looks

it's never been how

we look that concerns me so much

as can we survive?

but i understand i

light another candle in the

best light i remember you i

will always do what i can

to see you there

#katyamills

apodictic

no time to daydream

like usual when you edged 

into my office

out of sorts and declared 

the strangest thing

it was like someone was 

there... my blood raced 

to believe

after her death 

our dearest comrade

her spirit! 

#katyamills

collide

if we collide

in time and space

i hope it's the best collision

you ever had

#katyamills

1978

five years old i was probably brilliant

by the time i was 25 i didn't know shit 

so i ditched the ocean and naturally threw myself to the wolves

a junky @ 28 i switched coasts

on a handout from my brother we 

both knew i wasn't gonna make it

if i kept on that way  #katyamills

notes from a wip

with hope

anytime i take a peek 

believin i've made it 

like opening the door

to the dryer machine

stuff spills out

on the floor and i know

i'm not done i 

will never be

done

#katyamills

kick no. four thousand and one

she would do anything

to see him smile

even if life demanded 

a kick in the 

teeth  #katyamills

dark.rooms and light

they worked with chemicals 

and film 

ina darkroom they

swallowed several shots 

before work to calm

shakes

the extrication of light

from darkness... 

development

some cannot understand 

what it takes

#katyamills

turn on

when all's quiet 

in my home 

the great amplitude 

of raw energy

like a switch

turns me

on

#katyamills

all you got

they beat the mean streets 

and hard luck faces 

by a big heart a 

penchant for laughter a 

stomach for failure 

ana means for makin 

easy cash and friends

ina forsaken land 

#katyamills

katya to stardusk

dear Stardusk,

these jobs on the old earth

(aft of second sun) they really 

suck your soul thanks 4 

the AI flowers what a surprise

i hope you felt the emoticons

i charged  

orbiting you always 

KatYa 

beholden to the wind

you slammed my bedroom door 

all throughout the night

howled into my ears forced me 

out of bed you blew away 

my style. beholden to the wind 

i am. when they see me 

all shall run  #katyamills

cause.s

in the reprieve of summer
we gathered like birds in the park
for a cause

i donated books to the library

a man with manufactured legs
walked his dog

the trees dying of thirst

in this land

we cannot live without

our causes

 

a great many flock behind 

the ones who stand

in front

#katyamills

al.lure

i lost my voice

miles from shore i

had no choice

the old rage and confusion 

the sadness yes i took the bait

jitterbugs 9 hooks

tore my belly up

i ran the line out to 

its end i clean broke that red devil

flash! in the air

you ain't never gonna

catch me 

again

#katyamills

hungry tummy

we were kids we 

could not see behind our

backs. you headed 4 the duck pond

brought back dinner 

4 the hungry 

tummies

#katyamills

sea.worthy

seaworthy to be

we wore layers upon layers

thick wool caps to be 

landworthy laced our boots tight

to be worthy to be 

we wore our hearts out 

unfurled them off a post

gave them to all 

the elements 

our adversaries 

did not stand 

a chance

#katyamills

i died 4 music

cuttin and pinning wires
while you carve squares 

into the cabinet

the blade breaks clean
under your power
my lips in stereo thanking you

a star thrown
strikes me in the
chest

i died
4 the love of
music

#katyamills

nail polish

my nails grow so fast

they will push you out of bed

they said. you won't even recognize me 

this november unless you feel

light

#katyamills

Hollywood Hills

two lane highway
snake in the forest
take us to the sea


take us to Hollywood
to family with blessings
take us 2 the top of the world
to share a smoke
against sorrows


memories of screenplays
of travels
Egyptian swindlers and
the red-haired boy
the love of winsome
LA sunsets


#katyamills

various shades of green

5 days i polished the temple

with soap water a bristle brush on hands and knees bucket and rag liquefying greens ina blender i could go on like this forever without meat fish dairy sugar bread. painting the walls various shades of green dear god not without coffee

