olive

farmed and milled

stabbed with a pitch an

dropped in your gin

resilient

self-contained

closing my eyes i taste the earth

in you the hunger of an arid

land everyone wrote

off

like me and you like

me and 

you

#katyamills

picture this

the flanks of chalk made colorful clouds 

now they could see her feelings

on the blackboard. still

nobody could know what really happened 

to her 4 telling the truth was

against the rules in a world of cream

pies and blue skies  

she took the white soldiers 

and broke them   #katyamills

com.rad.ery

we met in the deep night of our despair

like candles we cast some wavering 

unpredictable glow over the darkness 

our monsters walking the walls we knew 

we could not last 

our energy burning hot 

guarded close to the heart 

so we talked until our tears dried

our pain shared pushed round by the wind

then in that hopeless place we made a pact

sincere and fought like hell   #katyamills

america today

heavy metals

oils

market forces

labor and currency

diverse

eclipsing authority

churches

monarchies

system proof seeking

freedom

you cannot live

unless you give her

your all

#katyamills

the news

like soda and red meat and cigarettes and amphetamines and downers and painkillers they swore off the news. now they have no idea what's going on and it's the best thing that never happened

worlds like poems

some will be clear and bright 

and calm others

hot messy dangerous some 

will endure others gone in an instant

collective memory keeps them alive

like poems worlds begin

and end  #katyamills

july. heated love

i cannot slacken the pace 

without work i am nothing

she said filling out the unemployment forms 

gulping polish vodka. an easy forgotten sense of safety 

danced toe to heel in the darkest corner of the bar

he lit the newport @ the edge of her lip and

with hopes of having her

played therapist   

#katyamills

aeternus

in this life 

timed to expire

you gave me

eternity

#katyamills

423am

run on 4 hours sleep

ice cream for breakfast wash

it down with house coffee they

dont paint a great face they wont

talk too much smack they aint 

buttoned up in the finest fabrics 

they just work hard a long day

ahead and they mean it 

sincerely   #katyamills

fiasco

its serious

she been seeing things again 

someone got roped into a fiasco

someone needs saving

she tells him but he dont believe

hes looking for an angle 

a tenderness to attack he 

wants to start a fight

playfully

#katyamills

yarn

im a yarn ball rolling

under the door and out into the sun 

im less complicated 

they only need me when its cold im

less arrogant than u see i dont

know nothin i got holes in me cuz 

im unlearnin stuff  

#katyamills

NOREASTER

over the blast of the nor'easter

he yelled give er a little gas!

the panting dog of a truck 

fired up she clawed the wheel

he pushed with all of his might

defrosting in the booth 

of a diner a half hour later

they laughed and laughed 

and laughed   #katyamills

tēotha

on the tongue

sense of time and place and mood

and position dissolved

one matter arose like a tithe 

to settle a turbulent spirit

they took the deepest breath

and had it out    

#katyamills

 

bastille

i stir the dregs

with boiled water and write 

simple lines expressin

how it feels to be

alive

#katyamills

look

the sunflowers drink like you drink

she said filling up the vase

again. she rearranged them so they heads

looked all around the room

missing nothing

#katyamills

 

thought

after all kinds of sophistry

they finally read something honest

in a world detoured from books

they had just about given up 

themselves 

they thought wrong they

caved they pushed the tablet into the portal 

surgically wired into they chest

where the heart once 

resided   #katyamills

diamond

life's not been easy

may get harder 

hold on and take your time

stay in your truth

don't let them dictate

be the diamond 

sparkle

#katyamills

twenty twenty (one)

