Wednesday, 13 November 2019

stunning

you were stunning
they were gunning
to meet you

if only they knew
what they were walking
into

wanting to believe

if i could help you i would. maybe i can by being grown up and not so easily hurt. i guess we all struggle with wanting to believe we are loved.

impossible math

in the city you may find her
weeknights back of the lot
expanse of sky just above a fenced
square of earth to breathe
eyes full of sunset and
impossible math ruled out in
her forehead

tired of moving
cannot afford to stay
how can she tell
the kid

soft fall



the grapefruit ice you drink upon the delta breeze

with summer lost its spark

calm down. you need not rush

the leaves to turn and

softly fall upon the crossing

walk

time to sit and talk

all the cell phones gone and what a world

would be. what a world once

was and how we got along you

fingered my blouse i cried to think so

soon you would be

gone

outwitting the grammar police on the outskirts of dot dash city

Lynn P. Penner
I'm the typo queen. Sometimes I look back on messages and wonder how I survive the writing world lol

Did you get your work done? Was it worth working your ass off to miss a pretty day? lol Have a good day tomorrow. 🙂
Lynn P. • Tue, 6:06 PM
the typo queen enlists apostrophe charles to fight the evil dyslexics riding around town in their supercharged semi-colons on the edge of dot dash city

Thursday, 7 November 2019

force

i had a nightmare and woke up and drank some water and when i fell back asleep it turned into a dream. you can try but you cannot force things, you may even suffer if you do. you cannot push yourself into a personality. it's okay to learn new things about yourself. it's okay to wanna change. if you feel unsatisfied or unhappy, you gotta find what it is you are fighting and stop. best to accept it. allow things to be the way they are. and just work on it every day a little.
katya selfie 2019



heartbreaker

you told me of your fears and how you might not make it. i was so looking forward to your visit. seeing you for the first time in 15 years. my blood. my cousin. the only one i've got, i mean, the only one i talk to. i saw us roaming up to tahoe and down to san francisco maybe over to the ocean. what a heartbreaker. okay. the most important thing is your health. these day's it's god's will, anyway, not mine.
author at home

Tuesday, 5 November 2019

journal 1 november

the song of summer has ended
and we nest inside our city
apartments

these cool dawns thaw out ina flash
with the sunrise and i cut most
my hair off and layer

i can smile waking up again i
can find myself again
in the winter i

can see my breath


Wednesday, 30 October 2019

the seconds

will you stop for a moment, dear sir, madame?
please for a fraction of
my soul

hk is special

the west and east have always been mirrors. one
sees its autonomy and corruption by the
other. sees its purity and constriction
by the other. sees its integration
in the rare and magical city
where reflections dissolve
and berlin may be
envious

hk. hong
kong

one leader to another

pressures got relieved when you
weren't so full of air. there was always the threat
of surface area being
punctured

territorial pissing
this high psi life has
to go...       

          gimme a bicycle
two wheels and a pension
and an endless path
through a forest

limitless

limitless hours underground. writing
and what 4. to sustain the hope that someday
one could craft a transmission
would be 101% received?

let me get up
drag a comb through the hair
pull on the boots
button up the shirt
draw the belt firm across
the waist

step out on the landing
and live

emergenc.y

my thoughts spoke for themselves my
 feelings could scarcely be
contained

anytime of triumph of the spirit
looked rather sloppy and
unsophisticated

photo by katya

Tuesday, 29 October 2019

closer to home

the insecurity of youth has passed
with its hunger for identity
and dearth of belonging

oh! to feel this much
closer to
home

journal 10.24

i am older now and not without aches and pain
and i can feel what i've been through in them
so it's not so bad.

kinda tells me what i'm made of

getting lost with you

staying up late into the night and still
early for you. i am listening to the world series
fills the room with sunshine in the muted waves of sound

the away team has won every game and my heart
can still hear yours. you would laugh at me for sure, to call the hour
late

we would be just getting started. out looking for videotapes and alleyway treasures
and trouble

in five days we turn time back again
will we remember, you and me
we strung out different images off the same
perspective and
none of it looked real

all i have to say is that i cannot forget
what happened. getting lost
with you

getting lost
changed my life

october. california

fall the fields arid
dry. the vineyards patched out
from the sky

we worry the wind
we worry the skin of earth
and tree. shed out
and sprawling free

end of night
downtown

i follow the arc of the tip
of your cig. you damned drunk!
and quietly stamp out
the berry


the screens

when the screens are off i
speak to you and
you listen

our feelings fully
articulated

thank god
we have a chance


readers take on my latest

i have shared my latest novella (not yet published) with three of five chosen readers, no nonsense folks (not all of whom are writers) whom i felt would give me an honest appraisal. i got a call from the only one who finished and held my breath awaiting the truth...

