it, with self abandon, and, i promise you, the kind of wealth beyond the wildest dreams   #katyamills




january 31

dishonest with herself 

on truths she could not countenance

she gave the world the middle finger 

not because she hated life because

she loved it



#katyamills





Monday, 24 January 2022

we wait...


4 our luck to change 
4 them to text us back 
4 the rain that will cleanse our soul 
4 inspiration when we have none 
4 that ancient laughter we once shared 
4 that immaculate silence 
2 feel something truly penetrate us 
4 something we cannot get over 
2 get over it

#katyamills

eldorado resort casino



spectrum girls in their dresses
after the ball. happiness is 10 bucks
on a saturday night for penny slots
a man in a wheelchair
jacket pulled over head hiding from the games 
alive and ready to be played 
the earthbound ones lay out
their demands then dissemble
into innumerable grains of sand

#katyamills

Sunday, 23 January 2022

biggest little city

 

touched by the gods

encircled by sierra peaks

Reno is some half century old Vegas

pawnshops and desperate cowboys

who lost they hats but found

they girls under the grand 

marquee


#katyamills

Friday, 21 January 2022

votive remix

deceased lay the flower beds toxic and soaking perspiration thick as glue. we passed the ethereal fields cranked the shaft flipped a bitch and sailed due north, the agonists and antagonists darting out from the shadows. we released the nitrous oxide mixed with half and half burned the white sage whole off the stern.
petitioned a ragtag battalion of orcas like white blood cells to seal in the heat, caustic energies aft and starboard, signals blaring into the night. the candles they flickered and danced.  #katyamills

Thursday, 20 January 2022

writing tip


emotional coloring
extractions from the past 
by intention
can transform the ache of remembrance
and bring your history
back to life


#katyamills

Wednesday, 19 January 2022

real time


thoughts accumulate @ the corner of up and down just above freezing
mufflers give away ignitions in the silence behind double pane motel glass
corner of down and up on the back of a harley feeling the torque insane or sane 
we are the strange circumstance of being in this world
real time


#katyamills

Tuesday, 18 January 2022

saturday special


here comes Carlo 
to bless us with the egg mcmuffin
all i got this day i hope to give 
coffee. sucre. crema
a crystal clear morning 
i wanna live 


#katyamills

Monday, 17 January 2022

break of dawn


run your colors

light your skies 
give away your lasting hope 
to dawn and open 
eyes



#katyamills

be the sea



rise and take the land
speak in tides and rhythms
sing them all to sleep
heal by touch


this is why


when it comes to revolution
capturing minds and hearts
those who disbelieve
it is best to be
the sea


#katyamills

Saturday, 15 January 2022

from the heart out

she was in her twenties
existence a slow drip of unhappenstance 
when she surfaced from the midsection of an iceberg
the frozen contents of some formerly fluid 
collective subconscious 
experience

ready to travel the world
she began finally to thaw
from the heart out



#katyamills

the one


walking the mall i
rode the escalators up
and down

thinking 
i might one day find
you knowing i might
never

until then
dug out some cash 
for the dreamy sweater 
wool 


#katyamills

Thursday, 13 January 2022

120s. remix


under the lights
the supermodel shows well

backstage draggin on
Slims 120s holds it in her lungs awhile
then lambasts the makeup girl
for missing her
mole

when she exhales it
all goes up in
smoke


#katyamills

Wednesday, 12 January 2022

the key

between them
the impasse had taken the shape of a mountain
yet they would not be 
apart

on the verge of incommunicable
they tapped morse code 
across the stars

will you stay in town
tonight? i will leave
the key 


#katyamills

Tuesday, 11 January 2022

17

when i meditate on those i knew who went down hard and whom, after all the shock had been absorbed, by anyone who meant anything to them, ascended to the heights of recollection, i am filled with great sadness, giving a damn, decidedly, when i got no damns to give.  #katyamills

