Sunday 31 May 2020

back yourself up

we danced to the old songs dated
back when life seemed less

complicated less strung out

on media talking to us from our pockets our screens keeping tabs all
night and day long we danced freely like we had some kind of voice some kind of choice in this automated cyber world you really gotta know deep down who you are

download yourself or get
tagged archived judged and encrypted
back yourself up

(less than) lethal

the people come together
pelted by rubber bullets burned
by tear gas. fuck the pandemic! they
will not be detained

the force is lethal
calls itself less than
less than lethal but make no mistake
whatever label they slap on
the force is lethal
it can kill you make
no mistake it can and


litigation can take
the spine out of any


if you had a heart you cried if
you had a heart you shouted out
against the unspeakable 
horror if you

if you had a heart it broke and maybe 
you could not control yourself 
for a while

grieving these systemic patterns 
you could not bear to remain


out on the streets
where a drop became many
a stream became a river 
an ocean of

against the unfeeling

dredging up a particle of hope
there to see where
we were not

Friday 29 May 2020


they wield extreme power they can kill you in public
and will. and did. again. George Floyd. we expressed outrage
six feet away from the sidewalk to the ends of the earth. we
who have hearts alive and beating
theft and what did you expect? fires. broken glass. mayhem and what
america? what did you expect? you hunt and trap our friends our comrades
helpless. caged. handcuffed on the ground all the breath forced out of them. another life
stolen another family loss. a community. a nation of communities.
america you will wake up from your imperial dream you will. the
institutionalized isms will be eradicated. we won't let you sleep our country
means to much to us. leaders arise to deliver
social justice. free shipping. cops accused of murder. found
guilty. based on facts. convicted. sentenced to life
or death

Thursday 28 May 2020


when you feel unwanted
like static
to airwaves


only you
can see see how
essential you

stay true to

anchored between

even static has its righteous
place in this

Wednesday 27 May 2020

what the hell

i didn't know
what the hell i 
was doing
i lacked insight
i lacked judgment
but i did what i did
and i did
what i could
and survived and
now i know
what the

Tuesday 26 May 2020

keep dreaming

when you finally let
the old dream go
you can get down
to really living

they say

but who?
who can live?
who can live without

Monday 25 May 2020

love over coffee

the essence steeped
clouding my energy then
i put down my pen
leather bound journal open
faced in the café i
closed my eyes and thought 
of you
our energies once
commingled here
the pressure of heat on water the
steam submerged in milk
endlessly colored by
coffee how we met eyes
ina non-committal
slightly disinterested
i felt you
looking over me i could taste
you tasting me
steeped in me
the essence at first clouded
my energy
then i was
i was

Sunday 24 May 2020

book giveaway!

Enter this contest to read my latest novella for free if you like fiction!
Please vote for my book if you like it in the UKSTORYTELLER2020 contest on Kindle!

Posted on May 24, 2020 by KatYa

Goodreads Book Giveaway
by Katya Mills

Giveaway ends May 31, 2020.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway

Rate this:

Saturday 23 May 2020


we were kids
not even ten
when we found
our hideout ina
faded olive
window cracked

middle of the pet

i had to stop
reading books
late into the night
if i hoped to get up
early enough
to meet you all

but i could

Friday 22 May 2020

polaroid u

are the life you are the 
hard seasons the
recipe dating generations

careless restless and reckless
the soft viable understanding
at the end of a great confusion
soon escapes you

owls in the night upset 
your blood pressure you
throw parties you create
and destroy

you drink endless glasses
of milk and bourbon you
call and no one answers

raise high your fists you
splash around dark thoughts 
and then

and then one day
you give a damn you
really do you seek forgiveness
and the strength of

you change but all they see
is a snapshot a

you upset the blood
pressure you reek of hard seasons
recipes dating back to a great

all that is left of you
is your change

open your fists and let
your hands meet. look
up to the sky. may the soft
and viable understanding
save you


Thursday 21 May 2020

rock ridge

one kind word
and the new world
opened up 

the obscenity
the hatred
the judgment 
the old concrete
broke apart

one kind word ina city
of water of engine of
fire of steam made 

to the heart

ina whisper
ina vision
ina friend

Wednesday 20 May 2020

may 20 2020


the birds
gave my heart
some hope
ina song 
for the 

the best

my brother
it pains me
divides us
the way i see you do not see
the world

i turn up the Smiths
to stop my heart
my heart
from hurting

take my will take
my life

all i
all i know is
my brother
you're the

if i could only love you
for the way you look at life
look over your shoulder
follow your arm
open my eyes
and declare yes!

yes! i see what
you see i love what
you love!

would i lie to you?
my brother

no. but i

i can love you
love i can

up mood 1

my mood drops like a beat
you answer when i
call and

 we get to our feet
walking the miles
just to meet

my mood 
rises up become a bird in
the sky

can't say exactly how
fuck i sure know


twenty days in
been dragged down
before and will

twenty days in
got your mind made up so
turn up your song

feel it and go
for it

like you never loved life

Saturday 16 May 2020

next book?

i've been considering my next project. my next book. i'm excited to say i unearthed a treasure of archive material on my drive, files some of which i previously had trouble converting, hundreds of pages of autobiographical material dating back to my twenties and early thirties, and all the adventures i had. life was going off the rails but it sure was entertaining. lots of stories and characters i otherwise would have forgotten. i'm excited to either remix it into fiction or semi-fiction. i could publish it as straight autobiography but it's so much fun stirring it up and remixing. this has become my niche period, 1990-2010, and i hope to approach it from a completely different space.

