Saturday 31 December 2022


the barista and i have a moment. Lavazza café. hotel lobby. she can see i can see she's not thrilled to be working over the holidays and i feel for her. all around us people are playing. a few of them winning a lot of them drinking some of them smoking. most of them losing. she asks me again. changes my heart on it. push the valve. soft top my mocha with whip


of the sun

across from the Bellagio

we watched the street performers

and the fountains a script of dances

night mistaken for day

the Cirque De Soleil


the land of anything possible

a mile off the Strip past the Crazy Horse III to find a bank because you don't use plastic. i don't care. i could walk for days. behind us the Luxor. streets named after rat pack. guy in a pickup pulls over to proposition. things quickly go awry in the land of anything possible


Friday 30 December 2022


we headed north toward Reno. it's gonna be a white out, said a man holding chains on the shoulder, i'd recommend you good folks find somewhere to shelter for the night. we thanked him and mapped our way around the Sierras. 395 south into Bakersfield, by way of Mt Whitney. the snow turned to rain. sheets and sheets of it. rising off the container freight in transit. truck after truck after truck. headlights and brakes. we found a service station with less than five miles in the tank. someone or thing was looking out for us.  #katyamills

leaving Las Vegas

you hurl the core of apple out the window as we speed across the desert lands. Piute country. a wall of mountains either side. a federal prison. a reservation. we break west through an ancient pine cone forest. we stop so you can pee. 7000 feet high. spell our names in the snow. 

lights. camera. action

Paris hotel and casino. a replica of the Eiffel Tower steps one giant welded leg into a generous lounge. statue of a man mopping the street outside a piano bar and crêperie. you grab the handle to help him. i take your photo. the action here never ends. brave faces under the lights. the work is never done.


avocados on sale

boys chase around the aisles with sacks of weighed apples. avocados on sale. mom pauses, picking the purple textured skins. hopeful. but what would we trade out for it? almond milk? Diana Ross sings over the din of bar code scanning. she lifts her head and closes her eyes


Vegas 12.26.2022

Vegas. 5am. i take the elevator 20 floors down to the lobby. slot machines. whoever on the last dime. an old man smoking a cigar. a young woman with a pained expression. a dog under her arm. pulling for 7 bars on 5 lines. the dog licks foam off the lid of her coffee.


Friday 23 December 2022

no love for history revisionists

denying you did something you did when one witness to it describes how deeply it affected them hurt them is fucked up and as hurtful if not greater than the original offense


Thursday 22 December 2022



we pressed the paper map into the table 

compelled to the north through the mountains 

i gave in easy because i love you

south. through the desert

my imagination can fill in 

any vast expanse of



iphone city

she padded around

in leopard print slippers 

giving the plants glasses of water


raccoons huddled up

after dodging cars and found

a broken window to climb into her garage

they were stronger and bolder

the iphones 

made the humans




Tuesday 20 December 2022


you stole my heart 

but i am stubborn and do not stand for thieves

signaled by the wren's song

with a final kiss i took my love

and left you 

waking up 500 miles away

all my belongings in my car 

drinking coffee 

falling for a sunrise 

wrapping my arms around



to Vegas

out in the Mojave and halfway to Barstow
i was feeling mighty lonely
flirtin with the speed limit when
Loretta Lynn started singin 
her heart out 

i stopped for some coffee 
gave my phone to a pack of coyotes
then rolled my happy ass east 
carefree as a tumbleweed
headway into the sun


Sunday 18 December 2022

next to nothing is something

a fight over nothing
in the car in the drive through
moody. half starved

a woman lying in the road
overcome by emotions
a man rushed to the hospital 

time stops or slows and speeds up again 
false alarm

someone took a pill 
to ease a worried heart
in the rain 


the fish cannot see above water

i was running through a city park
dead grasses bordered an ominous sky
a man lay unconscious on the riverbank
where he had been fishing

desperation in a friend's blue eyes
asking could i help?

the sun setting
no hesitation
gotta be there for
my brothers




her lips parted to speak

radio waves flooded the room and

soaked the floral kitchen 



the brief winter daylight

lengthened several hours around

her persuasion

we all fell asleep



Thursday 15 December 2022


in the fields wet with dew

we walk

the body needs not touch

for solace

we are primary

when we overlap 

a letter at midnight i hold to my heart

how the light 

filters through


Wednesday 14 December 2022



flower essence

washed down the throat

in a capsule 


face the truth 



Tuesday 13 December 2022

capital losses

some joined the merchant marines some
emptied their bank accounts got in their cars and plain disappeared

if you asked them
they would cite neither 

love of travel nor 

moral obligation 

but a desire to escape the drudgery 
working for a balance sheet fighting


magical thoughts

obsessed with true crime
tamales wrapped with queso
conversational in animé
they got introduced in a subreddit dark web thread
baking feelings into cookies while trading on crypto might not get them fame
or fortune. still. these
were magical thoughts
not true love


Sunday 11 December 2022

alternate sky

being American
was wonderful

over a water blue tree
and under an alternate sky
we sucked on red 
hot sweet 


London. past life

the london fog made us
less visible and i liked it
sort of 
like the end of 
a past life

an organ was crashing
voices whispering 
will you wish to stay on earth? 
tell us
tell us

i had no fear
and yet 
because of the fog
i could not then


the romance of the screens

will you lead 

the opposition of the urge 

to indulge past past past the point of full

to sleep in long long long on a sunday 

to watch swipe watch?

it takes guts to knife the romance 

of the screens

the eyes hurt the head aches and

love is opposition

is bold


Thursday 8 December 2022

star lost in space

Vegas was nothing like advertised

a stitch in the fabric and rather small

like a star lost in space

the desert itself was bold

the canyons made the silence 



Wednesday 7 December 2022


the fog made us
less visible and we liked it 
in the distance 
an organ was crashing
we lost our manners
a bedside voice whispering 
will you want to stay
on the earth? tell us
though we are scared you will leave us
tell us please
so we know your true


ups and downs

i made and gave time

for the hearts to simply open

and share the ups and the downs

and for what we were most 


i watched another good one fall 

to the death of corporate 




given a chance to react i
got still into inaction
a star-studded event was going on inside me i 
could no longer fail
to appreciate


Monday 5 December 2022


a hundred thousand scratchers
from the jackpot
i can feel you at my back
falling asleep

walmart and amazon took our money 

i lean into you 
watching the yarn ball unravel 
between the claws of cats 
the pressures of life
the magic

got one thing 



river road

one late night
driving along the river
in fog and light taking rain
a great owl swooped low across the road
and took our breath

its speckled grey coat 

some say good luck some
say bad. our thoughts 
land on friends we lost 
who crashed aside this road how 
sad. tonight we give our tears 
it's all we have


Sunday 4 December 2022


the yards lit up
against the dying colors of the season
in the faces joyfully caroling
all in the spirit
of giving



with lust in her German eyes 
she gave me the secret family recipe
for strudel 

at my feet the puppy
a golden shephard mix

on my head
your brother's helmet
from Nam

i was suddenly afraid i 
will be shot