they really liked it!

they liked the rhythm and lyricism of the writing.
the setting was clear.
they cared about the protagonist and anti-heroic quality of her friends.
 the character development was solid.
 the plot kept them interested.
the end left them wanting more.

one of the areas i could work on, they suggested, is by limiting the time i spend in the headspace of my protagonist. they found these extended daydreams much less interesting and wanted me to get back to the storyline.

i am grateful for this critique!

Wednesday, 23 October 2019

the haunted 10 and 24

we rode a haunted train with skeletons
hanging off the engine for what i
thought was fun. i
did not know i was alone i
turned to smile and share the season and. you
had a distant look in your eyes partway
unmoored. the other passengers i asked
for help but they. they were lifeless in their
seats moved only by a rumbling
on the rails a hand fallen down off the elbow
and. and. and an upturned forehead.

 somewhere behind us
the terrible sounds the. the wailing of the winds
the cracking of some glass or why. why. why the sky
was dark now the steam streaming past
the glass and my heartbeat bumping up against
the ceiling. a lonesome solitary feeling as we long since
left the station to nowhere headed
racing

chicago. summer

this energy has welled
pulled us into the hollow
inside

this energy has shifted
can we trust it?

let's get up and go to the store
together. look at the clouds!

giving us all and the
trees a glow

i have fifty cents
i will buy you a
coke

like a control freak losing control

like a control freak who lost
control you could not
hold on

you had to
let go

scared you are
guarded

you see things you
never before
saw

breathe

it's better
this way

origin story

if you disentangle them
from the sweetest
songs

the roughest elements

you can fashion your
origin story from
there

and uncover who you
were

      and have
become

amelia

they still search for you
amelia

the grainy black and white
footage close to a century
old

i have found
you in my
heart

Friday, 18 October 2019

12 going on 21

why you were left alone so long 
only the spinning world 
would know

it hurts looking back. you made friends easy
 and what friends. a formula 
for trouble 

and trouble looks like anything
 but trouble at
 first

glam.

used to be hotels and nightclubs
 concerts and restaurants
 shots of light and whisky in the dark

 now i find the glam 
in silent early mornings cooking
 coffee ona stove

a kid told me

people suck
i could not deny that they do

what if we all suck up to 50% of the time 
on average? could we still have faith we won’t ever suck more than half the time? 

we could dream of being 
suck free some 
day

friendship combo

what if you became we 
would the disparity between our worldviews 
soften? 

no more blame game

let us try making somethin outta what we have
 then if we succeed

we can celebrate our friendship
 combined

if i thought about

what made you you 
and how our lives would 
look without it

i too would organize
i too would risk arrest and a violent 
reaction to our
 protest

without what made you
 you 

there can be none of what made me
 me or us — we

hk

we see our flags in your streets we see
   your movement like ours
could not
     cannot be 
denied

hk

love hk. 4 what will not cannot be assimilated like you love your own uniqueness. love hk

Thursday, 10 October 2019

try me

try me on a winter morning
try me in the fall
try me when your heart is yearning

something so familiar
what you thought was gone
what if it returned to you?
like some forgotten song

