Monday, 5 December 2022

12.2

one lucky scratcher left
i can feel you at my back
falling asleep
walmart took our money 
i lean into you 
watching the yarn ball
between cats decided
the pressures of life
abided. we still got something 
no one can take away and 
that's us

#katyamills


river road

one late night
driving along the river
in fog and light taking rain
a great owl swooped low across the road
and took our breath

its speckled grey coat 
illuminated 

some say good luck some
say bad. our thoughts 
land on friends we lost 
who crashed aside this road how 
sad. tonight we give our tears 
it's all we have


#katyamills

Sunday, 4 December 2022

12.4

the yards lit up
against the dying colors of the season
in the faces joyfully caroling
all in the spirit
of giving

#katyamills




Sunday, 27 November 2022

cake

 the boy leaped

on to the swing laughing
over and over like a frog on the move
hair tied up tight to the top
of the head
after the chocolate
cake

#katyamills

library

 

the stillness

cut by the boom of a thousand

covered pages closing 

on a fantasy 


#katyamills

Saturday, 26 November 2022

11.26

all the work was done

now she could rest

she grabbed a pack and a beer 

sat down by the koi pond

and counted the fish


a raccoon had recently killed 

a beloved one of fifty 

some years


friends came from far and wide

to share the season

you gotta dream it up first or 

it will never happen


#katyamills

Wednesday, 23 November 2022

un.known

there was no need for it there was no room for it there was no love for it. and yet they sought it out and pursued it with all their might. they walked out into the sunlight one day and stared at the shadows. an unevenness of exposure to light could make or break the composition. a keen and critical eye would detect it differently than another eye. a satiated eye. why couldn't the earth straighten up on its axis? the old urges had long been defeated. they had stopped making themselves up for nobody to see. everything was off from how they envisioned it. nothing would ever be exactly so. and for the first time ever they felt themselves small and insignificant. they relaxed around this knowing. there was a rustle and a hesitant movement into unknown territory. letting things be what they were and liking them.   #katyamills

neck of a swan

they thanked the divinity for the right to have it
they got all the feelings out. gave the scraps to the cats and dog
life was the neck of a swan
they went for a long walk to who knows where
the great beyond out there

#katyamills

11 stay



stay with this
salt it dress it season it
if you like
or leave it bare and taste it
truly

stay with yourself
your breath and
your life

all the horrors and
wonders

#katyamills



Monday, 21 November 2022

re.locate

unable to wash the technology
out of the system 
they left it all behind
acculturating to life 
in old growth forests
owls and creatures
mysterious textures and sounds
aspects of light that did not
burn 

#katyamills

nd kind


we found our heart and our fight 
there

where they condemned us 


#katyamills

Friday, 18 November 2022

11.26

i give thanks

seeing you get well

we never thought

you would 

i confess i too 

thought you 

a lost cause



#katyamills

swing 17

troubling to be
in the depths of a mood swing
narrow passage upon 
an ocean of feelings 
you drop to the bottom of a swell 
hoping to 
ascend 


#katyamills

pigeon

let us go out tonight
and drop our guards
may nothing terrible
happen

i wanna be there
with you for you
i wanna be there

solid as a penny
flipping through 
the air

out of this tired place
of comfort and routine
let us go out tonight
be with the pigeons
and shine


#katyamills

burn the wheels

catastrophic thoughts

churn through my head i

grab the nearest

bicycle and burn the wheels

off the spokes


#katyamills

Wednesday, 16 November 2022

un.blinded

senses dulled by time 
and heartache

they could no longer see no longer 
hear no longer grasp nor respond
to touch

they withdrew each morning
from an endless store of emotion

across the passing day they
gave it all away 
unblind in the knowing 
how to love 

#katyamills

Sunday, 13 November 2022

live like

do not 

live like me 

for i

cannot i

will not

i would not

live like 

you


#katyamills

untimely

blood
upon the lips 
when i came to

untold hours
unconscious i
stayed up all night without
any draw toward sleep

i mistook the sun
for death and the
moon for the sun

my face
pale as unpainted walls

i wanted something 
i know not what i know not
how to behave

i know not
why

#katyamills



silence

like the greatest adversary

i once fought it. many are the ways to silence


silence


today it lives

among the things

i cherish most


#katyamills


Thursday, 10 November 2022

one

do not be upset

for long dear 

youth


stay sturdy in 

your truth


#katyamills

november love

one bloody second

in love 


paled the bluest

sorrows


#katyamills

mozart

with mass

in c minor

we would never be the same

touched by

amadeus

mozart


#katyamills

past present

the diagnosis invoked tears
told they was stupid and slow
all these years
it atomized any need to apologize
being sorry was better than being attacked
the past still present
in they mind


#katyamills

Sunday, 6 November 2022

legacy

leavin legacy 

behind 

i drift the solar 

systems 

young model 

outfitted  

for space

shot through 

the heart

by stars


#katyamills


opioid 11

 meanwhile 

we all get beat by time

cannot keep the body out of trouble

in the hardest of times we ask 

can i have one pain

killer please?

no!  - they rebuke us

licenses on the line

in the shadow of an opioid 

crisis


#katyamills

Friday, 4 November 2022

sense.less

a goldfish bowl

full of puppies sewn

with flags upon the floppy 

fabric ears was passed 

around


the missile 

flown up into the sky

on government tv


the classroom in rapt attention 

the austere faces of approval 


a trail of smoke

recess


a few boys ran 

behind the brick schoolhouse

and beat each other 

senseless


#katyamills

Thursday, 3 November 2022

repo

when the repo came

to repossess

the sorry souls 

middle of making 

dissonant morning

love 

digress


#katyamills

Wednesday, 2 November 2022

sugar skulls

inside our sugar skulls

the thoughts hold the key

we mill them with cider

from apples in the tree


#katyamills


11.1.22

walking the thoroughfares alone 

on coupled nights catching the train

in time on timeless mornings

they tried not to jump to conclusions

by the time they got where they

did not always realize they were going 

they had had many revelations



#katyamills

Monday, 31 October 2022

in the fog

late at night

they come 


they travel down mountainsides

within water molecules 

by gravity


then rise up off the grassy banks 

as condensation to hover

low over the city 


the full moon witnesses

the harvest. the lost 

souls


#katyamills

cycle 1

bending the river

we cycle through 

minds meandering

gears clicking

hearts pumping

thoughts and chains 

sometimes

derailed


#katyamills

Saturday, 29 October 2022

taking leave

the days they made up in the shadow of war

visiting friends in the country drinking wine 

lugged from France. leave lasted about as long 

as an echo of a song. back to marching across

Europe he stepped out of formation once

thinking of her of their favorite dance


#katyamills

Friday, 28 October 2022

u turn

after the poison
left my blood
weakened i was
not yet dead

agonized by
the one who plotted
against me 

in ten days 
i turned
flirtation
away...

my breath 
my thoughts 
left resting 

my heart beats 
brightly 
whose longing 
knows

what you 
turn toward
grows

#katyamills

shadow

the wishing well was full with well wishing
when it was sincere

the tallest trees leaned over us
the record spinning
throwing shade upon
the fear

#katyamills

dead of morning

one forlorn morning
zombies closing in
central market was depleted 
the many filters black and wet
with grounds

the town ran dry of coffee
we the people cannot believe
throwing manuscripts out windows
we follow and retrieve

#katyamills

Tuesday, 25 October 2022

drafting

one way to start fresh on a piece of writing is not worry about anything. let the words go. care less of punctuation which can be righted in the editing phase. come back to it later. let the rhythm get top billing. storytelling gets VIP treatment. this is a free write so let it be free.  #katyamills