the old world on tv looks like fiction

but it was so damn real

the angels the devils alternately saving 

terrorizing souls. the greatest angels are devils

disguised. beneath their wings

a million lives of quiet desperation nothings

changed   #katyamills

some

fire in the ocean 

color in the sky

independence 4 

some. the rest

forced to the ground

eat dirt. i. what i

have i like to give

so they. they

can taste some

too  #katyamills

cacao

sometimes it's 

4th of july in my mind i

got more than i bargained for. god gave life

wash it down with milk

amped up from a colorless

granular primordial

base   #katyamills

home

you wanted to be someone 

you could be anything you

could be someone you could 

be yourself   #katyamills

been so long

oh the dawn when all thats wrong

in the world made right

the light come even into the sky

i could stay with you here for ever

and ever. been so long since it rained i

think im gonna cry  #katyamills

mile 10

they found the old locomotive stuck  

ina dreary railyard 

ten miles from country meadows

arranged some flowers in 

her smoke stack rang her passenger 

bell a couple times on a prayer

she might live again

#katyamills

smile of smiles

the fight of fights 

like it never gonna end

furniture trembling

the kids with fingers 

in ears 

then

the smile of smiles

rose from the east

they ran to the windowsill

drunk off oblivion

#katyamills

0

writing verses

sleep. black liner circles

the eyes

the one who sings

cannot speak

everyone come to the center

soft body contact

the lyrics

the breath 

the hearts

the beat  

#katyamills

live

death was

weightlessness

unpacking all 

the bad karma you 

accumulated against 

the good

life was juicy

a study in animation

test flight of the soul  

not to demonize

dying 

#katyamills

music.a

when the pulse is heavy and slow

when you could sleep a million years

thoughts cannot find a flow 

too tired for tears. let the music 

touch you   #katyamills

red tail

alone at the end of the day

eyes weakened by screens

lunging at air like a bull i

was visited by a red-tail hawk

he gave me the vision i 

thought i had lost  

#katyamills

life in slo.mo

oil on the chain balance the wheels 

riding they bike round town real slow 

the day long timing the lights just right

you see memories of poverty not all

bad the simple things all 

they had   #katyamills

deseo

breaks away like a tormented soul 

within the heart of a wild horse i

talk to it carefully like a child

honestly. you cannot have we 

cannot afford it. here. come with me 

let's go outside and run. maybe 

make friends. we cannot

have and better without

#katyamills

mi gatos

hiding under blankets

listen to momma liquefy

oats ice bananas 

green and brown eyes with 

coffee spaced out super

perdidos obsessed by 

birds   #katyamills

safeways

some beet faced drunk knocked

produce off the stand

dodging shadows stepped 

on garlic cloves 

the masks had just come off

that sound

the flesh breaking under 

paper skins

you paid me a compliment

 i - i wasnt sure i 

could take it   #katyamills

they (don't) care

they don't care

what you may think or say or

feel. find something you love

put your heart in it and 

never give up

#katyamills

no.20

like a secret 

in the nucleus 

of the yolk

of the eye

we defy analytics

science

religion

sharpened by 

the guarantee of 

annihilation

unwilling 

to be dulled

by screens

technology or

tradition

#katyamills

cat and bird

blondy and the black cat 

brothers contemplative for hours 

on this high balcony

only a mouth

full of feathers

will end the procession 

of cans

#katyamills

some kids

like frozen planets they 

lived long in darkness with space

they fell into orbit waiting

for the sun to inhabit 

they potential. centuries

away long since learned the art of solitude

to free up they water

and colors

#katyamills

(grow) up

when dead broke the bills 

get big and ferocious they yell at you 

late @ night cant get no sleep

growing up u discover u

your own problem now 

billy

#katyamills

miscast

growing up in new england they

was a gale wind pushing 

they voice through cracks in the mortar

wailing. no such tolerance

like everyone pulled together for 

all kinds of weather 

you got miscast who 

would fight for you? thrown on stage 

good luck remembering 

your lines     #katyamills

heavy metals

dissociative

staring at the wall again

they turned up the volume

zero calorie heavy 

metals to defend against they

demons  

#katyamills

put ups from jellybean

on a day we cant get no 

breaks you gave me ups 

my jellybean. growin up got only

put downs. bass without

treble you gave 

me ups when i most 

needed  #katyamills

Bukowski's wife

she waited for him to get that out of his system

being loved being celebrated by the world

for his poems. finally. all the other women came and went

she could just as easily have felt scorned she

coulda chose not to be born she

got brave and some say stupid she loved him

for the rest of his days  #katyamills

vox perdu

woke up without her

devastated. how they gonna make it?

