film noir star

rain licking the drainpipes 

teasing the window glass

like a young lass

film noir star 

throwing shade ona honeymoon killing spree  

in nineteen fifty-three

#katyamills

February

memories of you 

swim through

the time has run

it's all gone white and black

of the thousand colors 

in this palette

fifty two are shades 

of blue

#katyamills

double fun

he had a day off and took us bowling. none of us were any good which made for great silliness. in my mind it was always a birthday if we went bowling because we didn't usually go unless it was. so having him there was a doubly. #katyamills

tahoe. north shore

at the waters edge 

snowball burns the palm of my hand 

for you. a bird in your bright coat 

winged lashes 

a blue memory hits me 

like the lake between 

the eyes

#katyamills

your last day in the sun 

we played in the yard

then god took you and god

it was hard

#katyamills

life of ADHD

the morning ruined with rushing

body heat battling the cold you walk to the train 

blood in your face 

blushing

misanthropic for a moment

guessing you will be admonished 

by your superiors

yet when the clock strikes

you are there victorious

out of breath. no worse 

for the wear

#katyamills

making it

You must you must you must and I will I will I will I cannot any longer hold back  and who am I who? Oh this is the way they talk when making love. [Sibling puts on noise cancelers on other side of the wall].      #katyamills

death of a burr grinder

four am

under the halogen 

ten years my trusted companion

your gears wound down to naught

surprised i was 

feeling so sudden sad 

realizing you gave us

all you had

and all you got i

almost cried beside

the lonely coffee

pot

#katyamills

a fair reading

i came to pronounce 

my poems X

in their cherry wood reading rooms

expecting to be trounced by ivy

crests and emblems

Windsor knots on throats

death rays of stuffy condescension

slanting sigils of wealth and power

by and by 

my imagination proved wrong

like goats in fields

they did devour 

every word

#katyamills

oysters rockefeller

there was no costume 

could conceal the ill intent

of a scoundrel turned politician

pressuring with influence money and threats 

a capitalist play to sell the brand

behind the ego and eat oysters Rock

cooked off the backs 

of the workers

#katyamills 

last kopeck

One sent him postcards while traveling the world. Another doing meaningful work and being paid handsomely for it. This one celebrated a newborn baby. Where was he in life? Nights at the bar, dropping his last kopeck. Then at his desk writing furious without any promises.    #katyamills

music made of words

this music limitless

made of words

body in park. facing screen 

IP address in the dark

could be Abilene

could be Lourdes

spirit in overdrive

knows no death

on a quest to uplift

any sorry soul's breath

and in so doing 

my own

#katyamills

accomplice

abstruse

the way he called out 

in the fog 

manipulating flashes

with his mobile

baying at the edge of a cranberry

bog

my gut cried: disappear!

into the liquid air

but like a dumb magnet 

i remained

shackled now. accomplice

2 murder

#katyamills

 heavy metal

something in him attracted 

me like a magnet

#Navalny

This post dedicated to a rare man to sacrifice his own life to show the world that you must stand up against those who wish to silence you. "Founder of the Anti-Corruption Foundation, leader of the Russia of the Future party". my love to your family and children. who will hold Putin accountable for the death of the champion of the people? karma? fate? though your life has been snuffed your spirit can never be silenced. the spirit lives on. rest now, dearest Alexey.   #katyamills

digital hearts

digital hearts
printed on a tower
reminiscing on loves past
for an hour


they were done with wanting
lost many a morning cold rushing to get it
all you think you need until
you know you in the weeds needing
more


wanting can be different
to work harder
helping some
one

#katyamills

sign

the sun rays made of

your fingers

the study hall quiet save a clock arm
tapping. save a pencil strikes
the oak floor
you were signing
the clouds were parting i
wanted to learn how to talk to you in the
silence save a voice through wobbly
windows calls out 2
a friend

#katyamills

undercover

they were posted at a rest stop off of the highway. casually smoking tobacco in conversation. two middle-aged Chines-American men blending in with bleary-eyed truck drivers. anytime a sedan matching the color and make pulled into a spot, one would nudge the other and they would do a performative piece of cat and mouse. she was stretching her arms and waiting for her friends to get back to the car when she sensed it. she turned fully around and several yards away caught the guy staring directly at her. 

 #katyamills

the last word

 she sunk

to the bottom

of a bottle

like a stone

alcoholic

skipped a gen

and rocked her

she took her licks

and got back up

and had the last

word

#katyamills

free radical

Reno

surrounded by players

on a Saturday night

he was highly reactive

a free radical 

over his heart

with love unparalleled

she placed her painted hand

to quell the impending

conflict

#katyamills

Union Square

the brave one diplomatically took seeds from our hands before we tossed them. a bustling afternoon in Union Square. we stumbled around the language barrier. after 15 years apart it's not hard to say i love you. a truck coughed up exhaust and a hundred pigeons abruptly took wing and encircled the square three times like paranormal.  #katyamills

year of the dragon

the dragon
12 months to take it all down
with fire. agony. loss
ire


a smoky sun
heralds renewal
tabula rasa


all the hearts given
abundance

#katyamills

twist

they #twisted

avoiding the steam blast

early cat on the counter

beans in the grinder

soon they would be battling the winter

body heat and wool hats

scanning for black ice as they rushed

to the train to meet you

arms around the waist

kiss on the neck

#katyamills

soft report

soft reports of hard news 

dripping out the clock radio

feels like a ruse 

spoon tolling the ceramic i

hyperfocus on this art

the sun behind endless clouds 

casts the land in an even light

the will is honest if not proud

inscribing the theft of

my heart

#katyamills

reclamation of rhythms

I was upset. Unbalanced. You’re as moody as I am, she told me, and I’m bipolar. Have you thought about medication? All I wanted was to get out of here, and for a fast and uncomplicated transition. No submerging into my own introversions. No dizzying intoxications. Minimal stress and panic. Once settled I could go back to being unsettled. I tried to cherish the morning. I tried to read a book. I offered to watch over the kids of divorced parents next door. I tried and failed. Someone wanted my heart. To consume it. Jagged rocks ahead in the mist. She told me, you have no control over your life. She’s right. I don’t know how to say no. I drop everything important to me for nothing. Why? I have lost any cadence. I am in a sorry state. And this is why I am heading for the dead center of the city in the north where, inside its industrial rhythms, my own I may reclaim. 

by  #katyamills from [July 14, 1998] journals

un.fashion

fashion or unfashionable it came from you. how you walk how you talk how you write how you sketch how you skate how you run how you teach how you fight how you give how you help how you see how you feel how you heal how you deal. the heist is 4 losers. be you. be real.  #katyamills

sunday am

sunday morning

all the protest

can momentarily rest

as we lie around in jammies

drink in all what is and not

the tea steeped and

hot

#katyamills

frontier made of palms

 the arc of a thousand suns

made of time stamped with light

the arc of tears over cheeks runs

from the sight

one day you fashioned a frontier

made of emphatic palms 

lit up like faces of full moons

which no one dared

cross

#katyamills

arc of a thousand suns

anyone can hustle. identify what is it you want. go after it unceremoniously. you will be pushed around prodded and disbelieved across the arc of a thousand suns. don't let anything or anyone stop you. it won't be pretty or anything like the movies.  #katyamills

February 1

There was a freedom in being chained to the good routine. good meaning helped you align with a purpose, be your best self, and contribute to society in a way that society could benefit by your brief existence on earth.   #katyamills