#katyamills

San Luis Obispo

SLO @ dusk

empathy yawns

into the void 

welcome to seasoned vindaloo 

with lamb

apparitions of Zebras

trotted out on our fields

of vision

castle in the clouds

San Simeon

the crimson the society

cool nights and clover

surveying pumpkin farms

october

#katyamills

channel islands

accompanied by gulls

by Santa Barbaras willet 

long-billed fletcher

elegant terns and reddish egret we

shared coffee and song stared

into the morning light  

vrikshasana

upright

full-throated 

laughing

#katyamills

the last wave

down a narrow sandy path checkered with manzanita

to Point Rincon in this sleepy surf town

a memorial of painted rocks for a man who gave his wife

the child she always wanted before drowning

on the last wave. three days we stayed in Carp

churning avocados into guacamole. we are lucky 

llamas truly blessed hoping to meet a descendant of

the Chumash   #katyamills

Big Sur beats

highway 1

eleven hundred miles 

of coast with you 

close
los gatos at home
thumbprints

weaving through 

the mountains

radio and gas stations 

the canyons

salt in our nostrils

kelp tossed like an aside

to the beaches
water pounding sense into 

these rocks 

let's
reach out 

over the cliffs to 

eternity

#katyamills

anarch.y

was gonna cross myself

take something wasn't mine

had the opportunity and 

let it be. before i awoke found

myself reading what i wrote on a stage

touching into the under

blue arm tattoo

dear anarchist dream self 

thank you for coming in 

line after 48 years all 

crosses

#katyamills

enter the ocean

i cannot believe i am
flawless if you told me a million times

the salty breath

crashing into shore 

repeats this notion in my dumb

ears

if you dare not enter the ocean 

headlong you will not drown

neither will you be 

healed 

#katyamills

small by the sea

the ocean swallowed the red sun

whole. you and me tucked behind a blanket

this sandy realm gone twilight i feel 

so small by the sea and it's good

why had we not gone swimming? 

had i forgot... in the body

the memory pulled me up

with a start. the mind 

cannot fathom the sinister   

#katyamills

con respeto

you came from Mexico to work 

you say to make money painting

houses seven days a week no days off

ever? this is why you came

you say. i offer you a doctor pepper

and ask you  - con respeto -

the fumes! have they

gone to your head?

  

#katyamills

van.life

they want you they want you to be someone you not they fantasize no intention on realities you fix them breakfast stare into they soul streamin vids fightin jetstream wide open like the canyons the world is hard and wants you too and took you we have lost

#katyamills 

run on empathy

drained they was

runnin on empathy alone

clothes tattered

eyes red thoughts 

burned black elbows

an knees nicked 

tummy grumbles throat

gurgles breath wheeze

please don't leave 

me we got all 

night don't we?

#katyamills

other.ness

intervals together we

shared the unforgettable 

brevity the building feverish 

the long hours waitin...

years later got our wish

all our days twenty

four seven together we 

could have killed each

other and then...

we did  #katyamills

the 5th try

a hawk fought 4 balance 

over the banks of the river

5 times she spoke 

4 times he did not listen

it was bound 2 be a great 

fall     #katyamills

solution like the ocean

the days could be dizzying

we all got mixed up

it matters

how you put your

self together how fantastic 

to solve oneself 

like so   #katyamills

say if

if you say if 

i was wrong in your

letter of apology

you ain't

sorry

#katyamills

b gen

i gen and then evolved to be gen

life was saturated online

receptive fandoms and such

offline the marble got smaller

and rolled and could only be seen

from a great distance 

vanishing  

#katyamills

gargantuan

unable to think unable 

to speak. mashed and bounced

precisely half ways across the earth

absorbed by some gargantuan feeling

you wrote poems unlike mine 

except they was true. watch 

over me and i over you

#katyamills

MAZE

 HERE ARE SOME 

RECENT REVIEWS 

FOR MY BOOK

Alma Pettersonrated it really liked it
Sep 10, 2021

Amberrated it it was amazing
Sep 02, 2021

Aug 06, 2021Paula Cox rated it it was amazing

I really did enjoy this book. I really disliked the cliff hanger it ended on. Now I have to find the next book to read so i can find out what happened. UGH!

flagLike  · see review

Edenrated it it was amazing
Jun 26, 2021

Lamarrated it it was amazing
Jun 06, 2021

May 17, 2021

GRAND THEFT LIFE

HERE ARE SOME RECENT REVIEWS FOR MY BOOK 


Jessicarated it really liked it
Sep 12, 2021

Sep 10, 2021Paula Cox added it  ·  review of another edition

This seems really familiar. It seems to be like the book Maze I read. It was good. I liked it a lot. Would definitely recommend.

flagLike  · see review

Amandarated it really liked it
Sep 05, 2021

Kristenrated it liked it
Jan 01, 2021

Bianca Bettsrated it it was ok
Nov 17, 2020

Aaron Stroudrated it it was amazing
Nov 08, 2020

Apr 20, 2020Christi Massey rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