not knowing sign

or nothin

she had boxed up her songs

folded the arms and legs of little sayings

tongue in cheek

only a regimen of herbal tea

gratitude and salt water gargles would

bring her back

perdu

#katyamills

loner

they called you a loner they

thought of you 

weak

every day of the week god

given to seek

solitude  

made mainstream look 

shady

#katyamills

pack of cigs

say you went from a pack a day to nil
traded away the shit you no longer
need dull knives old clothes
the speed. diabetes wanted your
eyes. smoke breaks upcycled into meditation
shadows given the light treatment they
could not take your vision

#katyamills

pen.cil

took the words from the margins

boiled them down and drank they

essence. lead from the pencil

kinda killed but worth every 

swallow   #katyamills

before life

before life

they found refuge in film and music and books

withdrawn from the world

dreaming

scared

when they awoke

living became the premier

entertainment

#katyamills

spell of ablation

they cast a spell 2 undo

all the pretense 

made of crushed pearl

okinawa tea

unrelenting pressure 

earth wind and

sea

#katyamills

dis.cords

moving towards 

on phones with cords we 

wanna be okay but we 

not

mobile hotspots 

hooked up with all the bars

then out of touch 

again. traveling up the stitchwork 

of our scars

umbilical we anticipate 

gettin cut

#katyamills

4:44

the call came in at 444 

half the way out the door they

answered in a rainbow frame of mind

happier than hell 4 the big gruff voice

underneath it all someone cared 

they still cursed him out

for insulting they friend

he apologized from the top of cloud 

nine   #katyamills

0400 yum

shell station 

0400 hours in my

army green tights 

friday morning 

got you laughing @ the coffee island

sipping machine 

made hot chocolate 

in slippers humming 

yummmmm

#katyamills

like pressure makes diamonds

up all night i remember us

survival turns seconds into minutes

sealed inside like pressure creates 

an equilibrium by which we

can roll. time got nothing on us

the city still and quiet makes

diamonds. we meet in the park after

dawn   #katyamills

single mom

looking for meaning

cooking and cleaning

down to protect this

fighting off xxxxx's 

smile may be forced 

4 you and your

cameras

#katyamills

she.they.we.he.you

for hours 

she could not fall asleep 

he trying to keep his brother off

the streets we going to work every day they 

take time to truly listen you 

got something to say? 

what time what? 

say it!

#katyamills

all of this is hard

you gotta fight for what
you believe in


anything you don't fight 4
probably ain't worth much

anyway   #katyamills

heartbreakers

walked a rocky path into a river they

got swept away

left a part of her behind in

the broken clay 

artifact of those games

we all play heartbreakers 

of the world unite and 

take over  

#katyamills

sounds like bees

like indy cars life 

engine buzzing 

flies by

checkered flags 

means your through

hopefully they made it

2 the finish line

too

the girlfriend 

the wreaths

cow milk

4 you

 

#katyamills

years of not

summer approaches 

the road is hot

to love once again 

after years of 

not

#katyamills

so damn sugar

i fall super behind i

take a hundred breaths 

gotta be kind 

to my poor sodden 

mind. battle the ants 4 

sugar i won't say sorry 

for being damn

sweet 

#katyamills

delorean

taken by an idea you

went for mass production

fame and fortune @ a cost unforeseen 

your kids all grown up now

redline the concept car

spread the gull wings 

fly it offa cliff to break with 

the waves

#katyamills

night and day

between night

and day there are 

infinite expressions 

of light. being nonbinary 

is equally intricate

and irrefutable 

 #katyamills

cross

when the sun hit the sky

the disturbance had washed out

they body and mind 

a formerly great splash

of paint. how peaceful life

again had become

when the sun genuflect

met and crossed the sea 

#katyamills

alameda again

man with a pipe of tobacco paces 

in his own head. isis flops 

on her back undeterred by cars and sarah's 

slovak commands plays

dead    #katyamills

alt version...