catching you unexpected
barefoot on the tile
sunlight found the shadow
god

its been
a while


Tuesday, 8 October 2019

4

4 were the ways
got us across the days
unscathed

4 were the winds
altogether kept us
centered

4 were the fires
could not be
extinguished

4 were the reaches
at the ends of
the earth

2 times
did i call out
to you

2 circles
overlapped

the birds 
upon the wire
they fell
took flight
and

the sky
the sky
the sky

water

Sunday, 6 October 2019

yesterday. october 5

we rode on out to see the cousins down along the river road, into the delta and god was it beautiful, America on an autumn afternoon. we paid respects to your mom along the way. the sun would leave the cemetery sky red hot on its descent in the west. i never knew your father was an artist until you showed me his studio deep in the lot, behind the garage. there was a portrait of a beautiful woman on the easel, maybe the beloved in the beloved years? he is 94 now and lives with sofia the cavalier. they are pulling up the carpets now. the orange tree what with its lime hybrid is beginning to bear fruit. we shared baked beans and fried chicken and i listened to the story of his coming to this country, up from Mexico, hoping on some work and a couple hundred dollars to take home. a man convinced him to hop the freight train and go north, to Indio. from there they decided on Sacramento. the man got drunk one night and disappeared. that was three quarters of a century ago. old sacramento was a community of migrants. i wonder about the spirit and where does it go when somebody is no longer around?

4-5-6-7-8

the sun was below ground at 4 o'clock but the sky could feel her comin in colors off the glass. some kids got sent back to aisle 5 at the safeway for trying to buy single coronas off the 6 pack. i was searchin for my simple honeybee bear and asked around and found him in lucky no.7. across the street my digital order turned up 8 ounces of coffee, hot and fierce. not a bad start for a day. not a bad start at all. stay present and you can handle anything.

Saturday, 5 October 2019

goofy

I turned up the aisle with counterbalance of grocery baskets and indecision about toothpaste brands. I put my baskets down as you pushed a plush goofy into my hands which i figured you grabbed off a shelf. You told me you won it for me and pointed at those impossible machines, glass container full of toys and mechanical claw. I didn't believe you. But it was true!

Thursday, 3 October 2019

lost to devices

cell phone city. 2019

eyes glossy and
zoned

smile like an upside
down sunset

we could not reach you
were lost to
devices

upside down sunset by katya

Wednesday, 2 October 2019

journal october 2

morning coffee and oatmeal, and the cool autumn air seeping through the screen to wake you up. today i will be out of the house from 8am-9pm. i have been sleeping well with the cool nights though my cats wake me up frequently but i'm used to it. my novella is in pretty good shape and hoping to send it out soon to some betas for a test read before i complete the next and possibly final draft. now that i have published 5 works under my name, i learned to stop forecasting the finishing, it almost always takes longer than i expected. the new novella has ZERO fantasy elements in it, as its grounded in turn of the century (millenium) action, circa 1999. this seems to be the time and place i gravitate towards. if i am ever to be known as an American author by a great many people, they will likely appreciate my reflections of this era.

Tuesday, 1 October 2019

post-colorful

no more flying or driving we
leave it to the machines no
more surfing the oceans gone
plastic no more cash no more
paper we're all caught by the
web. no silence do not think
for yourself. creation is an
algorithm god is an intranet
dropping digital stitches ina
biodegradable post-colorful
world. amen.

Saturday, 28 September 2019

traces

what's left of the bonds we once had are traces. friendships never die. even when we no longer speak we always have the shadow traces.

color of mud

sorry we don't accept your currency here, it is awfully divisive. we might take bitcoin though insecure and often inflated. you can have anything you want -- guaranteed -- no shoes or shirt, feet and hands raw, the color of mud

fullness

drink more of 
water and
 air and prayer

downtown sacramento by katya

journal. september 27th. 2019

i seem to always be working on the residuals of my mental illness, sweeping them up and out of my life. this is a maintenance thing, i mean, i have to radically accept the eternal presence of anxiety and depression. they no longer stop me from living my life like they did before (and after) i got clean, six and half years back. yet they are like a snake and threaten to constrict. i have to maintain and keep building. thank god i have a career that enriches me. i have a home and can cook my own food. i have my health and no longer take psych meds. the recollections of traumas have subsided though they sometimes resurface in nightmares and an uneasy mistrustful and guarded relationship with both internal and external worlds. i am working on self-discipline. my stress levels fluctuate but are more manageable when i eat healthy and exercise and stretch (yoga. asanas) with greater frequency. this requires mindfulness. i am drinking more of water and air (deep breathing) and prayer. i am devoting more time to reading and writing. i read at night, before bed. on weekdays i get up before dawn and write, more and more frequently. it is hard to build the life you wanna live but it sure is worthwhile.

