leaving Las Vegas

you hurl the core of apple out the window as we speed across the desert lands. Piute country. a wall of mountains either side. a federal prison. a reservation. we break west through an ancient pine cone forest. we stop so you can pee. 7000 feet high. spell our names in the snow. 

#katyamills

holiday weekend

we had a big fight then mended our hearts

fireworks are not allowed

we followed the highway up and over the mountains 

to see your cousins in Dayton, Nevada

the land on the other side dry as my eyes 

by then. i guess god wants to keep us together

#katyamills

6.29 NV

in Nevada the horses roam wild 

early morning in search of food 

having found where the fences leave off 

they come up to greet you in this dry and 

barren land

#katyamills

4 am

i discover the earthquake
37 miles out of Tonopah
Nevada by the water
rippling in the pool

200 miles away!

the cats screaming bloody murder
behind this apartment building

put the coffee on
it's friday anything could happen
save the kid surrender yourself
to a riptide

it can be beautiful
devastating

what a commotion
as we roll into
the weekend

fragment

from a letter i wrote to someone i once loved
- KatYa

Mt Rose, 2016

"i love you. we've been through alot. i wont forget it.
all i can do now is just live through it with you. until maybe
i need to live through it without you? i dont know. its different
looking one day to the next."  (2011)

Journal # 09.20.16

Another night followed another day followed another, the rails scraped clean by braking, the trains screaming down the line. Somehow I killed my depression and went on living lightly. Then it came back hard bearing down and I jumped out of the way. What do you want with my life? I am not rich. I am not pure. I am not decent. I am convoluted and curse a lot. I eat Doritos for breakfast. I talk to cats like they are my children. I am a favorite scapegoat. An object of attraction. A third rail. Of all the people in the world...

must be
      you want
          what you cannot have