old man nurses a pipe of tobacco

paces the sidewalk slow

black vest and chain he strikes a dead stop

composing the thoughts in his head

where anyone would love

to compose. isis flops on her back

undeterred by cars and sarahs slovak commands

tongue out plays dead

too

seattle revisited

walking wide awake eyes 

down the blue eyeliner jumping like a heartbeat

on the blonde valet 

the architecture lopes to the water's edge 

in this uphill town

time for café au lait

feels like rain again

the ships they head

to sea

#katyamills

closer to nirvana

no makeup no facelift

the lead singer at the beggars 

banquet crashes into us all

disrupting our moral patagonia

sourced fiber how dare you?

i am closer to nirvana 

may as well be 1989 here 

in olympia nothings changed 

#katyamills

avo.cado

woven like maseratis 

in and out the lanes 

giving no fucks we 

under the avocado tree 

made love slept 

well 

#katyamills

corazón

the crows fight the wind for me 

and my burrito in this corazón of cloudy misty sea

far from our valley of perpetual 

sunshine where down moods 

cannot anchor

you asked for a kiss

and i gave

#katyamills

bobaheads

tapioca gridlock ina paper straw 

deep in thought dog playing dead ina street

sometimes u gotta suck real hard 

to get free

#katyamills

25

like birds without songs

red arrows 

stitched in the

wing

god 

we are small

we are essential

now

#katyamills

the sea

above the sea

a lonely barn flanked with stables

where horses once hung

their heads

 

the sea cannot be 

contended 

you become a boy

place a flower in my hair 

she thunders she 

outlives us 

all    

#katyamills

Daly City

only the perseverating winds

keep these homes from tumbling 

into the sea. deaf and dumb we stare 

and listen. only your arms

keep me  #katyamills

14

whenever they thought they was

struggling they felt back

to when they really

was

no money

no home no real

friends around

anymore

isolated by they world

the chaos in they

head

the hard water

softens when super

aware

#katyamills

wheat and chaff

in opposition to the world

while we sleep 

like a philosopher devoted

2 make sense of it all

 our dreams they

separate the wheat 

from the chaff 

#katyamills

cross current

news of the conception 

of your second child fights for celebration 

against the prevailing tide

the very day she died

#katyamills

mount shasta

like another world
we had been waiting for
you appeared

elusive

snow-capped

hiding behind clouds

dreamy

closer and closer we

became

#katyamills

be with

in a city
for the first time you
don't have to do nothing
but be with
walk around and explore
leave your damn phone
at home

#katyamills

olympia reverb

we got off the sleater-kinney avenue
exit my friend joking would you
sleep with a riot girl?

if i could sleep with a concept i probably would
does that sound desperate?

outside a veteran on an insult parade
badgered a dope fiend using a wheelchair
ready to kill rock stars

 #katyamills

moms

saturday night 

almost moms day

six pack of tacos to go 

on northgate we froze

cars collided

 BLAM! 

one stepped out behind 

an air bag

arm sliced 

i gave my shirt

4 a tourniquet

everyone thinking 

about moms how

we wouldn't even be here 

without them

#katyamills

OFA

i wanna make
more memories
can only pick up
the ones we had

dearest Ofa

after breaking down
i get up. you would want me
to 

be strong
and
do the good
work

#katyamills

tēlecine

all patches leather sound and
symbol - Redding, California -
an entire crew of Mongols blasted past us
in pairs lone wolf edging the breakdown
lane.  i got so excited i
don't know why?