Shelves: bought, kindle, finished-giveaways

I really enjoyed the grittiness of this book. Very atmospheric and engaging. Great read!

flag1 like · Unlike  · see review

wild

question everything

and the thoughts running 

wild across the

synapse  #katyamills

made up

laced up our finest boots

eyelashes bold 

made up real fierce we

rolled out with our knapsacks

to the independent 

bookstore  

#katyamills

blow the disparate minds

takes silence   

thought     

space     

feeling

reflection

on all the tragedy

you inflicted and when the time comes 

destroy the very home obliterate the ego 

rebuild it from scratch

and blow the 

disparate 

minds

#katyamills

push flowers

they was pushin daisies  

all around us

swimmin in shark waters

we was. twenty twenty

pandemic and fentanyl i 

got a fightin chance

shoulda pushed flowers 20 years back 

my gratitude runs deep. every blade 

a forest every drop a 

lake every second 

a lifetime

#katyamills

unlikely places

they found intimacy 

in fighting in yelling being

pinned against a wall

deep beneath the ice they 

was yearning  

#katyamills

venmo fugitives

here was okay 

but nothin like nowhere

rummaging through shops 

4 clothes @ war with capitalism

venmo fugitives

we tore through the firewalls

they constructed

bleedin us for pennies

on the other side

laughing

#katyamills

thessalonia

you will not need a platform

a purpose a cell phone you

do not need money or friends 

or water or food you just 

need to pray around

the clock give thanks

and speak truth 

they say  #katyamills

you.rs

i was yours

the cars spinning down the streets

collision with the air 

i was yours and

i was yours until 

being a hood ornament 

became a fuckin

drag   #katyamills

lesser brighter days

the fall after the summer

not unlike immolation 4 the cause

was marked by fiery reds

yellow and orange in

the ones who survived

#katyamills

newlyweds bumper crop

the boy recycled the cans tied 2 the newlyweds 

bumper. used the proceeds 

toward baseball cards climbed

the aqueduct chewing bubble gum 

under a honey moon

#katyamills

C notes

i would not be

some rich emmm F

flat posin with a C note

you could 

not pay me 

enough  #katyamills

any verse

out on the stones

a friday eve with any verse

tremulous voice

tied back sleeves lips 

pursed. all the world let

down her locks 

in the arms of her bonny

brakeman

#katyamills

hurricanes

hailed by two string guitars 

evocative. we touched our scars we 

looked to the stars what 

when you hit shore? we prayed

we prayed 

into the grid you tore and 

the children swore god

damn they 

swore   #katyamills  

wanted

they was wanted 

on any road traveled

east and south and west and north

an unsparing desire 

in some bar 

on any street corner

sleeves rolled up

for a fix

#katyamills 

queen

the winds howled all night

encircling us

candles gave the shadows 

life. we fed her some earth 4 foundation

power lines for voltage 2 highlight the eye

we made up

the queen of all tropical

storms  #katyamills

the great american novel complex

by the time they 

got everything just so

to create 

the paid out pension the

cabin in the mountains

all the friends alerted to they

great american novel

it was too late way too

late  #katyamills

#

in the spirit of comradery

may our fists forever

pound   #katyamills

pink in the paws

summer turned to fall 

barefoot at the gas station

pink in the paw

taking fast food orders

with conjured elation

they found a twenty dollar bill 

in the road engine stalling 

spilled coffee all over the self 

good heavens so 

funny it sad so sad

it funny   #katyamills

case #xxo

the mockups kept you 

sharp what with the coming of the trial

you were so much more 

than a case so much more than just

a file  #katyamills

distant relatives

got by on celebrity bios

in lieu of they own kin they 

kicked off a world tour in lieu of pain

and suffering they called it 

distant relatives 

#katyamills

story 23

in the real world

no one cares about your dreams 

but you 

#katyamills

go to bed tired

the hardest days are the best days

give of yourself even more than

you knew you had

to give   #katyamills

some say reckless

leaning into the winds 

they faced the storm with

some say reckless some say 

selfless abandon

by the gods 

they were allotted

the power to save

#katyamills

dream of dreams

there was a dream made of an element not yet on the table filling all the gaps in our memory all the holes in our souls with a warmth akin to sunshine. the visionaries had no words no words to see it settled the collective insecure bittersweet heart  #katyamills

draw

the will of the people cannot always 

prevail. we see this in Hong Kong even in the States 

where capitalism fights democracy

to a draw

#katyamills