Monday, 24 October 2022

de.fin.ite.ly

she watched everything unfold

with a nonjudgmental eye


the world flipping channels

addicted to celebrity worship murder porn 

character assassination


she had a terrible habit when bored

indulging other's opinions


forgive me

she announced

i have to go and define

myself


#katyamills

Sunday, 23 October 2022

lost to sea

in a vessel constructed by hand

they faced the mighty sea alone

the sails they sewn to withstand

hundred knot winds blown 

past the limits of good faith 

across the monochrome


lashed to the wheel by a knotted sheet

they piloted through a seven day storm 

no sleep no sleep until it dialed down

salted air and foam lodged within 

the corrugated bone


they untethered too soon

a misstep any good sailor could take

to make the much needed repairs

high up on the mainsail mast 

when taken by a gust and forever

lost to sea


#katyamills

Saturday, 22 October 2022

ultra tons of glitter and glue


their opinions 

dragged on inside her skull for years

carrying the tune until

one forlorn day

she picked up a despondent note

by the handle

stuck it with ultra tons

of glitter and glue

crafted an off key

to unlock her super

future


#katyamills 

the i that was not

you said 

you carried conversations in your head with me like i was there

when i was not


you said i said 

i love you


i kissed your head i said 

the i that was not i was true 

because i do


#katyamills



go gentle into waking

with terrifying promise 

fall's early darkness 

raised mushrooms and flowers black

alongside creatures

conceived by lifeless

ground. needless of the sun

indomitable



#katyamills

Tuesday, 18 October 2022

like a stranger

yes 

you burned me again

reigniting the past through your dirty broken 

magnifying lens


hurt

i turned away from this nonsense

and toward my aunt whom you told me

in the same breath

died


harboring the question

have you no heart? 


to me

you are like

a stranger


#katyamills

Monday, 17 October 2022

sun 17 shine

the earth does all the heavy lifting
the sun just shines

today
leave the past in the past
where it was meant 
to be

let the future be unknown


today be like the sun 
let the earth do the lifting
stand up for yourself and 
shine


#katyamills

Sunday, 16 October 2022

findings

the microclimates 

produced by particular social medias 

had an insalubrious effect

on them


they began to feel distant

the more they connect


#katyamills



in my mitochondria

i live with you 
you crossed into my mitochondria
when i was a kid 
and we are inextricably bound
at the cellular level
facing life together

depression 

you cannot have me you
cannot control me you
cannot silence me

i live for those dashed upon 
your rocky cape 
whose spirits can be heard
in one hundred knot winds
whispering oh! if i had but one more day
what i would do!  

the sun has risen
the day given
you cannot have my motivation
my inspiration my 
determination

to live and fight
and love
 

#katyamills 

ex boyfriend days

the chorus of i love yous
lost its charm


denatured by
your screaming voice
mails high CAPS
texting


i dropped boots on
ground beneath your
truck and walked
away


rev the engine
shout me down
in your power
plays


im gonna make it
on my own



#katyamills

waiting out a storm

by candlelight

the coffee strong 

the songs we joyfully butchered 

the night long 

our differences cast

aside  


#katyamills

Friday, 14 October 2022

reception 1980

 static on our screen

in the attic

where they kept us

while they drank sang

played merry


we broke the rabbit 

ears thirsting for 

reception


pushing the window

up on its ropes

we finally got it


diving into the snow

below


#katyamills

Wednesday, 12 October 2022

King of Winchester

he was drunk again

waving it around like the King of Winchester

i made a dash to the fire 

while he fixed himself a vodka tonic

closed the flue and 

smoked him

out


#katyamills

Tuesday, 11 October 2022

ten eleven

again and again

i fought my way out of a bottle

behind wings of paper you

rocked with the train along the tracks 

peeking out at the not newsworthy

i am loved and that's why i 

keep fighting i keep

loving


#katyamills


Monday, 10 October 2022

ten nine born new

with apathy 
her eyes swallowed
magazines

waiting for that which was never 
going to happen

unwilling
to fake the bland recycled sentiment 
the socially adopted 
attitudes

she carved out her own language on 
a few non combative girls

fell out of reverie
into some awkward new 
born space


#katyamills

renewal

these heavy feelings

when i lack the strength to care 

set upon me 

kneeling there


they cannot stop my breath

from breathing my chest

from heaving


like an animal hunted

facing them i

stare




#katyamills

Saturday, 8 October 2022

without words

october 

you got my hair 

chopped

nails colored so

they pop

dressed down and

up i am 

ready for the fall

without words

into your

arms


#katyamills


Friday, 7 October 2022

ten mid.riff seven

lights low

the sauce on simmer i

unlocked the front door

divulging my last secret for

you to revel 

in the midriff

core    


#katyamills

Thursday, 6 October 2022

un.loved

it was hard to understand. she was carrying on about someone who had refused to apologize for what they had said or done to her. i was trying to listen. spelling her name in the moisture around the glass. my finger made for a terrible pen. there was too much ice and too much sour and not enough whiskey. she went on and on without a care. bartender? you know when it's not your problem and yet you can feel a certain way about it? that's how i felt: unloved. unloved like she was feeling unloved. but what's the big deal, really, to be unloved by another who is incapable of truly loving you?   #katyamills

Wednesday, 5 October 2022

mark.

she wanted someone to blame. she wanted answers but there weren't any, you just had to press on. she had an urge to call up and bitch out the store manager, the manufacturer of the product, the mayor, anybody who would receive her anger and hopeless feeling. all she had left in the cupboard was a sleeve of saltine crackers and even they had taken on air. she felt dead inside. inflation had sapped them all. the phone rang and she did not answer. after a good cry she felt alive again. worth something. mark came over and rapped on her window. his name was so sudden. mark. let's get out of here. they walked to the park. he tried to cheer her up. i'll get you an ice cream. she couldn't stand the thought of anything milk related. stop it mark. you can't help me. it's hopeless. i'm a lost cause. he stood on his head until his face turned red and she laughed and laughed until she cried some more. 

#katyamills

Tuesday, 4 October 2022

grinds

they awoke battered by terrors 

a humming heartbeat of a creature

by one eye vigilant of anything

moves speaks  


coffee before work

let the emotions run through the grinds

summoning any god to

get them through



  #katyamills

Monday, 3 October 2022

nobody

i walk the length of rivers 

i scour the search engines

post traumatic stressed i

never rest. descended from nobody

who kept the trains 

running on time



#katyamills



Sunday, 2 October 2022

ten ten

nights lengthen 

the shadows thick and tangible

possess now those who owned them

some vitality ascends 

pulp of squash and pumpkin

arrows of geese piercing ponds

covered with scum

hope may our alliances strengthen

and lengthen too

otherwise we are 

doomed


#katyamills

type

sometimes you don't think you got anything to say but give it a try and it will come. like releasing a bull from a pen. storm out of there bucking, all the thoughts and feelings stored up over the years. a super sweet release and i would not stop for nothing, full bore, no breaks. no getting a glass of water or blowing a nose or answerin the phone. no stretching no standing up no looking away. gotta stay devoted to that cadence that rhythm, keep pressure on those keys ... and the headache soon abandoned the scene for somewhere else ... and the heaviness in the heart dissipated ... and the darkness behind the eyes finally gave way to light.    #katyamills