 i guess them tēlecine ghosts
found a way to cross
over  #katyamills

hotel 50

we stand together

midway through life

a social distance from the muddy

banks with tablets coloring

an endless supply of rain

the hotel carpet prints a map 

we refuse to follow 

on fumes of espresso

we live on endless supply 

of dreams

#katyamills

what the whip poor will

1:11am. macrobid wages war 

in the gut. i wake startled

eyes bloodshot hair reaching up and back

a victoria crowned pigeon i 

audit yesterday. submit my findings 2

the memory bank and retire at dawn 

floating prayers off the balcony

to my dear colleague in 

the ICU

#katyamills

come as you went

oh sky of monster clouds and glass

hillsides vert from rain. you produced the sound

we follow south to where it ends and

underneath the bridge oh sullen

aberdeen    #katyamills

@ the market

proprietors of fish

walk the stones in aprons

hagglin with grease pens rumblin

over flavor skin and locale. onlookers teeth

pull apart the connective tissue

unable to satisfy the hunger

they walk away

the amity of the vendors

not 100% lost to them

#katyamills

portland or

creatures of sacramento 

in this moody leaden town 

pining for words we were

sun salutations in line 

across from new orleans donuts 

swept off to pee before we could enter 

the incomparable city 

of books

#katyamills

olympia wa

stopped in olympia late

afternoon tank of gas bottoming out

rusty dome of the capital 

crested the tree line

the road climbed then descended

to a main drag of weathered storefronts 

early not late model 

memories 

we fell a little in love 

#katyamills

bs got cut

all the gods

descending from the sky

live as vagabonds

cutting bs with a blade 

tangential 2 the skin

carve they names

from the outside 

in   #katyamills

uti

blood in the urine they

thought they may

die 1.4 liters kombucha

to kill a uti. how come death  

did not sound so terrible 

anymore?

#katyamills

olive.r

submerged in vodka fallen

ona plastic sword 

driven

miasma of garlic

and capers they 

brokered a deal for 

sanity

all the 

colored lights whirling 

around this fishbowl 

carnival some called

life

 #katyamills

doomscrolling

the birds gave up 

stopped singing they

mulled about their nests 

feathered up and tucked

in. lost in a doomscroll

from hell my phone 

was chirping about

something i friendless

tuned out 

#katyamills

cat on a cold sushi roll

 i was stretching my wrist out

twirling the cat on the sushi roll

round and round and round

a random day off. the work

was slowly killing me one screen

at a time. you told me when

you closed your eyes and listened

to me typing you thought of all the

crazy shit must be going through

my mind #katyamills

seattle. early spring

glass rises up from the waterfront and you and me

we are specks. i am drawn to higher ground with recollections of cities i've known

we stop for a breath looking down on the ships in the sound  

your hair the color mermaid i grab your hand. i must not let go

you yearn to return to the sea       #katyamills

theatrical

life will always be a tragedy will

always be a comedy. may it be the most dramatic 

breathless thing you've ever known 

and go down fighting

#katyamills

heart out

life is a one way 

ticket outta

town - so - we may as well live

from the heart

out

#katyamills

the book nobody read

the book nobody read lived in a cell inside they head
the defense for freedom argued nobody will be harmed
but the words got in the way     #katyamills

6am

a murder of crows landed 

in the birch south of the second 

story window. we crouched 

like tigers aperture wide with 

teeth. i'm dead

#katyamills

lost in cityscapes

in between dreams i had gone for a pee

then fell back under

my arm wrapped around you

palm pressed into your belly

white

i found myself again lost in cityscapes 

only this time your 

cat eyes beside me softened 

the searching

rain

#katyamills

death of a publisher

without you

we keep writing

on a spare wheel empty tank 

stormy night without a windshield 

broken headlight

no spare change in enemy

territory

#katyamills

retail paradise

how i fight 

the urge to overspend

depositing myself in retail 

paradise how very

unremarkable

#katyamills

q.diff

so you like 

slow cars 

and silence 

living alone

no tv

no kids

so you got
strong meds

no voices no 

press 

so you got 

somethin 2 

say what 

is it?