Wednesday, 25 September 2019

autumn thank god

who knows what would have happened and it's autumn thank god the summer has broken and we held it together so well

far past when holding it together was cool

Tuesday, 24 September 2019

drowning of sorrows

I am grateful you take care and look out for one another. of course like you said I am the same spirit and soul never changed and I remember trying to tell you that but no one wanted to believe me. Not back then. But of course I had a drug problem so why would anyone believe me then. I'm just happy I had the courage to transition and find my new life. I'm glad you and I are able to have a friendship, we wont agree but still love one another. I'm proud of X for all his successes in life and keeping the family going into future generations. It can look different for anybody. For me it's not wealth or kids it's just who I am based on what I've been through. I have wisdom I am trying to pass down. I have a man in my life who loves me. Two cats and several books to my name. My success is not measured the same as yours, but I'm proud of you and Z and X, I will never have those victories but God wants it this way, God has brought me to a place where I can see and make a difference in other people's lives, where i can be home, after many years of selfish living and drowning of sorrows. K

Monday, 23 September 2019

kill it with truth

the ring has gone i lost it and did not know. then i worried about you and had anything happened. touch up auto paint covered my fingernails the pumice could not kill. and how had we died. you killed me with kindness and i. killed you with truth

Sunday, 22 September 2019

try the world out

take a vacation to planet earth it won't be paid you gotta earn your keep every day. it won't be fair cuz life on earth ain't fair but you could get lucky. your trip will not have a specified departure but you could be asked to leave at any moment. guaranteed pleasure and pain! in almost lethal doses! you can transform your pain into suffering and your pleasure into happiness if you wish. you will have free will but most likely someone or thing will restrict it prohibitively for your entire visit. come and sign up for this amusement ride! take a trip to planet earth and see how long you can survive!

Saturday, 21 September 2019

lonely

i once was so very
alone if i encountered you
and we went sideways
the moment would burn
for days

identity

anyone who thinks
it selfish to claim
your identity

must have not
once questioned
their own

a lack of curiosity
is sad and scared and
cannot be trusted

for who does not
wrestle with
self?

words

i string words together
not for nothing
that I can find myself
when i get lost
in the madness of
this world

take refuge

how do you protect
your heart

if you really loved
you cannot

at least you
really loved

self

our best work comes
when we are not conscious
when the passage of time
cannot be mapped
the best is so often
a surprise

birds mia


one day
when all our birds are drones
may we remember what we are
grateful for

Wednesday, 18 September 2019

journal sep18.19

when you work hard long enough you will discover a cadence a value in it nobody can ever deny

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

all the years

forty six to be exact
i treasure each one for all
it taught me

lazy summer fun

we plucked the worms from the earth and pinioned them on hooks on strings and cast them into the lake for the sunfish to strike and get hooked through the gills then fight and flight and make it worse and we reeled them in ona pole and plucked the fish from the waters and let them gasp for air while baking on the planks of the dock in the sun until dead then put them in a crayfish trap tied to a clete and threw it overboard for three days and nights and pulled it up full of crabs cannot get out then boiled a pot of water ona stove and threw all the crayfish in to boil red and cool and break the tails off suck the head, all in the name of lazy summer fun. we were kids. i won't be upset if i never go fishing again.

wish upon a screen

she gave me a soda
these were better days she
got her boyfriend out
by calling the cops when
he beat her up

let's sit ona brick and concrete slab  drinkin sugar water outta green aluminum cans

who knows how long
this will last

back 2 back

i had my same old prayers and back to back they matched the breath

sunrise and
sunset

same old prayers and all the bullshit in between we must attend for such

is life
is life
is life

how did i get there

in the
niche the pocket of the
microcosm

like a planetary system
dependent upon
you

my sun

the least visible
most pressing
force

pretending we
are free

mediocrity

mediocrity

a fine attribute if
you're a
cat

Saturday, 14 September 2019

systems and service

I live inside a certain closed system wherein one is not trusted, one is held accountable to high standards which are enforced relentlessly by teams chosen based on work ethic and other high quality merit marks, to oversee the delivery of services to the general public. Sometimes I question my decision to live there for it is not always a friendly place. What I love is how I am challenged and pushed to my limits, and not one day ever looks like the next. It is an exciting and dynamic environment, and because I have earned rank and respect over time, I do have freedoms and work is creative. I care for my team and am aligned with the mission.