Friday 15 May 2020

4 am

i discover the earthquake
37 miles out of Tonopah
Nevada by the water
rippling in the pool

200 miles away!

the cats screaming bloody murder
behind this apartment building

put the coffee on
it's friday anything could happen
save the kid surrender yourself
to a riptide

it can be beautiful

what a commotion
as we roll into
the weekend

Thursday 14 May 2020


like a bullet with a tracer
ink shoots off your 

a bitterness
on the tongue 
at work

like a dance the tears
play up the eyes

level the bottle 
nudge of the wrist
cold heart heats 
up then 

you wake to the sun
where you lay

breath and thoughts
in motion push 

 volumes of 


Wednesday 13 May 2020

may 13

how we missed you
in the heart of the pandemic
we got you second

through rain through snow
upon us

the sunlight

those of us alone
the way we register fear

the wind

how much is lost
without your

Tuesday 12 May 2020

MAY 12 2020

i grew up in a complicated world
lots of adult parties and American businessmen
lots of stay at home moms in

many years later
i make a simple life
a working life
not too many friends
i keep to myself

i could not recreate the world i once lived in
i could not and would not
it was never my world

i love the simple life
the working life
neither destructive nor uninspired
diving into mysteries

Monday 11 May 2020


carries to god then
back down to 
earth palms touch
marked by crescent lines
destiny moves in
and out of self
brokering wilderness
in a heavy

Sunday 10 May 2020


     a rocky
over the handlebars of your bike
swimming when the pool
was closed howling when
all the world was quiet
then i saw you then
i knew
you for my
one my

Saturday 9 May 2020

run with the night

you run with the night you
sleep in the sun
an inchworm stretches out
on your thumb you 
sleep through the day and run
with the night 
you live 

you live 
in the


Hyde Park Cafe. 1997

all is elevated
this floor over the earth
this table the grain flush
above the floor the arms
of the couch free
falling bodies at half a perpendicular
snaking lethargically like
my thoughts


eight sided glasses
opening rims up to the sky
fan blades cutting through a plane
brass reliefs flowering
rooted to the ceiling

thursday night
all is elevated

twenty three
high on coffee high on


JANUARY 9, 1997

thin as a grain of wheat
rarely uprooted from his chair
black cat at his feet
waiting for the next meal
the next dream

traded freedom to his granddaughter
so he wouldn't have to live in a home

eyes red around the rim
voice deep within the throat
bones coated with dust like the painting
of his long since passed wife
hanging on the wall behind him

six foot three he can still
touch the sky
i used to jitterbug he says
and smiles. heart following memory
up the gulf coast
across the panhandle
all the way back to California

when he's upset
sometimes he swears (the gravel
spitting off his thunder)
GIVE ME THE KEYS! i'll drive there my
damn self i will!
alone? she questions, eyes bulging

and i
i believe him
you better hide those keys

remix 1997

Friday 8 May 2020


TROUBLE'99TROUBLE'99 by Katya Mills

This 42,000 word book represents a project I started two years ago, digging into my archives for material. The book is set in Chicago where I lived for 10 years of my life, and my intention was to capture the spirit of twentysomethings at the turn of the century. My first published novel, Girl Without Borders, covers the same historical ground, so if you enjoyed GWB you most likely will find Trouble'99 a sort of homecoming yet with different characters. This story follows four friends and comrades, facing hard luck in both love and life in the city. I hope you like it.

View all my reviews

Thursday 7 May 2020


we drank hot chocolate from silver-rimmed china
around a polished wooden table

i found your big toe beneath it
punching through the canvas
while eating macaroons

why are you running away?
she asked us

i stood up tall
on my toes

you would too
if your home
was like ours

the leader

my brother has been storing acorns
how will we find food when leaves
curl up in the cold? we will eat them
so to fill up the hollow spaces 
between our ribs. i will get the
last acorn because i am
the leader

Sunday 3 May 2020

NOVEMBER 22 1997

playing crazy eights listening to music
talking trash fighting getting high
twentysomethings in the late 1900s
spilling drinks spilling consciousness
on the dance floors of YBOR CITY

a blackout drinker in those days i
would lose my credit card and eventually
my wallet my shoes and my keys
my sanity. early hours of the morning
nothing but my clothes and my high on
and a couple phone numbers of friends
in my head.


you came to my door selling candles
and applespice tea in blonde wooden
boxes. i bought the one with a dragon
holding a sword. the kind you wanna
carve into your arm some day

remix 1998

Friday 1 May 2020

projection of a long lost high 5

begotten children descend
planted according to trend
dropped like fashion
and spirited away

taken from vision with
binary ocular precision
Made In America!
by decree by

you try to defragment you
hope for some clarity then
comes trouble. another
greenish colored bubble
eating bacteria to survive

projections of a long lost
heartfelt high

living off lip service the echelons
make hay. they
promise to play out tomorrows

robbed of nutrients you forgot
who you are. exercise occurs between
edifice and car

doing the laundry
you cycle back to humble
removing the factory tag
carry the sadness ina brown
paper bag

remix 2010