Monday, 25 May 2020

love over coffee

steeped in me

the essence at first

clouding my energy

then overcome


i had to put down my pen my

leather bound journal open

faced in the café i

closed my eyes and thought of you


our energies commingled here

once


the pressure of heat on water the

steam submerged in milk

endlessly colored by

coffee


we met eyes in a non-committal

slightly disinterested

affect


i felt you

looking over me now i could taste

you tasting me


steeped in me

the essence at first

clouding my energy

then overcome

Sunday, 24 May 2020

book giveaway!


Enter this contest to read my latest novella for free if you like fiction!
Please vote for my book if you like it in the UKSTORYTELLER2020 contest on Kindle!


Posted on May 24, 2020 by KatYa

Goodreads Book Giveaway
TROUBLE’99
by Katya Mills

Giveaway ends May 31, 2020.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway

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Saturday, 23 May 2020

1983

we were kids
not even ten
when we found
our hideout ina
faded olive
winter-warped
jammed door
hornet-infested
window cracked
trespass
warned
shack

middle of the pet
cemetery

i had to stop
reading books
late into the night

if i hoped to get up
early enough
to meet you all
there

but i could
not


Friday, 22 May 2020

polaroid u

you throw a tantrum you
 throw a party you
are the life you are the 
hard winters in your face the
recipe dating generations back

careless restless and reckless
the soft viable understanding
at the end of great confusion
begin again

owls in the night upsetting 
your blood pressure
you get a glass of milk you
call and no one answers you
raise high your fists you
splash around dark thoughts 
you give a damn

you pray for the strength
of conviction


#katyamills

Thursday, 21 May 2020

rock ridge

one kind word 
and the world
opened up 

the obscenity the hatred
the concrete
broke apart

one kind word in a city
of water of fire made 
passage 

a whisper
a vision

a friend


Wednesday, 20 May 2020

birds 1

the birds 
the birds 
gave my cold heart
some hope
ina song 
for the 
spring

the best

my brother
it pains me
divides us
the way i see you do not see
the world

i turn up the Smiths
to stop my heart
my heart
from hurting

take my will take
my life

all i
all i know is
my brother
you're the
fucking
best

if i could only love you
for the way you look at life
look over your shoulder
follow your arm
open my eyes
and declare yes!

yes! i see what
you see i love what
you love!

would i lie to you?
my brother

no. but i
can

i can love you
love i can
love

up mood 1

my mood drops like a beat
you answer when i
call and

 we get to our feet
walking the miles
just to meet

my mood 
rises up become a bird in
the sky

can't say exactly how
fuck i sure know
why

20

twenty days in
been dragged down
before and will
again

twenty days in
got your mind made up so
turn up your song

feel it and go
for it

like you never loved life
more

Saturday, 16 May 2020

next book?

i've been considering my next project. my next book. i'm excited to say i unearthed a treasure of archive material on my drive, files some of which i previously had trouble converting, hundreds of pages of autobiographical material dating back to my twenties and early thirties, and all the adventures i had. life was going off the rails but it sure was entertaining. lots of stories and characters i otherwise would have forgotten. i'm excited to either remix it into fiction or semi-fiction. i could publish it as straight autobiography but it's so much fun stirring it up and remixing. this has become my niche period, 1990-2010, and i hope to approach it from a completely different space.

Friday, 15 May 2020

4 am

i discover the earthquake
37 miles out of Tonopah
Nevada by the water
rippling in the pool

200 miles away!

the cats screaming bloody murder
behind this apartment building

put the coffee on
it's friday anything could happen
save the kid surrender yourself
to a riptide

it can be beautiful
devastating

what a commotion
as we roll into
the weekend





Thursday, 14 May 2020

98



like a bullet with a tracer
ink shoots off your 
arm

a bitterness
on the tongue 
at work

like a dance the tears
play up the eyes

level the bottle 
nudge of the wrist
cold heart heats 
up then 
rest

you wake to the sun
where you lay

breath and thoughts
in motion push 
against

 volumes of 
memory


#katyamills
remix

Wednesday, 13 May 2020

may 13

how we missed you
in the heart of the pandemic
we got you second
hand

through rain through snow
upon us

the sunlight
striking

those of us alone
the way we register fear

the wind

how much is lost
without your
touch



Tuesday, 12 May 2020

MAY 12 2020

i grew up in a complicated world
lots of adult parties and American businessmen
lots of stay at home moms in
competition

now
many years later
i make a simple life
a working life
not too many friends
i keep to myself

i could not recreate the world i once lived in
i could not and would not
it was never my world

i love the simple life
the working life
neither destructive nor uninspired
diving into mysteries