Friday, 13 September 2019

star 5

no one was alive
on star 5

not since 1515
when life was unsettling
on earth

cats black

your voices and my voices met in the middle under a bright cat black

cell 2

one cell says
to another

walk your human
over here

untitled cell

the moon stared us
in the face put us in
our place

looking up from our
screens

finally

Tuesday, 10 September 2019

colorless

you got me disinterested by your tone of voice. seeing you i have a choice and paint the world around you cannot help but drop out without color not even close to an impression until the absence stands out clearly

Saturday, 7 September 2019

where was where is your world

you found a place where you clicked you could go and be known you could go and belong you could go and now you're aching to be there

to go there again

the lightning strikes the storm thunders so violently like it did back then you know you never left you are there it is here and its real

Thursday, 5 September 2019

soft fall

the grapefruit ice you drink upon the delta breeze with summer lost its spark. calm down. you need not rush the leaves turn and die and fall upon the crosswalk. time to sit and talk. all the cell phones gone and what a world it would be. what a world it once was and how we got along you fingered my blouse as i cried to think so soon you would be gone

Wednesday, 4 September 2019

rest

you can get all the rest you want but you still need to find your rhythm in the world. if you lost yours, it can be a real bitch to get it back. you may need to stab your fears in the heart with a dagger and bleed out the yellow poison. then do those things that scare you, inject yourself back into the bloodstream and let go. feed your faith and starve your fear to death. i promise you an adventure like no other!

Saturday, 31 August 2019

31



i wanna wear my life out
like any true fighter who
took the talent god
gave them

and made the most
without regard for pain
of it

giving the world the
very last of all
they got

i wanna wear life out
like any true fight

take the talent god
gave 

make the most
without regard for

pain or 
self

give the world the
very last of all
i got

change of heart

i was frightened by an accusation in a nightmare, it nearly broke me. i woke up pained, unwilling to return to bed. i called my father three time zones ahead. we shared our memories of late nights listening to the loons, the wonder of the call. one moment mournful and stops you in your tracks, then ascends nearly in laughing. what a change of heart.

response to mikulova

i remember how we met last year, a hopeful time for us, our mutual friend turned me on to your work. we were closer than friends really and had never been acquainted. up late the night before i read what you wrote then drove, me and my guy, down to alameda to see daniela, her daughter and you. memories of life in oakland flooding through me. the party was great though a little too much. you were tired from traveling the world and camped out in a big chair, anyways, and i came and sat down by all of you where we exchanged smiles and made eyes. the music and laughter and smoke. of course your words, the ones you wrote, i thanked you for them. this is how it can be with us writers.

sapphire

you touch the sapphire eye for solace
without looking when
inconsolable

come to this country never been
here before

the ones you meet either like you
or dislike you for no good reason

america
a period to end all the sentences running
and running away

a pitch turning colors displaying a royal
flush of feathered tails

have another vodka sapphire eye sees
you home

skull


i once envied you
who

could give
a fuck or less

see what has become
of you and

your thick skull

i am sensitive and was
bullied for it for
years

now i see this as my
greatest strength for
i am woke

you
you get all your groceries
delivered

you think no one
gives a damn
and you’re
right

journal august

the sky was a peach at sunset and a fire at dawn and we ate lemon ice and prayed that the city's electrical grid would hold up. the number of homeless had risen and not all could not be housed, and caring citizens were combining forces and giving away tents on the weekend. others were cold complaining to cops and assemblymen: get these sorry-ass derelicts off of my street!

