february 23

it was 2020 and all the rich were becoming increasingly paranoid about the old senator from vermont. what a surprise. nobody had expected anything scary to ever come out of a part of the country known for covered bridges and maple syrup. the green state gave us ben and jerry's ice cream and the latest practices for organic farming. jam bands...but democratic socialism? they were convinced if he won he would take away their money. he was halfway toward securing the nomination and what if he made it to the big stage and found a way to beat the king? to the dsa (democratic socialists of america) these concerns were elemental and elitist and typically egocentric, being separated from one's money. the whole point was not to make the rich miserable, but rather to forge a path towards social justice, fair labor practices, and deeper socioeconomic equalities. it was a divisive yet electric moment in the political arena in the states.

february 22

there was the accident

i saw you less and less

i hoped for you to heal

i prayed for you

why is it sometimes i 

cannot want the best

for anyone? 

what happened to the kid

to turn the thoughts against

them? 

i have become

the consciousness of caring

if i falter the old ways

resurface like the deepest

hurt striking out

drawn up off the 

bottom of the 

sea

so you cannot agree so what

you wanna share something make your life richer, you feel like the wealthiest one alive, really, and you wanna share it with someone who love you, they say they love you, they don't need to say they love you because they raised you, they gave birth to you, you would not have arisen from the dust without them, no, and now you grown and you wanna tell them what makes your heart beat, and you hope they will listen, and you finally get the courage to write it out in a letter and you send it, and it's okay, it's okay you say to yourself, knowing full well it's like playing the lottery, you ain't never gonna know exactly how it's coming back, could be venom, could be spit, could be vitriol, or something kinder, and this time, this time it happens to come back softer or kinder than before, maybe, and definitely better than silence, pure dead silence, so you are grateful for that at least, and no, they will not abide by your request, no way, but they want you to know they may be happy if you happy, yes, everyone deserves to be happy. you call them the next day just to say hi. there won't be any rehashing what was written. you want them to know it's okay. so you cannot agree. so what.

notes on writing

i no longer wait to be inspired to write. one need not wait for rain, to irrigate the land. i block off time every morning to string the words together in a way that captures how i feel. might be 5 words. might be 500. keep digging, you will ultimately find water.

then i turn to some larger body of work - #wip - occupying my every day mind and heart. focus on the immediate work in progress brings me back in alignment with the gods.

+ 7 +

you were always a little bit laughing at the end of your sentences. i was in the kitchen working up a goulash, juggling pots and pans. some days are busier than others and that's okay. this is the seventh anniversary of not being up to no good. i had to ask you to repeat yourself. you barked at me and i purred back. being nonbinary i gave up on normalcy long ago.

spirits

the spirits. in the spaces between
 apart and far from
 hemmed in

 they sway in unison
with and out of synch
 then

pressure to force it came upon the fooled
and forgotten

the spirits. they swayed in the fields
like tomorrow as was
yesterday

february 17

you go without sleep. you cannot stop talking about it. you push aside those things that matter to most people. sunlight. the outdoors. lunch. they think you are crazy. obsessed. sometimes you believe them. your heart has been inspired to tell the world a story.