#katyamills

42121

dawn

coffee and

classical music 

i must be thoughtless

dreaming

for worlds come

into view

#katyamills

joie de vivre

on the roughest days they

turned up the radio 

hoping joie de vivre might 

rub off. the no knock warrants of mood 

and memory 

how lucky

to be alive

#katyamills

life after cancel

long days on the beach

picking fights with invertebrates 

up and down like a sandpiper

marking the shoreline

erased by the tides

#katyamills

levee road

the heat threatening 

shopping carts pushed

into the canal geese 

hissing we walk the levee

fortified in 1850 after 

the last great flood now

become a road and 

we don't care we

don't scare

#katyamills

geolocation

out from under

hundreds of miles of cassette tape

and wires. useless and bound by 

an ethos of noninclusivity they

patched it together they

sang they own wobbly

song til someone 

came around

#katyamills

immersion

composing worlds in solitude

what a way of seeing something missing

bringing into being what

you seeing

they can go there 

all who belong

#katyamills

the prince is dead

beholden to the union jack they

cried the prince is dead! 

nobody could recall the day

a child was born with a royal

stake. the screenagers in great piety  

dropped phones and made a vape tornado 

to celebrate the deceased 

the end of life leased

#katyamills

b.rex.it

in the wake of the British exit

and covid lockdown Belfast began to immolate

rocks and petrol bombs the 

working class weapons

a few hundred years 

ago we dumped their tea in protest

of tariffs we could not get the redcoats to

to leave

#katyamills

sarah

mineral green her eyes

the color of the river

Nile. over middle earth 

to the sea she moved 

the world in sultry 

malachite

#katyamills

once upon a time in april

we got free phones free

shots in the arms waiting 

in lines. we got sun rays we got fools 

days without showers we

got flowers   #katyamills

off the coast of friendship

we could tell the future

by the birds gone quiet

a change in the winds

our energy jumped

full of dread we shouted out!

like we gonna perish

then the storm subsided

left our faces wet and salty

lush and flush 4 the sunshine

#katyamills

cathe.dral

solitary horn opens the cathedral

8am. stained glass dove etched

in the dome. weary-eyed bishop

golden marked robes. you can't have 

communion if you ain't a saint and 

who wants to be anyway

#katyamills

faith.less

known more 

4 the absence of faith

than faith

they followed a feeling

bought a taco

4 a hungry

kid

#katyamills

blanco y

grew up white ina world 

where nobody hurt you like 

you hurt yourself where if you

got any color and spirit you 

got beat down now how can it be 

any wonder in the world 

today white is unpopular 

distrusted despised? 

#katyamills

fiches

laserfiching with blueprints 

they mapped out grand plans

thanking all gods

they was trans

#katyamills

slow mo

tail end of the nightmare pandemic

an extended slow mo hug was greater

than any antidepressant stronger than

any drug    #katyamills

shift.ing

life once was song 

created and produced by crickets

ina full throated silence

now 

flying down a dirt road at dusk 

consumed with emotion 

she demands 

we find another

gear

#katyamills

lover girl boy

she choreographed the words

by heart channeled to the lips
conducted by the tongue she
wanted him he wanted
her. the earth shook the
ground beneath cut up into zigzags they
held their ground they
held hands across the divide
and made the world
whole

#katyamills

free the ever given

endless tugboats and an egyptian

full moon high tide

could not dislodge the floating 

skyscraper lost its bearings in a sandstorm

blocking the artery

giving the world a stroke

#katyamills

static pop

the more involved 

they was the harder 

2 disconnect. when tugged upon 

ina loving direction they

wires uncrossed 

the sparks

how they

fly

        x

x

   x

           x

      x

#katyamills

re.set deux

abandoned they car by golden
arches campers panhandlers
broke up a field of mustard they
kept a journal and the basics
nothing much. feckless wasted burnt
off they last sawbuck on god knows
what. chin up. dodgin reality
the life of the broke woke 

and idle

#katyamills

navel (gaze)

contemplative 

2 the tune of a minor threat horn section

stopping traffic

they relived the days they 

were inseparable

#katyamills

pre.sent

you 

are when you are you

are not when

you are 

not

#katyamills

up from the downtrodden (cover reveal)

