September

they beat us up

broke us down 

took our dignity 

we went home 

tails between legs 

to mommas tearful 

embrace 

reinvigorated 

by love and 

kindness

#katyamills

six 23

even kindness 

was hardwired in

a world patterned for war 

the downtrodden 

they showed us 

the way

#katyamills

silly

your profound critique 

came off silly 

if you are not offering basic kindness first 

why would we care?

#katyamills

boba 15

all we had left besides

blurry screen smudged vision and apocalyptic climate heads 

was the kindness we shared over a smashing boba tea 

in twenty twenty three

#katyamills

sweet.ness

the city streets was ice cold

they had clarity of thought and dangerous 

in the best way

disarming you with unanticipated sweetness

violet with kindness for the world 

#katyamills

next to nothing is something

a fight over nothing

in the car in the drive through

moody. half starved

a woman lying in the road
overcome by emotions

a man rushed to the hospital 

time stops or slows and speeds up again 

false alarm

someone took a pill 

to ease a worried heart
in the rain 

#katyamills

single form

kindness comes in countless forms

hate? a bitter tea

#katyamills

they was kind

they was quiet when i
expected noise and heat
my vertebrae rolled in with laundry
screwed down by the
street spine up like train tracks
over the sierras. i thanked god
they was kind. only heat the machine
my life dry spun the rain
came down in sheets

#katyamills

rock ridge

one kind word

and the new world

opened up 

the obscenity
the hatred
the judgment 

the old concrete

broke apart

one kind word ina city

of water of engine of
fire of steam made 

passage 

to the heart

ina whisper

ina vision

ina friend

super

Super was the moon and animate the trees; the winter winds arose and bled right through my clothes. I was dodging in and out a moment right before your eyes, yet you were tracking down to daydream. Be very kind and stay alert. This is how we may survive.

random. oct 31

random acts of kindness on halloween...

frighten somebody
if they scare you, thank them
give a kid some candy
protect all black cats!
offer up a pumpkin for sacrifice
candles over electricity
be prepared with a trick
celebrate diy costumes
protect black cats!
be a witch not a b@tch
scream clearly
stay up all night
worship the moon
run endless b-flicks

the resolute kindness

Readers
Friends
Family
Comrades

I wish you all a bright season, and thank you for camaraderie and for showing interest in my work. For the first time in many years, since 2005 to be exact, I will be spending this holiday with family. I am excited. It was a long and painful separation, yet in that empty space my family once filled,  I developed a lot --what Jung would call individuation -- and, up against the painful silence of a careless world, I drew close to the warmth of the fire in my heart, and somewhere there located the elements of my survival. You may have noticed my tools. Writing. Running. Counseling. Reading. Mindfulness and meditation. Guitar. Your life can be what you make of it. Isn't that freedom? I feel fortunate for my small freedoms in our world of power struggles and abuses. Yet the resolute kindness had to be gifted to myself, and still does. There was a time when I was a child then an adolescent and a teenager, and the many kindnesses were insinuated toward me. I believe the most kind among them, lovers and family and lifetime friends, were the ones who knew me best. And I felt insulted. For I knew they knew I was some walking contradiction, that somehow I was an act, and could betray myself in an instant! The ones who knew me, knew I was not kind to myself at all. I treated them poorly and almost as poorly as I experienced myself. I was a classless example on a long and endless tour. I was Keith Richards meets Brian Jones for a swim. I was a party of one, divisible by all. I had to be alone, in order to patiently await the resolute kindness within me. Otherwise, I risked the endless incinerations, and being reduced to a fraction of myself.

2016 K 

This is my confession to you. I know my writings tend to give only a glimpse of who I am and what I have been through. It is only through the greater whole of this website, and through the books that I write (yes, I am a novelist), you may know me more intimately. And you may also see my play and foreplay with the resolute kindness, within and without. I am the filter, and I attempt to surface and demystify the demons, to spin them around like a top and turn them. Turn them into friends and allies, within and without. I consider it some kinda alchemical process going on. I don't create it, I just reflect it. When I am lucky, coal turns to silver and wine, into water. But I want to be honest with the process, and if all that turns up out the topsoil is a demon, well, there you have it, I will share a demon with the world and let the world handle it... I love it more when I can grow the kindness and press it out to you like a flower! This is (and was) my dream in twenty sixteen. And I will exercise a lien on twenty seventeen, and release more of this lovely, tangy stuff to you when i can, so we can share the resolute kindness.