Friday, 30 September 2022

what was coming

dye their hair
various shades of blue
swallow a hundred social ales
generous at the bar
with me and you
purveyor of bad deeds
known by many names
which stood up
even if they fought off a few
by closing time
never fails
toss a coin
head or tails


they got what was coming

#katyamills


Wednesday, 28 September 2022

bleed

when the days 

equalled in length the nights

i refused to separate my colors 

from whites

society cast me out 

a throwaway

left to my lonesome 

and bleed 

elements both dark

and light

i had all i need 

against a ripple of disdain

i broadcast proudly

in sunshine 

and rain


#katyamills

one night in the car in the rain

that night she knew he wanted to make love to her in the car in the rain

for her just knowing she was wanted she was loved was 

more than making love could ever give


#katyamills

the best

she was worrying about whether or not he would make a good father especially given that it wasn't his son. she thought he was the right type because he talked well like someone who was educated and he was. he had a degree. he could get all kinds of jobs and make them all kinds of money so she wouldn't have to bend over backward sewing buttons on thrift store clothes before walking the kid to school. yes, she thought, he could become a classic sorta breadwinner if it weren't for that other thing in the way right now. but they was young, he was young and still needed some encouragement in the right direction. she could provide it but she hadn't and she better start soon. but it was hard because when he got home from work he was usually pretty keyed up and wanted to relax. and she had the prescription pills and felt bad or like she wanted to help and gave him one he washed down with a beer to relax. what harm? it's not like one turned into two or two into three. not with him. maybe her. god she was pregnant and if the daddy was who she thought it was, he was no good. she didn't even want to know because his knowing might mean he might want to get involved in all the wrong ways. file for custody just because he hated her guts and didn't want her happy? with child. no. she didn't want to know. best thing for her. best thing for the baby. move on and get with a good kind of guy who could really be supportive and fuck the rest. if she couldn't find one of those, i mean, if he wasn't the one either, then hell, she could just raise the kid herself. plenty of women did it. even her friend Donna. she was exhausted with rings under her eyes by now, looking like she aged ten years, but still she was doing it. i guess you gotta let go of yourself, your pride, your vanity, and just be the best mom. she knew she could do that. her modeling career never exactly took off and she hated the industry. all the scumbags who offered photoshoots then never paid what they promised they would. demanding the negatives and getting the run around, or worse, being called a bitch a thousand times for asking. fuck all that. she was gonna focus on being the best.    #katyamills

one can dream

in the eye of a hurricane 

where all is eerily calm and tenuous

all the linens blown off the line

and nothin is the same as was

it is here gazing up at the impossible blue

of the impossible sky

one can dream


#katyamills

Sunday, 25 September 2022

Edvard Munch

if i find myself captured by a mood 

i think of your sister with you

mixing oils to capture the red 

of her hair

in her bed softly resting 

the tuberculin stare

wondering how god could

forsake us          


#katyamills

Saturday, 24 September 2022

22.22

this place got it all

there's nothing here

no technology

we come here stripped down

we can hardly take it

we don't wanna live

this place got it all

no longer charmed out of reality

we see things plainly

this place got it all

like running thirsty 

toward a mirage 


#katyamills



Friday, 23 September 2022

property of the sun

solitary

censored

the sun kept a great distance from everyone it influenced

to do its proper work

the moon 

she wouldn't damage your retina

mark her with flags 

claim her  

you who are owned

by the sun


#katyamills



#katyamills

needy

the sun was burning things

no one could stop it

the sun was trying to reach us

to touch us

the sun wanted to be known

to communicate 

to be felt deeply 

to be seen the sun was

just like us

just like us


#katyamills

toyz

i was overthinking again

ideas spillin out my head like a fountain

makin some rainbow mist

a little kid appeared on the sidewalk

started collecting the residue

grasping it weighing it

galloping away on it like some strange 

new toy 


#katyamills

Wednesday, 21 September 2022

haunted by image

in his hats and boots and 

watch with chain at 5:24 

not a minute more he

turned decisively to his work

so not to die 

of broken heart pain

forever seeing her vanish

in the rain


#katyamills

farewell the queen

they push the cannons out 

the royal arms. the faces 

rushing past an endless queue

farewell the queen farewell

blush streaked with tears

children tugging to go home

starving and sleepless

all along high fences

with spears


#katyamills




Sunday, 18 September 2022

starting over

they could not speak

they wanted to be alone

they got the lit end of it

issued through the tissue

and it hurt but the pain

was good for it equalled

how they felt inside

this is the beginning

they told themselves

all i need is the truth

i can manage the rest


#katyamills

Saturday, 17 September 2022

17 dash


in need of nutrients

having embarked cold and thirsty upon the land

with a curious beating heart she

dislodged her diary and misted its pages

with secret emotions sketching

rough thoughts and plans

then. full of rebellion

dashed them


#katyamills




Friday, 16 September 2022

the unwanted

in a home near to falling

into the sea

living on oysters and powdered foods

the unwanted wanted 

to be wanted


when the sea 

finally took them out

they got their

wish


#katyamills

nothin feels better



than caring 4 plants

new homes made of pottery

you spun with your wheel

i smile at my sad thoughts

and laugh at the angry ones

burying them beneath roots

my hands in the earth


#katyamills

Wednesday, 14 September 2022

#Ukraine

word spread over forest river sea and sand
Ukraine countered the Russian offensive
reclaimed the land!


citizens found in pits hands tied behind backs
others told of holding wires connected to generators under interrogation


women came out of hiding to embrace
the faithful soldiers


#katyamills

the first days of fall

the strings the smoke the horns 

she was kissing him all along the face

the many many foamy glasses

raindrops striking the storefront

windows ... 


the first days of fall

the lips would remember it all


#katyamills

Tuesday, 13 September 2022

methods for mh

they turned the stereo off

stepped into the internal world with its rhythms

befriended the voices and made pacts

with adversaries


#katyamills

Sunday, 11 September 2022

thoughts

they would not chase

all those beautiful dangerous thoughts 

into the corral

some say they lacked

managerial grit

but it was something else

they loved to watch the damn things 

run free


#katyamills

sky casino

 walking away

broken bottles in the lot

hearts a little heavy

i know this place wasn't nothing 

without you

the dreams we conjured

when we doubled down

and won

oh to get away from the world

dying together 

when the pill dropped 

on red

i would happily die 

a thousand times

by your side



#katyamills

Saturday, 10 September 2022

hundred days of disputes

the ends of our sentences

anchored with question marks

the cat raiding the panty drawer

the plant trembles above the root

every time the two of us together

after the hundred days of

dispute


#katyamills

life of a writer

they ask me how

i write. i may i might

tell them. or not

i establish rules then 

in light of the risen sun

they lie broken

at my blood red

toenails


#katyamills


withstanding

hunted on the hills

san francisco

hunted under the el tracks

lake street. chicago

hunted by the exes

by childhood

living in the shadows 

of my memories

god gave me the spirit 

i could not summon 

on my own

to withstand

anything


#katyamills


awakening 1

they awoke to the shaking weight

of a bakery truck driving by

they awoke and knew not how they got there

they awoke to the sun and a heavy fog behind the eyes

an aroma of fresh baguettes

the underbelly of a palm tree


#katyamills

Monday, 5 September 2022

9.5

the nine to five to nine 

with escapism was perfectly

in line. they got plenty of bread

never went home or let it get

to the head


#katyamills

bar 1

she asked if he needed another drink

he nodded and smiled 

had he any courage he would have said no

just someone pretty like yourself

to talk to


#katyamills

Saturday, 3 September 2022

right to exist

on the margins of a world whose 

messaging often implores me 

to believe i have no place here

i live in affirmations like you're okay

you haven't done anything you have 

the right to exist!


