library

 

the stillness

cut by the boom of a thousand

covered pages closing 

on a fantasy 

#katyamills

book. quote

Here's a line from my new book...

katya 12.25.17

"Eyes like full moons…thumbs rubbing ink to a fade can no longer be read, just described, each curve of every letter glowing like moonlight, expanding in all their hundreds of thousands of spectacular finishes! See the flourishes, you lucky kid. Looking for my sister in her pale blues or barefoot could be a keystroke away, a daydream, attacking a search engine with a heart in America, pulling lightly on the ends of twisted plastic until the whole thing rolls over and out, examining the condition of our condition, concentrating on the ionic bond even when it hurts. Life, I love you, for in you I find it all, and still so much unknown to me. Kell. Where are you?"

BOOK READING -- GTL 1 31

Grand Theft Life -- Book 1.27.5

READING - GTL - BOOK 1.27.1

Reading from GTL Book 1 26 2

GTL a book reading 1.23.4

EXCERPT. BOOK#3

"Yes, I have been troubled and I bring my troubles with me wherever I go cause home is wherever I am at any moment. I gotta be dim to think home is static, no, life proves me wrong all the time, stretches and yawns over the blue marble upon which we roll and slip, in our blue dreams it surfaces and dips, rounding us, our edges, in our black and blue jeans, replete with street and graffiti on the walls. A little cream, a little sugar in the coffee and stir. I cannot stop looking at you in my windowpaned heart. Maze. I keep losing and losing you, the rains came and washed you away, the sheets were in the streets and offline, the beats pushing the feet as we walked, the rhythms searching and climbing into the greater sound; the image of what we once were working toward dematerialized again, and just like watching television on the radio it was painful good. And here you are and the whistle has blown, kicking your board up to your hand for the catch, wheels spinning and I’m worried but what the fuck. I got nothing to lose cause with all this time talkin about my faith and talkin and talkin not daring to confront you. Had I already lost you? No, no. Truth, will you lunge at me like this? Boy oh boy. Can I stand there and stand this? Do I have a choice? And yet the big sky is bigger, and I cannot look up and not be amazed by the beauty in a puffed up cloud floating off to nowhere like a poached egg white after the gas is turned off and the waters navy blue… the smiling buddha of spaces, the proclaimer of all things inverted. Girl oh girl. In discordance sliding off a continuum because they forgot to put an end to it. Directly, mathematically correlated to my ability to see what was really going on here in my life, all alone. Yeah, there’s a freedom there. A painful kinda freedom because I will find you if I look hard enough. Painful good. I will get you back, I swear!"

-Ame, Book#3

Grand Theft Life 1.21.2

Kell @ Book #3

"People on the street were starting to notice what a basket case I was, the women and children mostly stared, the men wanted to fix me. A couple of well-meaning bastards tried to play hero and grabbed me by the arm they were so eager to help. Let go of me, don’t fucking touch me! The lucky ones backed away, shocked cuz I ruined their pseudo-heroics, while others dared face me behind their foul breath of omelet and avocado peppered with lox and wall street journal. I hit them with a wind farm of disaffection with the patriarchy. Ya, that’s right, Green Lantern, slow your roll and cool your jets, this ain’t Petrosinella and no, you can’t climb my hair! My performance was incandescent. I zigzagged back ways by alleys to keep from being followed."   - Kell

GRAND THEFT LIFE 1.15

not.getting.it.ness

I fell into my own fantasy as a keeper of the flame for the children new to fresh books books books. Even fantasies have antagonists and she was a beast, she related well to the kids what with her smiles and false promises. They wanted what she did not have, and fresh matte finish covers became less attractive as the eyes tend to follow the shiny dangler. So what? An asshole relates quite well to other orifices, I imagine, and cannot recuse themselves from toxic flushing, outlyers from anywhere life might thrive. I could only bring a few around to the treasures of reading, but we could proliferate from there. You know, kids tell other kids about a book and soon everyone is reading it. That was the best aspect of my fantasy. Funny how it used to be a reality, back in the Harry Potter days, the Chronicles of Narnia Days. These children were born with google roadmaps of life, and Marvel movies where once we had comic books. Maybe if I pulled the old trading card trick and attached sticks of bubble gum to the spine. Anything to greet them with language and keep them from falling into her world, the common unconscious of not getting-it-ness. Fighting for space. Craving intimacy. Technologically sound. Animals equipped with smart phones doing three quarters their mental work for them. Grades by emojis and trading in texts, subjugated to a subhuman comment thread without end. I dont even consider her subjects of the same genus as we. I just see elephant seals fumbling about for dying, flopping fish. Mammals with computers and electric outlets. Mall grubbing video grabbers. Android celluloid.