SaWaDiKa!

they took no umbrage

amidst another tumultuous attempted overthrow 

born under the lights they faced a hundred million semi-happy believers

palms together they smiled without 

a smile

#katyamills

c.overt

covert

resistance turned

overt in the year of got nothing

to lose

#katyamills

true crime

rolling thoughtful eyes

a milky soporific

tea leaves discarded in an angry

drain.  too long i let it steep too long. i'm sorry

a confession

the weapon

time

#katyamills

re.set

the roads still glistening with dew they 

carved a 180 @ the 5432 

café. a pour over black no creamer

for the dreamer 

#katyamills

the hundred

like a storm cloud 

both - and + charged 

a hundred days they 

venture until

spent

#katyamills

 

1984

you tore into us

drunk again

one of your moods 

unpredictable 

charged 

i tried to make 

myself small i

stood out like a cherry 

on a sea of whipped 

cream

#katyamills

deep cut no.2

life like 

a switchblade 

it can be used 

against you

#katyamills

o.zone

in the ozone

some choose some are chosen 

mixing it up with song and dance

others paid to capture 

and serve to witness in silence

the ultraviolet

charade

#katyamills

corner of over and under

born of a lavender haze

inspiration found an untimely death 

at the corner of over and

under

#katyamills

the little things

shadows under bridges under

trains under eyes the postcards they 

got from a distant memory friend 

could lighten they darkest 

mood

   

#katyamills

return of the ghost of green eyes

ona street confronted 

by the ghost of green eyes

talks to them feeling they 

pain 

knows how to hiss forgot 

how to love

got some crumbs

for you here and some

time 

crying now? 

whatsoever 4 

the ghost of green

eyes they remember 

this was 

forbidden

Dallas

bronzed with nails of gold

sick of waiting on hold 

she threw her hair back 

gotta jump on her '89 Peugeot 

to Dallas. intercepting lines with a decadent hum

intermittence of back lit squares

mascara and eyeliner bold

triumphant she got in on the other

side and out of the cold

    

#katyamills

scrambled march

on zoom we 

were less than full power

like degrees of forests 

set to the tenth april 

shower

#katyamills

aces

when the magic dried up the

onlookers moved 

on 

the suits 

jacks and queens in diamonds

the spades and lonely hearts

the kings

leaving them

only true 

aces

#katyamills

2021 royal

royal in a dollar store 

sucking the life out a green apple 

lollipop coupled with angst

the dyed hair the 

cell phone stare the resignation 

of the throne. the press stalks

with bloody mary

#katyamills

green and blue days

the whippoorwill calls and calls

into the silence. no one answers 

what once they shared

now severed beyond 

repair

#katyamills

back.ward

yes freedom also means you have the right to believe anything no matter how patently false unequivocally backwards and unceremoniously walk away from common sense and wisdom to devote your entire being to the pursuit of social injustice and economic inequality. you live with yourself. 

current z

the boy made worlds

where they could live

the girl commanded the currents

to lean back 

not take no one

too far out where they 

would or could

get hurt 

#katyamills

update

i got a promotion this week -- Clinical Director -- at tpcp.org... excited to make a greater impact for our community ... listening and speaking from the heart ... helping my team of outpatient case workers support our people out in South Natomas and North Highlands ... life is more and more challenging on the streets ... what with mental illness and socioeconomic challenges ... cultural/racial injustices. i ask myself every day: what more can i do to help? at least i have a small platform and some skills to offer. 8 years clean off the hard stuff. what with the poetry, the books, my friends, as a therapist, life keeps getting more and more exciting.