#katyamills

Friday, 2 September 2022

nine ten

you know a life was lived 

when you cannot say

the book was better than 

the real thing


#katyamills

Thursday, 1 September 2022

the queen is dead

Ukraine being bombed to hell 

China painting Hong Kong red

no one in the world can stop it 

now the queen is dead 


#katyamills

Wednesday, 31 August 2022

dys.mantle it

they pick your bones
because they can and 
you're supposed to take it
capitalism says so
you haven't figured how
to dismantle that so you get drunk and sad
turning your anger
inward   #katyamills 

#blemish

hit all the keys

leave the blemishes in

let go of perfection. exhale

let them write us off 

a rock in the shoe

a distraction... let it be 

they deflate while we 

rise


#katyamills

September 5, 2022

Sacramento broke its all-time heat record 

i was feeling dead tired running central air relentlessly i

got my prescription filled. leaned in on the paper

writing forms bringing something to life


#katyamills



out.stand.ing

we run on sentences

sunshine coffee and rain

we stand out in a world 

run on credit and oil

and war


#katyamills


Tuesday, 30 August 2022

see by the heart

a fallen mood made my eyes
hide. they opened when asked
to lean into the demands of the day 
then closed like a book of magick
in time i would learn to see by
my heart. in time to see
by the heart  #katyamills 

zomby warhead

we all got a hundred problems 

and i got mine. zombie on the road

coffee seeking missiles capped with warhead aches

too early for the sun and so

we exist in darkness


#katyamills

Monday, 29 August 2022

starfish


on a superyacht 
at the bottom of the sea
their destiny as starfish
came to be

#katyamills


bend down low

they pick up the morning paper 

take the morning pills they watch

the markets fall and rise like

fortune and loves from long ago 

it's these memories lodged in the spine

can give them dynamite chills


#katyamills


Saturday, 27 August 2022

1984

we caught our breath in an army 

navy store after running three blocks

you held a pocket knife

under my neck. gimme all you got

my face turned red and hot

i dropped an elbow in your gut you 

were my best friend


#katyamills



Friday, 26 August 2022

#PTSD

watching the many screens 

killing the endless hours and

they say there's a heart in your chest

i don't remember and they say 

there's thoughts in your skull

i don't know. but it's better

to be numb than feel


#katyamills

Sunday, 21 August 2022

spirit plasticity

immortal again our spirits ascended

having circled the drain for years inside the human body

had we only remembered the future

we would have long ago wished

we were dead


#katyamills

Saturday, 20 August 2022

either or

they wanted us dead

like an error in some brittle code 

we could crash the system

and the system wasn't nothing

without us


#katyamills


Friday, 19 August 2022

translucent orange

my brother made a family 

to keep the lineage alive while i 

produced only a masterpiece 

literary in nature to mark 

these times


#katyamills

Thursday, 18 August 2022

paper gray

in the fields they look like deformed volleyballs

paper lanterns in the trees

why retire? the old man said 

keep working. eighty can feel like fifty 

paper gray wasp nests 

manufactured under the eaves


#katyamills



silverado

i drank the sugar water out

the bottom of a snow 

cone took a tumble in the forest

jumped a '78 Silverado for some men

gathering cedar wood for the winter

you cannot fake happiness why

would you?


#katyamills

Wednesday, 17 August 2022

leaving base camp

base camp

cool dead quiet before dawn

jumps into packs tied down

sheets spikes knots

and clothes


a thousand eggs for breakfast

a hundred cups tapped off 

the coffee urn


radios full of feedback 

my love my love the dreamers 

swoon


above the swirling winds 

howl around a hidden

peak


#katyamills

Monday, 15 August 2022

my subconscious

the things that keep me up at night

cats on catnip and cars on petrol

 kids lighting explosives in the alley

no longer bother me. you could say they

save me from my subconscious


#katyamills

scout

the scouts covered alot of ground 

in the 45 hours i was away

formed a line along the baseboards

dove into gaps in the caulking

yet they would not find the 

sugar


#katyamills

Volcano, CA

your son taught you how 

to take a photo remotely 

by your watch. we made a totem pole with our heads

the phone banded to a dogwood sapling

inland from a rocky 

beach


they called off the search 

a month later. all they found were our belongings

circling a carved trunk of cedar 

now hollowed into a home

for squirrels


#katyamills




Friday, 12 August 2022

ascension

life in all its sprawling nonsense 

and sincerity one moment full of the awful 

and thoughtless the next colored by some 

remarkable act of selfless ascension


#katyamills

8.10

there was a way. you could not go to bed a moment after nine. you could listen to the BBC and lie there between sleep and consciousness, or actually fall asleep. you could not get up a moment before five. you had to care for the animals before yourself. stretch the body and mind. you could say a prayer if you believed in gods or try to get your true feelings out. then a cold and hot shower for to see both sides of life. some boiled oats with sugar and coffee. there was no other way and the rules they kinda made themselves. #katyamills

swipe

how do you tell a story

when half your thoughts are liars?

swipe them away and

tell the truth


#katyamills

new high

sunday morning

jazz club

Tampa Bay. 1997

struck by a social chord they 

got the beat back

having failed to prosper

in willful self

isolation


#katyamills

8.8

they had a change of heart

subsumed by the weight of evidence

magnified by a fire sky

if you're gonna do a 180

may as well make the wheels 

sing



#katyamills

Tuesday, 9 August 2022

bang

the dreams wanted me

dead or alive. i blasted my way out

at 4am. now it's midnight

i'm fighting sleep again

another rockstar another 

bang


#katyamills

pass

he made a pass at me like a plane flying in low visibility without an instrument panel. i slapped his face. quickly. so nobody suffered.  #katyamills

Friday, 5 August 2022

8.10

a bar fight 

a skull fracture

no one knows who did it

deep in the forest

far away 

a lonely dog

calls out


#katyamills


commission

god is an artist

the commission has no deadline

drawing us in 

and out

brushing over us all

with fresh

oils


#katyamills

century HK

as a kid in Germany

he tangled with hitler youth

in 1938 got out alive

enlisted in WWII with the Allies

got a gold star tracking down gestapo in his homeland

went on a sociopolitical 

lean. advisor to every US administration imaginable!

2022 kicks back in New England

working on a century

recorded by the 

BBC


#katyamills


Tuesday, 2 August 2022

clingy vines

on the first of august 

he contemplated murder and suicide

she was with another man now

he picked up the brushes 

instead of the rifle. drew some clingy 

vines over a fence. they was

only thoughts 


#katyamills

Grace

all two and twenty years 

i wanna be a social worker she said

scribbling down our orders

 i came from a broken home

her blue-grey eyes hard yet

softened by hundred stacks 

of pancakes 


#katyamills

Sunday, 31 July 2022

dizzy

thoughts. sift through them for the ones will give you strength to face another day. the venom from traumas is pure and lethal. 😵 when dizzy you can sometimes dance but not always

bloom

get up and say a prayer. drag these 50 year bones to the kitchen. pull the bag of beans out of the freezer and and grind them by hand while the tea kettle fires water to a boil. memories begin to percolate in my styled bed head. the whistle. the first splash into the ceramic cone lined with filter is to let her bloom over the mason jar. the thoughts are beginning to breathe. images of new england and chicago and the road between them. clockwise over the grounds and feelings are bubbling up now. long slow exhalations. it's between four thirty and five. the frothy brown liquid is ready. deep blue yosemite mug. pull my hood over my head, open the sliding glass door and walk out into the dawn. i have to leave the past behind or it will kill me. just listen to the morning birds. just watch the sky fill with light. #katyamills

give a fuck

a long sleep 
followed a terrible apathy

woke up off a few shots 
of espresso and la crema 
d'italia

promised myself 
once i recovered 
gonna give a goddamn 
galaxy of fucks
today

#katyamills

Thursday, 28 July 2022

melon

a great rain gave the land muscle

you could see it

squeezed into the grapes 

on the vines braided tight across the land

the sun made the bodies tearful

green rind rockers

a memory of watermelon

an artillery of seeds

shot out of the mouths of

boys


#katyamills

n.one

all the broken hearts
came together to make one
with chips and holes and cracks
drippin blood from the edges
auctioned off at Christies
to a soul who had
none