Wednesday, 28 August 2019

do a few lines

i got going early. two hot mugs of coffee with hazelnut. shredded wheat. did a few lines of Hemingway. to have or have not. rather full of booze and game fish and racist, too. i got outta there quick. back to my own stuff. maybe less charged or controversial, but at least i'm not washed up and over. edits for an hour on the manuscript and up and hit the interstate in my '04 GTI. the sun was burning hot and i got something to lose.

pace of life

the pace of life runs along with or without you. setbacks make it harder to keep up. sometimes you need to stop and talk to someone. share your feelings. then pick yourself up and carry on.

i delight

a single cricket found his way into my home and hides on the vine. i delight in his courage to make music in this strange and dangerous land 

Tuesday, 27 August 2019

telling

telling was the night upon the day long and hot and humid until the end

the night and
     like a shot it shut
                         you down

i took you to the spot
where all the revelry
was muted

distant

the interplay of
telling you how i
truly felt without
a word

the science

the science was a whisper
held against it
up against the
wall the
kiss

Wednesday, 21 August 2019

the sameness

Any need to explain yourself by your heritage was obviated by the sameness. Whether you liked it or not you would be classified by your skin color, initially. Even the ones classifying you would insist they were not. Sadly, some might not even know they were, such was the state of lack of self-awareness.

Tuesday, 20 August 2019

Monday, 12 August 2019

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Tuesday, 6 August 2019

excerpt from my yet-to-be-published novella

Katya 2019
There may be hope for me, I thought, rolling the smoke between my fingers. How different everything felt. The box, the stem, the lighter, the cig. I could sense the tobacco leaf inside the paper. Crunchy, resilient, it bounced back when you pressed it. I set fire to it and watched it burn and glow. I felt the smoke hit the lungs and exhaled at the top of my breath, I can breathe. Maybe I will last, after all, I thought, relaxing and getting used to myself again, taking drags. Aden looked worried, huh, I suppose they all did. I wish I could tell him...I still see things that turn me on. The barber shop cylinders have gone dark, the neon lights are lit, the end of the night far away, the dance floor naked and ugly without a dance. I paid the check and smiled. - Katya, Trouble '99

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

july 31, 2019

this morning i did my jumping jacks and boiled the coffee to mix with cream. this morning i called my dad, today is his birthday. my kittens are alarm clocks and get me early out of bed. i did the dishes and prepared a salad for later. i rang the tibetan bell and listened to my heartbeat. i called the love of my life for he is on the road again. i cannot count my blessings. i can sit here at my desk and beat up the old english language for a while. all what makes life at 46 worth living.

alto

she swims alongside the current
she follows the sun into the sea
after many days of searching
they presumed her drowned

they knew nothing of the changes
or how she made it through

she may as well have died

she cuts through open water 
she moves the breath of life
she has come awakened
to meet the deepest sea

Tuesday, 30 July 2019

por favor

please. do not become tired of life. work it hard and that's a lot. someone always gives up. let them. giving in makes not giving in stand out. what once was commonplace is super rare and meaningful. 

i love how you approach me

the talk died down and i cherished the absence of it, lay myself down and still beneath the windowsill. my eyes blurred out to the jazz and i felt you coming like long fingers rolling up the keys. my head fell dead to one side where I could see you and know of the utmost precision of your tender love and care.

Saturday, 27 July 2019

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Wednesday, 24 July 2019

GOODREADS GIVEAWAY!



 
 


    Goodreads Book Giveaway
 

   

        Girl Without Borders by Katya Mills
   

   

     


          Girl Without Borders
     
     


          by Katya Mills
     

     

         
            Giveaway ends August 05, 2019.
         
         
            See the giveaway details
            at Goodreads.
         
     
   
   



    Enter Giveaway



Sunday, 14 July 2019

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Sunday, 7 July 2019

expiration date. sadness

one day you woke up feeling lighter. this was different. this was hope. it made no sense and could not be denied. the following day it was gone. the light was shining and the birds were singing but all you saw and heard was dead again.

still what stood out for you now was the recollection of yesterday's hope. wanting another taste of that.

so you got out of bed a little earlier. you saw the slightest smile at the edges of your lips in the mirror. you were able to sing some morose song by the Cure in your head.

- Katya Mills, 2019

Sunday, 23 June 2019

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Thursday, 13 June 2019

Book Giveaway: Grand Theft Life by Katya Mills



 
 


    Goodreads Book Giveaway
 

   

        Daughter of Darkness by Katya Mills
   

   

     


          Daughter of Darkness
     
     


          by Katya Mills
     

     

         
            Giveaway ends June 26, 2019.
         
         
            See the giveaway details
            at Goodreads.
         