Monday, 10 January 2022

99 cents @ the quikstop

i am singular

organic yet 100% reconstituted
of unknown ethnic
origin. uncompromised 
inside a racial
divide

i feel island
composing metaverse
they wanna buy me
for 99 cents @ the quikstop

a generation why
32-bit clerk in
16-thread scrubs
calls me off my platform
in the pink cloud
brigade

radiating my
tertiary-processed
64-bit self-serve themed
limousine queen
ego state

they blister and
sizzzzzle


#katyamills

flag.stone

downcast 
sitting pretty on the front porch 
calling you

year after year
my feet bare
upon it
the flagstone 
stops my thoughts



#katyamills






Saturday, 8 January 2022

remix she

she takes

these rules-of-road
these mandates federales
these ideas of fairness and fears
she licks them 
speechless

swallows
the music the man
the mainstream
swallows
the age-of-fad line
the cess 
poolz

she carries 
the asses
makes u 
her bitch she 
can liquefy 
the earth 

ignited she fumes
she sucks all the fumes
black with blood
she unassumes

and 
somehow

opening up 
through cold rain of
insect-stung steel
crossing
the many states 
america
kid eyes full 
moon

sending steam
beneath shower head flowers
behind ribbons of rainbow
summer hydrant
waters

somehow
like no one like
no one she 

loves 


#katyamills

california unincorporated

up the hills
to the llama farms
fields of upturned soil
the black sheep tagging behind
unincorporated
california

into a clearing
in the darkness of a day
sunlight woven like cotton
round the swab
they ran

this one
don't need no help in hurtin
do they? a gardener declared
hands on her hips

self-demolished
exhausted
dejected
they ran

finally
into arms

#katyamills

Friday, 7 January 2022

dream state



where divining rods
find us
symbols define us
hard of seeing hearing understanding
it signs us

a snake
with patterned somewhat deceptive
hieroglyphic designs 
jaw unhinged

bolts forward 
to strike



#katyamills

Wednesday, 5 January 2022

s.lavish



frazzled cutting wires
bending over and under 
endless machinery greasy pipes growling
cobwebbed and cornered they
never started finishing school

blackened by chimneys
smoking snipes
thats how god wanted it 
and it was good

#katyamills

teenage communist


only nineteen reading Marx
she was calmly pronounced a communist
by her ever patriotic 
American family

arguing was useless
she laughed so hard

how would she get the grades they demanded
if she blew off class 
assignments?   


#katyamills

Monday, 3 January 2022

the blues of 20.20 twos

to the top of our lungs
the same songs we sing at the top
of the subway stairs
carrying our wares
carrying our 
cares

we pick ourselves up
the world goes around
like there's no future
we let ourselves 
down

may we keep working
through the winters of self
may gratitude blossom 
so renewal can sprout 
from the roots
into shoots

smokin reds
singing blues
the choices
we chose

need not be

the choices
we choose


#katyamills

statica

 
the divine 
exists in the space between stations
where molecules cease 
to behave


#katyamills

Saturday, 1 January 2022

cold steel revisited - one one

cold steel got love 
by Katya Mills 


i remember this well. the cold steel in your eyes reflected off the glass of high rise buildings and bottlecaps rolled flat into the street. in opposition to the glossy sky, the kinda deep blue you rarely see anymore in a city. we got together around the time Drake cut his first album which went viral before viral was an expression. the best album. life got crazy for us back then, the whole of us, maybe a core of ten or twenty related intrinsically to a greater constellation, maybe fifty or sixty or more popping off the skin of the larger community. a bunch of anti-establishment mad motherfuckers with nowhere to go just live for today. you won me over quickly, at a time when i was in a lot of pain, my cousin had died, i couldn't make the funeral, my job was hell and life was like a bad breakup. your life was hell and we both knew nothing of a future until it appeared and it was us. something special had arrived. sometimes Hollywood comes out of nowhere, anywhere, thin air like. now Hollywood is Hollywood and behind the scenes it's all one giant character assassination. but it's a damn good show if that's what it takes to create it. you cannot help but fall in love with it. everything decompensates around it. between us we formed a concept. it was our little secret and there could be no dissent. when you feel this, you know this. magic. real end of the rainbow shit. storybook status. like we already made history, before we made it. cold steel got love like us. cold steel got love.



one one


like the one before 

we start our year with trepidation

a measure of chocolate 

and coffee some vigorous exercise

in the frosty air the drip 

of time into our veins renewed 

by the construct of one

one


#katyamills