#katyamills

Tuesday, 26 July 2022

afterlife


all this stuff won't be useful 

to you he says. not after you're dead and gone


i saw through and hung on tight 

his aim clearly to separate 

me from it. for i was young and nowhere

near the after life


#katyamills


Monday, 25 July 2022

distraction

the vision idled

distraction stuck a knife in us 

the vision watched us like house plants

rooted in the here and now

needing to be 

watered


#katyamills

Saturday, 23 July 2022

introspective 1

the young explorer wondered 

were the interior world as immense as
the material one

might it be more efficaceous
to set up a meditation retreat within the forest

and live the life
there?

#katyamills

Lenny Chacon

when the young man passed away

friends of his who were also homeless called out to her

over the garden wall


she penned a tribute

describing how he helped her with the weeding

but mostly of his kind soul


she traveled to the small town in the Delta 

carrying a hundred copies 

to pay respects


 #katyamills

2 elation

the saddest day 

gave way 

when the cat came home

to elation

got off work early 

watched birds by binocular

tacos and coke

we made love

fell asleep to maurice ravel 

nine inch nails and 

the smiths


#katyamills

july harvest

they mixed drinks in the valley

with the plump hanging pears pulled from orchards 

hemmed in by vineyards 


a sweet exhaustion set in 

the sun usurped the sky and lit the 

golden fields


#katyamills




war 1

these divisions in the earth
pay heed. often invisible
noted by a sign or fence or posting
which side you are on may 
be the difference between death
and life

#katyamills

Tuesday, 19 July 2022

language 1

i like to pick up on cadences

language rolling off the tongue

a writer's job is like mining colloquialisms 

off the streets


#katyamills

Monday, 18 July 2022

the creative life

they found refuge in the creative life
after years of deconstruction

born to a mother who 
wanted a clone
disliked for having formed 
an identity outside of 
her own


#katyamills

full speed


we gather around the table
eating chicken off the bone listening
to the old man tell us stories

the snow
melting off the mountains
comes toward us now
full speed


#katyamills

whatever (it takes)

 smoked a whole pack 

of cigarettes drank an entire pot

of coffee


whatever it takes to keep still 

and write the damn

book


#katyamills

homecoming denied

whistling and searching

they got they arm cut up and belly slashed

that's how the cat

tells you he's not coming 

home


#katyamills

Thursday, 14 July 2022

one and two

i was one milk tea short of a spectacular day

when you told me you were at your breaking point 

the beneficiary of your former friend's rage 

i doubled up my order adjusted my coordinates

and found you     #katyamills


galaxies

images from space

made all my big problems 

small. now i can do whatever

my heart calls out

for   


#katyamills


Tuesday, 12 July 2022

faith 1

i believe god can only be felt not 

touched, heard, seen, gendered or named

and the way you feel god's energy

alternating creative and destructive

is by faith


#katyamills

9.12.12 remix

the landlady gathered up the law, some paper and lies, tied them together like a bundle of black flowers then sprung upon them. the RDA of stress doubled. one morning they heard her walking up the hall toward them in the little room. they pulled their favorite jeans like second skin up and over the kneecaps. they squinted and came up on their toes. perked up their senses as best they could. out of the fires of passion and creation comes frequent destruction. to dissipate the pain they endured by painstaking measures to avoid scrutiny, they smoked some weed. capillary action in the eye. you better get out of here, she shouted through the door. you and your cat. you cannot stay!   #katyamills

Monday, 11 July 2022

farewell to a peaceful day

it started so well. a cool morning after a hot day in the valley. my love came to see me and we read the newspaper together on the balcony. like any couple on any sunday morning going back a hundred years. the prime minister of Japan had been assassinated. i went to prepare coffee and discovered one of the cats was missing. somehow the front door had been left open. my heart sank. we searched and searched. i called and whistled and called before falling into an emotional flatland. i went online to distract myself from the shock. one of my old friends whom i survived addiction with  - initials DC -  had been homeless on the streets for many months now. farewell to a peaceful sunday.   #katyamills

Saturday, 9 July 2022

silhouette conducere

1898. Vienna 

the great composer Mahler upon the stage 

inhabiting the many forms...


a bull fighter. a teacher giving 

lessons. a thief backing away 

a thinker. a man lost in cups 

a sorcerer aligning the stars 

an emotion laid bare by 

the sun


#katyamills

misspent holiday

they ran up their hotel bills
feeling the world had run its course
overcharged to the maxxx 
living for the moment they championed 
another misspent holiday
they didn't care they even welcomed 
the aftermath

#katyamills

farewell to the pm

in the House of Lords

we watched you hold court past the point of despair

your ministers deserting their posts 

the podium propping you up like a stand

falling on your sword between general elections

 night falls. the people cannot save you 

somewhere in Kyiv Zelensky picks up a burner 

to offer kind words and

help you rest      #katyamills

Wednesday, 6 July 2022

madness stops within you


to stop in yourself

the madness of the world

online and off

find what you stand for

tolerate disagreements

be properly outraged 

and mostly passionate

able to voice what you care about

and why


#katyamills


fix - movement no.5

they parade after a feeling 

like they are saving unborn children

they drive for days in need of a fix

they take hormones and kill pills

so no unwanted creature roams the earth

what's right is not a destination you 

can pinpoint on a map

it's a sonata 

with countless variations


#katyamills

Tuesday, 5 July 2022

Virginia City

strapped into your cousin's 1966 Shelby Cobra 

we rumbled charged and fishtailed up winding roads lined with sagebrush 

to a haunted old town built into the side of the mountain

they had stepped off the sidewalks and walked the streets 

a believer, you thrust the stick forward

redlined and smoked them all. terrified turning round i saw them

wave like lurching. untouched 

beneath tall and solitary 19th century brick homes 

and i knew    #katyamills

holiday weekend

we had a big fight then mended our hearts
fireworks are not allowed
we followed the highway up and over the mountains 
to see your cousins in Dayton, Nevada
the land on the other side dry as my eyes 
by then. i guess god wants to keep us together