passage from Ame and the Tangy Energetic

"and together they brought the vines smashing across the windows and tearing apart the floorboards, and breaking apart the furniture, the shark fins cutting into Black’s skin and the vines wrapping around him like a snake, yes, she saw a snake in her mind, a silver snake, and the snake was like a secret gift from a friend an ally, like a ring on a finger, she thought, and god am I losing my fukkin marbles but it’s beautiful! and there was the light in Ame’s eyes, the savage blue like the deep waters through which the great white hunted the Atlantic, but the brutality that had so torn her up back then, the very night she met Ame’s boyfriend finally, Maze, and they had taken the subway under the earth and across the San Francisco Bay, for she remembered asking Maze for the window seat and steaming the window like she always did, and wiping it with her arm, and the funny look Maze gave her when she leaned her face up against the glass so she could watch the tracks with one eye and watch the passengers with the other, the look he gave her like why the hell are you doing that? and she didn’t care cause she was able to lean into a nod and look less foolish this way than that, and then Ame turned around from the seat in front, to face them, and was just the nice girl who befriended her back when she was living in that decrepit former nunnery on Lake Merritt and nowhere to go, but afterward, after that really cool show in the Mission, the coming back with a rumbling and rush of air and sound as the train picked up speed in the tunnel heading home to Oakland, this time she sat up and next to Ame who was going on about having been a rockstar for a minute when she got to draw a soup spoon like a bow across some DIY instrument was supposed to pass for a violin, and they were laughing and then when they stopped and the train came up for air, there was a strange tension reminiscent of some intangible tucked far away in her past, a bad energy; and her high was wearing thin but whatever it was was picking up the slack and she saw both Maze and Ame fixed upon someone in the train, and then she was hustled off the train by them at the Broadway station, wondering why the hell they didn’t go on to MacArthur seeing as she was hoping to hit the Imperial where she was staying with Bless and Freddy, and where her secret stash of Somas and Percs were gonna help her to sleep, but she followed them out and up into the street and the Paramount Marquee was all lit up towering over the orange of a Broadway night, and sure enough they were following somebody, and she got a real uncomfortable feeling like she was about to be an accessory to a crime, and sure enough she was"  

- drafted from 'Ame and the Tangy Energetic' (Daughter of Darkness #3) .voice of Kell. coming this summer to an ebook store near you

Review: Interview with the Vampire

Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The reason I give this book 5 stars is related to the quality and style of the writing. Anne Rice is a writer's writer. I also felt like she understood her subject matter-- 'Vampires' thoroughly. She did her homework and she filled the characters out around the edges within which vampires must be contained.

Aside: [I will never understand how so many writers and filmmakers can decide to take license with vampires, and endow them with qualities vampires do not have! I know its the 21st century and everybody loves a vampire. But this does not give people license to turn vampires into vampires plus, or just give them horrible makeovers].

Anne Rice fortunately, is not among those who have been taking the species to the sewer in their awfully careless treatments all across the media landscape. (The 'Underworld' films are also an excellent example of vampires done right). Maybe I am a bitter goth from way back. Anyway, thank you Anne Rice for doing right by vampires. The others should go and make their own terrible monsters, and not be so lazy to call them vampires, or so greedy to capitalize on the trend!

The characters are interesting. The sense of humor is dark, sardonic caustic. The plots are thick. I did put the book down, for weeks at a time, but I read it twice and caught things the second time I missed the first time around. Anne Rice has sold so many books during her lifetime because her writing is bold, flashy, fun, and colorful. If you haven't tried her and you like vampires, check it out.

View all my reviews

Maze 2:16:3

the rhythm of a mistake

Ya, you always said the unpopular thing and that was cool, when someone was about to get hurt and someone had to say something and no one did but you. We didn't have the guts back then to stand up for what was right. I didn't. Things happen so fast it's over before you've made up your mind. Fear gettin the best of courage. What would happen if you went against the rhythm of a mistake? All eyes on you, maybe some cursin and shovin and pushin as you try and stand your ground and stand up for what you know is right. We were all asking ourselves the wrong question. What would happen if you didn't break the rhythm of a mistake? The song would go on and carry out over the trees, into the valleys, echoing, bouncing around the canyons and maybe even out to sea. And everyone and Donald Trump would be singing it, without knowing what it really meant. And the heat of the sun wouldn't enliven you anymore. The heat from the sun would just burn you.  -KatYa

Here's my latest reading from Maze...

Book Two
Chapter 16:1

Maze 2:15:1

In the last episode 2:14:7 Ame is waxing poetic on love and the orphans have come back from the seven eleven and are literally forcing her to play with them. If she refuses they might push her into traffic. Damn kids!

Book Two
Daughter of Darkness Series
Chapter 15:1

Maze 2:14:7

In the last episode 2:14:6 Ame waxes poetic on love, with observations on fear. Some sadness, some regret.

Book Two
Chapter 14:7

Maze 2:14:5

In the last episode 2:14:4 Ame confronts Kell's known drug dealer, kicking his door in. The kids there watching her, have her figured for the one who took care of the thief who disappeared not long before.

Book Two

Chapter 14:5

TEASER

From Ame and the Tangy Energetic (Darkness, #3)  --  "We sought our pleasure in the world, thinking this would bring a measure of happiness. Maybe did for a moment; up all night laughing, walking the streets at 3am, ghost trains passing by. We readied ourselves and jumped. The world went from absolute stillness to perpetual motion, we outlined the Pacific Ocean, the sea salt filled our lungs, we sought our shadows on a train and now comes the rain, I see you pacing the room up there with your paranoia and bad thoughts about me, your negative energy sticks to the walls and peels the paint and no mirror can survive your self-loathing, not even me, and it hurts when you break me down like you think you can, when all I am is over here loving you, your ferocity, your anti, your sweetness protected but starved inside you, the most delicate beauty I have ever held and why do you think I would hurt you, how come you don’t invite me to see and cherish you, desperate you, and all your hard life you’ve been through? Fighting shadows and running away from yourself, your mom and your past, all those demons locked inside, criss-crossing, and what of it? For you were with me."  --   KatYa