Monday, 11 May 2020

prayer



carries to god then
back down to 
earth palms touch
marked by crescent lines
destiny moves in
and out of self
brokering wilderness
in a heavy
 heart

Sunday, 10 May 2020

one.only

falling
        down
     a rocky
hill
over the handlebars of your bike
swimming when the pool
was closed howling when
all the world was quiet
then i saw you then
i knew
you for my
one my
only

Saturday, 9 May 2020

run with the night

you run with the night you
sleep in the sun
an inchworm stretches out
on your thumb you 
sleep through the day and run
with the night 
you live 

you live 
in the
light


#katyamills

Hyde Park Cafe. 1997

all is elevated
this floor over the earth
this table the grain flush
above the floor the arms
of the couch free
falling bodies at half a perpendicular
snaking lethargically like
my thoughts

elevated

eight sided glasses
opening rims up to the sky
fan blades cutting through a plane
brass reliefs flowering
rooted to the ceiling

thursday night
all is elevated

twenty three
high on coffee high on
dreams


#katyamills 
remix

JANUARY 9, 1997

thin as a grain of wheat
rarely uprooted from his chair
black cat at his feet
waiting for the next meal
the next dream

traded freedom to his granddaughter
so he wouldn't have to live in a home

eyes red around the rim
voice deep within the throat
bones coated with dust like the painting
of his long since passed wife
hanging on the wall behind him

six foot three he can still
touch the sky
i used to jitterbug he says
and smiles. heart following memory
up the gulf coast
across the panhandle
all the way back to California

when he's upset
sometimes he swears (the gravel
spitting off his thunder)
GIVE ME THE KEYS! i'll drive there my
damn self i will!
alone? she questions, eyes bulging
ALONE!

and i
i believe him
you better hide those keys
tonight


#katyamills
remix 1997

Friday, 8 May 2020

BOOK RELEASE!


TROUBLE'99TROUBLE'99 by Katya Mills


This 42,000 word book represents a project I started two years ago, digging into my archives for material. The book is set in Chicago where I lived for 10 years of my life, and my intention was to capture the spirit of twentysomethings at the turn of the century. My first published novel, Girl Without Borders, covers the same historical ground, so if you enjoyed GWB you most likely will find Trouble'99 a sort of homecoming yet with different characters. This story follows four friends and comrades, facing hard luck in both love and life in the city. I hope you like it.


View all my reviews

Thursday, 7 May 2020

runaways

we drank hot chocolate from silver-rimmed china
around a polished wooden table

i found your big toe beneath it
punching through the canvas
while eating macaroons

why are you running away?
she asked us

i stood up tall
on my toes

you would too
if your home
was like ours

the leader

my brother has been storing acorns
how will we find food when leaves
curl up in the cold? we will eat them
so to fill up the hollow spaces 
between our ribs. i will get the
last acorn because i am
the leader

Sunday, 3 May 2020

NOVEMBER 22 1997

playing crazy eights listening to music
talking trash fighting getting high
twentysomethings in the late 1900s
spilling drinks spilling consciousness
on the dance floors of YBOR CITY

a blackout drinker in those days i
would lose my credit card and eventually
my wallet my shoes and my keys
my sanity. early hours of the morning
nothing but my clothes and my high on
and a couple phone numbers of friends
in my head.

blonde

you came to my door selling candles
and applespice tea in blonde wooden
boxes. i bought the one with a dragon
holding a sword. the kind you wanna
carve into your arm some day

#katyamills
remix 1998

Friday, 1 May 2020

projection of a long lost high 5

begotten children descend
planted according to trend
dropped like fashion
and spirited away

taken from vision with
binary ocular precision
Made In America!
by decree by
decision

you try to defragment you
hope for some clarity then
comes trouble. another
greenish colored bubble
eating bacteria to survive

projections of a long lost
heartfelt high
five

living off lip service the echelons
make hay. they
promise to play out tomorrows
today

robbed of nutrients you forgot
who you are. exercise occurs between
edifice and car

doing the laundry
you cycle back to humble
removing the factory tag
carry the sadness ina brown
paper bag



#katyamills
remix 2010