#katyamills

Saturday, 2 July 2022

2045

strange living in the years before singularity

technology made things very comfortable

and AI had it out for us

she placed you in the least expected most compromised of positions

she tossed back another cosmopolitan she 

exposed you for a charlatan 

in the temple of the spirit


#katyamills


Friday, 1 July 2022

paws

under a frothy sky of foam

we were going round and round

these arguments long lost sense

breath of life what i would take 

and give. a moment  just to live


#katyamills

Thursday, 30 June 2022

Boomtown

in the cool Nevada mornings

hiding beneath sagebrush scattering left and right

the quail shriek and travel in pairs

you can observe their cousins at the casino in Boomtown

who exhibit the same behavior upon striking

 a Keno jackpot


#katyamills

Carson City

the winds across the plains

waged war against the fences

the quail shrieked

the fences fell into the dust

the horses the tumbleweed 

steamed off toward mountain

streams


#katyamills

Wednesday, 29 June 2022

6.29 NV

in Nevada the horses roam wild 

early morning in search of food 

having found where the fences leave off 

they come up to greet you in this dry and 

barren land


#katyamills


Tuesday, 28 June 2022

how not to fight

instead of going round and around 

crowding light and making shade

behind impoverished excuses

like i don't like confrontation

we might revive the dying art

of listening without distraction 

speaking respectfully

creating space for acceptance 

if not downright mutuality 


#katyamills



#katyamills



coffee slut

our breakfast joint kicked us out. covid rules. paper cups and bags to go

so we sat down in the lot unwrapped our sandwiches and ate

a honda with a coffee slut bumper sticker was running up on the curb 

you got up and helped her park. she thanked you by standing there 

spouting how ukrainians are all nazis and vaccines give us covid 

her toenails bright ugly orange over my pastrami bagel

the best thing about being on the street is you're not a captive

audience   #katyamills


Sunday, 26 June 2022

the form they took so pleasant to behold


i bought a glue gun

spread the pieces out on the coffee table to connect them

the traumas they ruptured my memories

then walking around town the questions were flying

where did you get such a lovely coat? how much did it cost?

trust me it's more than you are willing

to pay


#katyamills

Friday, 24 June 2022

proliferation of books

working i made barely enough money

to pay off the service repairs the utilities

groceries petrol clothes hair and nails

taxes insurance credit and mortgage

license registration renewals...


with what remained i

bought and gave away 

books


#katyamills

losers winners la la la

they was raised super competitive

like - kill kill kill!  

the rare times they won a contest they

 didn't really know how to feel

deep down they wondered

why cannot we all be cherished?


#katyamills

the ones who ought

they was obsessed and careless

and reckless. then it was over

they put a decided stop they

found a heart for living right

the long heavy shadows

blended. telling stories 

in quick short bursts. loving the ones 

who ought


#katyamills


 

the earth does all the heavy lifting while the sun just shines

the sun crossed the sky

everyone was amazed 


reminded her of her ex


didn't do a damn thing

and got all the credit


#katyamills

Hudson Bay. 1922


man against polar bear
man against walrus
against dog against dog
man against winter
man against time
against hunger

no need to be
against self


#katyamills

Wednesday, 22 June 2022

old model ford

we pushed past cobwebs

got her tires up. compressor plugged into the cig lighter

her battery would take some time to charge

so we all sat around together waiting on this old model ford 

the old man pronounced the virtues of a burro over a horse

when traversing mountainous country

how to get pure drinking water by digging a hole beside a river 

how the best place to hide 

when running from somebody

is the cemetery    


#katyamills

Monday, 20 June 2022

6.18

we got lucky sevens in the valley

sodas with paper straws we

took our summer with everything on it

the cars no longer sound like cars

the lakes are low the rivers 

high and we. for once we are

happy    #katyamills

Sunday, 19 June 2022

buttercup

contractors pull up in trucks

on a summer morning

one holds the door for me 

at the café


i remember a boy inside a shirt 

a field of Ranunculus

holds one to my chin and declares

you like butter 


#katyamills

sensation

it was 1991. Nirvana and Alice had just released records
i was reading and drinking and writing and smoking 
watching the winds pick up speed
some bastard stole my bike so i 
got around on foot

#katyamills

Tuesday, 14 June 2022

Anna Karenina



Anna KareninaAnna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I did not love it. I liked it. I was able to conquer my attention span and read 1,000 pages. That was more enlightening than the book itself. Tolstoy of course - a master. You see him in Levin. You find the most honorable writing in tribute to the Russian peasants. They are like the true heroic figures of this novel. All the society crap Anna was destroyed by. So sad. So predictable and timeless. All countries' societies are the same. How people treat people. Drive some to suicide. Vronsky was very typical in many ways. A typical man with ambition and a sex drive. I hate how he left his horse to die and didn't seem to care. In a way he treated Anna the same. But not on purpose. Unconsciously. The peasants with their scythes clearing the million acres of fields. Laughing. Not caring. Working. Living. Beautiful the way Tolstoy describes them. Levin aspires to live with them before he gets married. Maybe even after. Anna's son and the scene where she returns to see him one final time - this scene is truly magnificent. Tolstoy's gem. The best thing I got from this book was humbled (as a writer). Also delighted. By the tour of Moscow, St Petersburg, and the descriptions of hunting and farming in the Russian countryside.

View all my reviews

fact 1

fact. you don't have to 

smoke the tires off your cars

to be happy. but some do

and some are  #katyamills


flower

as you fall in love you may find

less time for your friends who 

may wanna kill you for it so

be sure to bring them flowers 

from time to time if you hope 

to stay alive   #katyamills

Russian Ukrainians

they painted one another's nails 

the colors of the flag 

and while doing so they 

talked about the war and drank english tea 

and wondered when the men

were coming home


#katyamills


Sunday, 12 June 2022

we are true

you took my hand you 

pulled me forward against the same old stories

surrounding us


they would always be made up

whereas we are

true


#katyamills

 

Friday, 10 June 2022

strawberry supermoon

the kids were playing video games all night 
like they were going out of style
the moon looked down from the sky. omniscient
a plastic breeze filled our lungs with particles
as we sipped our strawberry soda
out of paper straws. oh 
what a life


#katyamills

fighter

i went to see him
he was watching tv 
tired from work he did not want conversation
i silenced the commercials
it made him unhappy 
i wanted to share my day and learn about his
he got angry i 
threw the remote at him 
stomped to the backyard followed 
the clay painted fence

there was new growth coming up 
the round up could not kill it all 
nature is a fighter and 
so am i  #katyamills

6.11

the mortgage was due

the phone the electric and credit cards

the mercury rising we hit the store early

for milk and eggs and the happy baguette

i heard a song in the store and started singing 

along. a memory slipped away like a seal

off the pier deep into 

the bay

 

#katyamills

Tuesday, 7 June 2022

bird in mouth

 my cat waits on the balcony. all night he waits. in the mornings he waits. scanning the sky. swishing his tail. one day all of this intense focus and patience will end with a bird. in mouth. 

#katyamills

Sunday, 5 June 2022

front end


i like to keep it big and wide open. the heart. let it thump out in front. you risk getting hurt that way. true. but mine's got that feature, the same one they put on new cars, whereby the engine angles and slides down when struck in a head on collision. even when doing next to absolutely nothin', i aspire to keep it real. give thanks and praise.  #katyamills

Redding 1

we met you randomly on the banks 

where the river was churning in a  

hydroelectric power play 

you told us your troubles with the law.

the domestics. the time you did

how you're not a bad guy

if they weren't lying and cheating

then... then what? then you wouldn't have

beat them? we wanted to toss you 

in the river to help you wake up

but we weren't strong enough 

to lift you  #katyamills

Saturday, 4 June 2022

headwaters

we descend Mount Shasta to a city park at its base, where you find the headwaters of the Sacramento River. they say the snow water takes 50 years to flow through the mountain to this source. people carrying containers make their way around the mouth to the reach the cave the pure water pours from. a sacred place. from here the giant river opens up and irrigates the land. from Redding to Chico to Sacramento. across the Delta and down into San Francisco Bay. the days are hot and dry. this is the valley. we search for olives...trailed by birds. #katyamills

Friday, 3 June 2022

consistency of

we drove north for hours. spotting birds by their wing marks. coming up with names for bands. stopped at Granzella's for local olives stuffed with blue cheese and jalapenos. we played our first gig as Consistency of Jelly. we bit down on pit fragments to give our teeth that i fought the law look punk bands have. it was a righteous way to kick off Pride.  #katyamills

Shasta-Trinity

Redding, California

view from a second story window into a tangled semi-wild space surrounded by the Shasta-Trinity mountains. a choreographed movement. the shadows. from the trees. under the morning sun. superimposed on the earth. 