     
   
   



    Enter Giveaway




Wednesday, 12 June 2019

be like a poem will never be written

how does one describe the exhalation of breath
the incomplete gesture the
tangible space suddenly
apparent?
there is a part of me died with you
a fragment
a trailing cry pulling at my hair
wanting to lash out and
break…
something to see
the color of blood as
a way in
as a way out
to look for you
all this is like a poem that never will be written
to die to find you
to leave this alien place premature
and come home

Sunday, 9 June 2019

my chemical free life minus coffee

two weeks back i saw a window and took it. gave up coffee. a storm system spread across my sky. i got sick but nothing compared to dope sick 7 years ago. just a mighty headache is all. now i start my mornings with triple leaf green tea and a smile. against all odds. i live and love my chemical free life. i can hold my head high again. i can look you in the eyes again. i worked so hard to get here. dear God, i am down on my knees...asking how can i be of maximum use? thank you for opening my eyes.

Sunday, 2 June 2019

summer

reticent was the dawn ona summer morning. the birds chatted outlandishly at the edge of the river. all the people couldn't bother. full of coffee stepping on it, reaching speeds just shy of too fast for the highway.   -katya

still life '19

summer got diluted by the stained glass. some kids were playing chess in the soft light behind. a fish in a bowl swam in it. the heat lost its arrogance on the sill. The dog asleep and the cat, up high and still.  -katya

Nectarine

I picked a nectarine out from the fruit market. My spirits rose. I took a bite and looked up. I saw the outline of the moon in a blue sky and thanked God.  -Katya

Friday, 31 May 2019

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Tuesday, 30 April 2019

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Thursday, 25 April 2019

free book



 
 


    Goodreads Book Giveaway
 

   

        Ame and the Tangy Energetic by Katya Mills
   

   

     


          Ame and the Tangy Energetic
     
     


          by Katya Mills
     

     

         
            Giveaway ends May 02, 2019.
         
         
            See the giveaway details
            at Goodreads.
         
     
   
   



    Enter Giveaway



Saturday, 13 April 2019

response to a letter

Uncle Ramon, dear man,

You describe the mood swings of our lives so well. Life wants me around now, I can hardly believe it. It's not so hard hanging on...the lows are not so low, but the work never seems to end. But it's good work. It's useful work using me. And I like it. Depression no longer has me in a stranglehold. I cannot be bullied into submission. I won the fight this time. But I know each new day is another round. K

Sunday, 31 March 2019

Author with Paperback

book review

Everlee & LeeEverlee & Lee by Katya Mills


I am the author of this title, Everlee & Lee, a dark tale revolving around a teenage boy and his sister trying to make sense of a family tragedy. Spirit life haunts the Queen Anne Victorian home in which they live. I use a rather formal (and unreal) type of dialogue on purpose. Temporal shifts accompany the telekinetic and telepathic powers of the characters. One other thing I will confide to you. I wrote this story out of the great and painful heartache I lived with, after my grandfather was essentially murdered by an awful gold digger of a woman he married. My family sued and got the money she stole from him back. Because she had the body cremated the day after his death, a case for murder was never made. Writing this story helped me find my own peace.


View all my reviews

book review

Girl Without BordersGirl Without Borders by Katya Mills


I am the author of this book. I wrote the greater portion of this book when I was in my twenties, living in Chicago on the west side (not far from where the Smashing Pumpkins got famous, and the movie High Fidelity was filmed). I used to go to the coffeeshops in Bucktown and the Polish Triangle with my laptop to write. This was late 1990s and you could get your ass kicked for writing on a laptop in public. It wasn't cool to be a geek. Writing from my protagonist Will's perspective was not difficult seeing as I am gender fluid myself. I was a pretty tough chick or I thought I was, rather angry at the world, introverted, rebellious in attitude and spirit. I hung around other punks and geeks I met in the bars, cafes and small clubs on Division and Damen, and in Wicker Park and the Ukrainian Village. All I wanted was to be left alone and write. I was in some existential pain, I suppose, lonely in my heart. So I gravitated toward others who felt injured or broken. I had more than one love/hate relationship, the characteristics of which you will find in the novel. You can call in creative nonfiction if not fiction. If you ever go to Chicago look up Quimby's bookstore and the Flat Iron Building. I wrote the greater portion of this book a stone throw away.


View all my reviews

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

Sunday, 17 March 2019

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