the undivided

there was light enough

to bring the work to completion

the sun soon corralled

behind the fence

wasted was the fullness

hanging heavy off 

the vine

troubled were the thoughts 

arising in the mind

i gave them my undivided

until the sky was red

then with a wink 

sent them off

to bed

#katyamills

an age old scam

surreptitiously

they wheel up to your car

one seated in the chair covered up by a blanket

the other pushing

while you dig into your purse for change

the invalid jumps up with a knife 

takes your breath and threatens 

your life

#katyamills

 

photograph from a time long long ago

living off the land

you and your cousin 

captured for eternity

young men astride horses 

centered between generations

in the frame on the wall 

were you more happy

than sad? the question

had no answer even when

you were alive

#katyamills

be with

in a city
for the first time you
don't have to do nothing
but be with
walk around and explore
leave your damn phone
at home

#katyamills

tomorrows

you either can get past whatever you did in your past, or you cannot get past the past. today feels sorry for your tomorrows.

future.past.present

My future

innocent

untouched
pure

delicately woven
by my touch

i cry
to think
upon



My past is

starved
pale
and dark

thinking about it

i burst into
tears

sometimes



My life now

simple
not effortless

thrilling
not lonely

creation
behind the
keys

just

 
right


KatYa

Journal # 03.02.15

I wish I will live in self-forgotten. For now I look into the fog. Then turn on the space heater. My kittens all curled up in different rooms. They need the heat more than I do. One is topping a wicker basket of clothes. Another is curled upon the bed. The third, the lone wolf, on the belly of the armchair in my kitchen. I sit at my desk and wonder how life got its limits, so endless the moment it seems. I dare not look into the future. When all my kittens are gone. When perhaps I am here, at this same desk, with new kittens. Traitor! With new poems on my tongue. New paperbacks to my name. Ebooks on kindle. Traitor! I have forgiven myself already. For life trudging on. Forgive myself, towards self-forgotten. And once I forget myself complete? It will be left for someone else to remember who I was.

the light of future's present past

the quality of light
in the middle of the night
something hard to see
a candle dance
maybe


the lux
the quality
in the middle of the day
maybe less remarkable
than the light at night
in may

i once saw northern lights
purple green and blue
i once saw you
in my life
you and me and
me and you

the quality of sunshine
against a dark and dangerous sky
is just the kinda thing i need
so real so true
like you

the quality of lightless day
imprisoned in the mind
when all the world is simply shit
all the world
and mine

the quality of coming through
a really painful time
a midnight blue
an abstract lime

this is the quality
falls between us
still
i cannot help
loving you

i love the light
in darkness cast
the light of future's
present past

the eye of lighthouse
three sixty round and down below
the waves besmashed
down and round
ago

i see reflections
of the rocky rolling ocean spray
all day in lemon
squeeze

when contemplating all i've loved
and some who
gone away

i ask your hand
across dark land
across dark land with me

i ask your hand
across dark land
across dark land and sea

before the light diminish
quick!
before the light?
i ask of you

come with me now
come
please

retrospectral disinclination

There is nothing like a retrospective to take you out of time
Where do we go, when we go back?
I wanna know, where do we go?
If I leave this place too long,
can I still come back?

Or will I become some
retrospectral
memory of
me

Some sorry pseudo self
and signing out
apocryphally yours

I think
I will
stay

thank you very much
for the invitation
into collective checking out


like Robert Frost
the road less traveled
this moment
is my route