#katyamills




six six

a camaro pulled up next to my vw gti on the freeway like they wanted to race. i turned my head to look but the windows were tinted. i'm probably twice the kid's age, i thought. they pulled away and you could hear the engine. i appreciate the offer. i rarely drive dangerous anymore but i did when i was a kid. i played my music loud and got amped up. this car i got now, she hits a hundred quick, just by stepping on the gas. i'm older now and i prefer cruising. but i like how she responds. will get me out of any trouble i might be in. i don't drive much anymore. i don't wanna go hungry. yesterday, thirteen gallons cost me just shy of a hundred bucks. right here in california.

#katyamills

Tuesday, 31 May 2022

may

what you went through when you went through hell 

and lived to tell. by your living force by your spirit by your kindness 

they will know


#katyamills


Monday, 30 May 2022

six two

America today feels like the same old bedrock of world power we've maintained since the first world war.  a hundred years old. in her shadow she feels like fury and sound under an amphetamine sky. stout moral fortitude condensed into some lone wolf capital minded lobbyist fighting a tide of rising interest rates and people who care about something other than money. amortized forms trapped within a threadbare atmosphere. thinning arguments floated to buy time to solve the latest imperial conundrum. underclothes made of petrol product as we pitch our protests high against fossil fuels... wondering how can we unpack it... formulaic disobedience left unpunished to our dismay. we come home to blackened soot of unbecomings, where before was pastoral beauty. our unified material focused attention on one bloodbath after another through the news feed and sound byte of choice. amusement park of adrenal cells worked out again on the unoxygenated dashboard. we hold together somehow. like polar ice drifting toward the equator. maybe it's hope.    #katyamills

5.31

terribly windy all night
gave way to stillness this morning
self disinterest gave rise to self
compassion

confronted with an orange
i swallowed it whole

#katyamills

stranger

when on holiday sometimes

it's like i forgot who i am

after all the weeks and months of work

sometimes you need to talk 

or coax yourself out

then appear like a

stranger


#katyamills

5.30

the wind howling in the winter. the road winding around the lake. the red barn with white trim. the icy stream and snow. we gathered around your pot belly stove for warmth. it's memorial day. though i am too far from New Hampshire to lay flowers on your grave, i am thinking of you. the hot cocoa. your wicked laughter.  #katyamills

Sunday, 29 May 2022

the long days

what the fuck was i gonna do?

you were suffering from the long virus 


listen to you and hope with you

that insurance will wake up and pay 

for your meds 


#katyamills


Saturday, 28 May 2022

5.28

saturday.

i pushed for an oily cup of joe to loosen my structural bolts

swam out and caught a monster wave


#katyamills

Thursday, 26 May 2022

commie manifesto

they nod off in class

walking the pencil lead down the line 

grounded at the margins

this is a brand of resistance in an autocracy

falling asleep 


they cannot control what you dream


#katyamills

Wednesday, 25 May 2022

un.con 39

in the thirty-ninth year on earth the uncon appeared and became conscious. a new formidable player in my life. uninvited. she had to be held up at the gate, a credentials check was imperative. this puppy has some torque to her, i thought, my adrenaline rising at the sight of her. she might turn over the apple cart (the stomach the sole beneficiary). i made a quick decision and i killed her - with kindness. i could no longer survive being conned.  #katyamills

XYZ

you don't call. you text. don't ever call first or you may be banned or cancelled. if it's an emergency call 911. you can text emojis to convey your feelings. some emojis may have different meaning depending on your generation (x, y, z) marker. if you call you don't exist. and remember: no one will ever listen to your voicemail. strategy to survive: take nothing personal. 

 #katyamills

impressions from a dream

i had a dream. you were standing in line for concert tickets. for us. i was waiting in the car outside. i could see you through the glass. when you got back to me i realized you only bought one. for yourself. we had a big fight. i was outraged again. you could see i was hurt and nothing could be done about it. emotional i pulled away from the curb. deep in the heart of a city. i was full of adrenaline and losing it. i stepped on it and drove that old Chevy into a subway enclosure. bloody stepping out on the street. you were okay, more worried for me. someone called for an ambulance. then we could hear the sirens. you embraced me. i finally got it. you cared. i couldn't calm down.  #katyamills

Monday, 23 May 2022

summer love

 hearts throbbing

ice cream cones sobbing 

they traded kisses
all summer

#katyamills

Sunday, 22 May 2022

go on. be infinite

delivering packages on a bike

i am pumping legs

exhaust through my nostrils

the city a living breathing monster

the cars are out to kill us


flat on my back 

staring up between skyscrapers

blood trickling down the side of my mouth

i am no longer finite i am

a strange peace


#katyamills

5.22

the news of the world became more and more a venom

administered into the vein by the cell phone 


#katyamills

Saturday, 21 May 2022

BOOK REVIEWS




BOOK REVIEWS
Posted on May 21, 2022 by KatYa


HERE ARE THE INITIAL REVIEWS ON GOODREADS.COM FOR MY POETRY BOOK: ‘UP FROM THE DOWNTRODDEN’ – Katya Mills
Average rating3.53 ·

Rating details

· 30 ratings · 13 reviews

#There’s nothing like the feeling of connection with poetry… “you tore into us drunk again one of your moods unpredictable charged”

#overall, this poetry style wasn’t for me. however, the author has a great flow, and even when a poem didn’t do it for me, i could still feel the rhythm of the words. i did really enjoy some of the poems!

#It takes me what can seem like a long while to read a book of poetry that itself is not that many pages with poems that aren’t themselves pages long. I do this because, to me, poetry is a short form of expression that, even in its longer iterations, conveys deep emotions and intimate thoughts in terms sometimes abstract, but always involving a tone/mood. Katya Mills’ collection is ripe with such short poems that convey certain moods.

#i LOVED reading this book. i win it in a giveaway, and stayed up at four in the morning reading through it. im normally not a poetry person, but something about this book really made me connect with it. ill definitely be reading through again, making it like my daily one page at a time book.

#I’m not a big poetry reader but I’m very happy I got to read this gem. It was so refreshing and I really enjoyed reading it.

Friday, 20 May 2022

approaching LA

a tractor rolls 

slow across a dusty canyon

a cowboy perched atop a full blooded bull

waves his hat 

the mountains splash shade

southwest of Bakersfield

the sun will rise there 

from the east

forever


#katyamills

Wednesday, 18 May 2022

27

the age the artist died
by 28 was sitting with all the others who 
were wiped out around Saturn 
having breakfast after the last
supper

#katyamills

fade into culture

campbell's soup cans tagged on subway cars descend into giant holes in the earth. it gets dark. we pick up speed. ✨️ the sound of steel on steel is amplified by the concrete coated walls. an artist absorbs every sense of it. a product comes into being. to be sold. sold. sold. my hair turns white like warhol. 🙃 when we come into the light i have my mysteries inside my heart. you will have to kill me.