4 keeps

the days unsparingly dull 

then when they lay down to rest 

the dreams like a thriller

replete with all the life they could not have 

encouraged to be somebodys

project dependent and broken they 

sometimes forgot 

the best about them

self what was for keeps

#katyamills

af.fluence

they spirit so affluent 

the gold diggers counted 

they ghosts

#katyamills

bad reel

some introductions fizzle

from the start like a film with award winning acting cinematography and stunts

a musical score to die for  

yet the screenplay shallow piss

poor. a non event a bad

reel

#katyamills

lying

(remix of dys.phoria)

soft thin and lying against
a negative space

the air cool industrial alive

4 a moment we don’t have to care

how strange

secret messages penned by the rain

upon leaded glass

in a blanket on your couch
electric the infinite tenderness

#katyamills

eu.phoria

the world

whether or not you can keep up with her

provides random bursts

of euphoria

to live there a second longer

to live there to

live

#katyamills

emo al.so

negotiating the hill

to your home the emo

set a dangerous 

tone like an alto circling

a tenor who felt dead

alone in a cosmos 

the shy of heart never

known

#katyamills

k.ept

the left kept charging the right

kept charging the rain kept washing away

society and unrest

an honest condition

you kept coming and they

kept pushing 

away     #katyamills

@ the mall

divergent they
struck out for the mall
one tall the other small
hot topix for septum rings
starry eyes
jewelers bling. they
hearts got pierced where they wanted
without tears without
a flame the long and hard
adieu they understood
they were the
same

#katyamills

the one

momma brought them 

home

searching for they

name brushing

they soft and storied 

coat round they 

long and emerald

eyes

#katyamills

fluence

under the influence

a stubborn yellow light

in a ramshackle hollow

breakin the tight weave

of farmland a scribbler

may do they best work 

#katyamills

notes from a cardboard box

two story high 

imagination roams cream 

walls french vanilla

sky. entresol the cats

survey new lands 

from a cardboard 

box we have 

somehow

arrived

#katyamills

killing on 43rd ave

they sweep and mop they 

stock shelves they 

ring you up at the register they

deal with all american 

attitude. we call it the graveyard

shift for good reason last

week they left one to bleed

out for some 

change. god rest your very

soul

#katyamills

tuned out

twenty one suns 

one and twenty years 

into the so-called twenty first century 

none of the calculations 

had any true significance when 

you tuned the holy roman

empire out 

#katyamills

journey into the light

there there 

dry your eyes

the darkness drains from the sky

see how you were so certain?

so terrified 

the thoughts how they

lied

#katyamills

mach.ines

they would not let machines

take from life 

the mystery

the work 

that made them

honest

#katyamills

cassis

they found her 

still alive they loved her

they promised 

hi def pixels for eyes

cold brew coffee for drive

she prayed for a vertically 

integrated chassis they

dubbed her

cassis

#katyamills

hi.story

they never stopped 

scrubbing one could see 

their reflection in the silver

 nothing else. imagine centuries  

passing that off 4 

reality

#katyamills

off note

the dissonance caused by all 

the off notes touched a hundred 

thousand hearts who turned 

the radio up and swore 

someone finally got them 

#katyamills

run over

weightless the body

in flight. carbon monoxide 

swell of heat 

spun up so light the strange 

sound of brakes so late

they cheat 

staring down they 

fall in the winter off the 

wall of metal

sheets 

 #katyamills

book review

 

Katya Mills rated a book liked it My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh

Read My rating: 1 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars[ 3 of 5 stars ]4 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars

Our antiprotagonist gets progressively mired in her chosen selfish sedentary life for a year. Like a life experiment with a careless interest in self-transformation, in NYC, 1999. She lies to her psychiatrist about her use of prescriptions for no apparent reason, as the psychiatrist has no moral or ethical compass to begin with, just a professional hiding behind a lot of jargon and bullshit. Ever met anyone like that? The character closest to real is her best friend Reva yet she is the most annoying and pathetic of them all. Materialistic. Superficial. Zero self-worth. Dependent on guys who use her. They both are. Maybe this is why they are friends. I liked the book, laughed a lot. Some very funny one liners. But not as much as Eileen. Maybe the main character was too sad and jaded. A product of her environment. Maybe it came too close to how life can feel in 21st century America when it's at its worst. When you give up and are rich enough not to have any responsibilities, and you care but not really.