#katyamills

may 18

i have this aching in my bones. but it's ok. summer is about to strike. the sun the source of energy. i love this feeling. i know this feeling. i'm at the edge of a jagged cliff. preparing for a deep dive... into a book.


#katyamills

commerce

they came up with creative ways to describe what they were doing and what they wanted and how to get it...

belushi

rolling up the window

bang bang girl


#katyamills

Wednesday, 11 May 2022

id.11


identity 

intentionally made public was 

for visibility not vying for 

attention


#katyamills

Monday, 9 May 2022

10 baby geese

we went on a walk. the clouds were trying to hem in the sky. a man played tug of war with a pitbull. we talked about society and how people find one another through attributes they lack. ten baby geese waddling to the pond. connections can help you get ahead but what's ahead? is it money? visibility? business? fame? all of that and an insatiable sense of loneliness.   #katyamills

Sunday, 8 May 2022

approach of summer

distant fireworks and a full moon 

overnight i lost my mind and

fell in love 


#katyamills

tongue.

through the years they lost everything they ever loved or had. the relationship with language endured this troublesome time. to a point of speaking somewhat in tongues  


#katyamills

writing.

writing is the only outrageous thing i do anymore

#katyamills

blue.


blue periods long

after writing

blue periods before 

writing

blue periods when 

unable to locate

the words


#katyamills

sonny leon and the strike

we jumped up and down hollering 

they came from 15 horses behind and

charged ahead to win


the odds were the worst but we 

took them. by the tears in your eyes

i knew: you carried long odds and i 

carried them too 


#katyamills


mean.ing

one sweet morning 
after years of falling down 
cursing and swearing and berating 
themselves

the mean streaks became 
a frame to hold the inner
beauties

#katyamills

5.8.22


historically having had 

a rather severe allergic reaction upon contact they

reached out to their mother annually 

by the root end of a fiery

orchid


#katyamills

turtle 2

what you got from the outside 
while curled around your profound emotional wave tunnel was 
likely to be invalidating 

#katyamills

Sunday, 1 May 2022

the F up

i got in about 3 words for all 

yours i know you tryin to connect 

so no love lost. i will resist speaking over you 

4 only so long then. becomes. please

shut the fuck up


#katyamills

Saturday, 30 April 2022

4:30

a kinship formed during our time of hardship. grieving those we lost. each day precipitated new possibility. conscious expansion tumbled over the land from stream to river and out into ocean and full light spectrum. we anticipated our time together joyfully.

#katyamills



another understanding that defies all confusion

escalations in rent. fighting over gasoline and who was to pay...i became concerned. i gave you the numbers. though confused in our minds we need not be for we are all made up in the heart

#katyamills

photograph from a time long long ago

living off the land
you and your cousin 
captured for eternity
young men astride horses 
centered between generations
in the frame on the wall 
were you more happy
than sad? the question
had no answer even when
you were alive

#katyamills

Friday, 29 April 2022

endless

we went to bumble to find bffs. our talks were getting cold. the bffs took our energy and spent it. the sky fills were colorful and platonic which reduced the risk of harm. the water sexy and potable. rainbows appeared and decided to stick around. we wrung our hearts with joy, there being no end

#katyamills

Ukraine

seeing the vision in the Ukrainians

the volunteers the photojournalists 

hope is restored. a country fights

for the values by which it came to exist!

that's sacred. still. it's war and

hope is also decimated


 #katyamills

Thursday, 28 April 2022

4.27

there's a special home in hell

for the critic who tears an artist to shreds

there's a in-law unit on the same property

for those who promote book banning

 suppression and censorship


#katyamills

Sunday, 24 April 2022

Bollywood

packaged pretty with seduction
oversalted with scent and firm hold spray
they was a spy from Saturn. i could tell
by the porous shadow

i invited them 2 tea
through google translate i apologized
4 the condition of the planet and

appeased them with Hollywood
and Bollywood icons


#katyamills

profile of a rainmaker. 1950

what with his fancy suits and rolodex he

brought all kinds of business to the firm and great parties

and for that he was appreciated in NYC

yet nobody knew how he truly felt about anything

and the only evidence he had he belonged

was a pulse


#katyamills

the meadow

walking in a meadow in spring

better than any experience society could have thought up 

and charged for


#katyamills

cost of dying

due to the cost of living

we cannot afford funerals

so whatever you do

don't die


  #katyamills

april 25

the kid at dutch bros this morning handed me my annihilator with light ice. i asked: how are you? i had a dream last night, he said. i was back in high school, late for a physics exam on chapter 5, and my ride fell through. i offered him a quick interpretation of the dream. i hate you! he said, i don't want to know anything about myself!

#katyamills

modesto ash

deeply cut 
mangled by the bastards 
we thought they killed you
in the fall 

oh magnificent ash of modesto
muscular stumps reaching for the wires 
and sky

deeply hurt
my man was blazing mad he
lashed out at the foreman 
all winter they 
clashed

in the spring
you showed new life and
there was peace
again


#katyamills

Saturday, 23 April 2022

society high

society refused 

the likes of you and me

too bad for society. high but not whole

unrepresentative 

by the difference


#katyamills

Friday, 22 April 2022

panic

when the worry turns
2 catastrophes which cannot be
panic on the lonely road
the fear of fear this cannot be
heart pounding chills 
time slows down
you cannot breathe
it cannot be

cup your hands
for some small rhythm
in panning the motion slow
for gold. move against the grain
my love counter clock
wise until panic sets
you free

#katyamills



 

Thursday, 21 April 2022

body by sofia

sunshine today and body by sofia. old king charles spaniel pedigree. a hefty gal with heavy action on the shaggy tail wag and plenty of bark. only bites in service to ye olde belly at mealtime. she comes up to our harley without any fear of the pipes. likely dampened by the hardness of hearing. eye level where tire meets spoke. daddy calling out with care at the tip of the cane  #katyamills

Wednesday, 20 April 2022

april 20

the roosters the dogs the cats
toll the time
they fight for their lives
we get into our wheels we
run to our hearts 
content

#katyamills

Tuesday, 19 April 2022

Biltmore 1946

the sun sets on the Tahoe Biltmore 

another hotel casino shuttered in Crystal Bay, Nevada

please look out for Mary 

the cabaret dancer from the Aspen Room who 

lost her life on Mount Rose Highway

her restless spirit wanders

   

#katyamills

 


Saturday, 16 April 2022

hostile takeover

resting in a meadow 
on a day only god could cook up 
the poorest being on earth
became the wealthiest man 
alive 


#katyamills

gatekeeperz

we wait under a spotlight

identification cards belly up on the table 

electroshock cardiograms register nothing 

reading this gatekeeper's addled heart

and mind


our boots have steel toes

we know our damn rights


#katyamills


low key in love

drawn at the reach of the sun 
high off a glance from the full pink moon we were
low key in love
mid december south 
of mars

#katyamills


Friday, 15 April 2022

good friday

we decided on mint chip
made from almonds

we licked our feelings off the spoon 
the silver reflected
a pink full 
moon

we low key felt good
friday

#katyamills

ok.friday

some own

some rent or cannot

rent they have no 

home. they do not own they 

are not owned 

the libraries the squares

the public places

the community 

the world is

home 


#katyamills

Monday, 11 April 2022

april

a dynamic and fogcutting roast 

followed organic wheat toast

into the belly of one nation

under god. indivisible. with liberty 

and justice 4 some if not

all      #katyamills