july random writings and stuff

 Darla she dropped out of school and moved to the coast. It's not a crime to want to be happy, she would say. She worked as a cemetery docent and got into crafts. Anything washed up on the shore was fair game. ya. that was how I met Darla.

Descend with one knee
it was the moment she had been waiting for
and her cheeks blushed
when he looked up
it was pain 

it was horror
sweetheart?
yes my love ... yes?
I think ive torn my
meniscus

a dagger of geese ascends above the palpable memory of the dream I'm trying to rub out my eyes. a restaurant. I saw you. Freddy! you looked like you always had. alive! you gave me a colored string to remember by. i tie the baby's tooth around my neck.

1am. a confused looking indigent stands in the road. 

I put on my hazards and get out to help. 

they charge and knock me down 

yelling - look into my eyes! 

Okay. I will... 

2am. I am standing in the road. 

look. look into 

my eyes!

a tailwind threw off the scent. the whole pack looked upon her with benevolence. she somehow outlasted the hunt and made it home. a dog's teeth had torn her ear. the marking rendered an aura of 'do not fuck with me' for years to come

it was her turn a boy made a hold and she stepped up above all the heads rocking out to Mannequin Pussy she fell back laughing and surfed toward the stage

mosswood in the moss pit. punk is more than music it's an attitude it's an expression. its a queer and disturbed and fierce family. its a lifestyle. grateful for everyone who brought us together and John Waters. and a big F-you to the system!

the river set out to conquer the land 

in league with the summer rains 

cresting the earthen walls 

made to contain it

a young woman 

head shaved 

shed her ego on 

the flooded 

plains

by Katya Mills. 2026

posts 5.23

on a planet 

the color of rose 

we immerse the rows 

in liquid metal 

so not to come 

undone 

in the cold heat 

of absent 

sun 

not want for courage
i am spent from these dealings
the theme lingers
producing images and words
i hope to say or convey
useless i flop on the couch
in the pulsing light
it’s my something sweet
comes with painful
era

the forms spoke 

with intent 

at the pace of earths 

rotation 

the angle 

a bellicosity lent 

casting stark 

shadows upon the moss 

time 

took the rose off 

and left her 

spent 

nevertheless 

malcontent

she made waves she made a lot of enemies speaking her mind she made waves and you don’t always make friends making waves … at least they know you are more than a pulse

athens georgia was chock full of misfits … she hit 3 coffeehouses in 6 hours and they threatened to call security simply because she was asking about a croissant after ten minutes waiting wtf? 

graduates rolling on the grass making out

subdivision two. 3am

fears of perdition troubled the sleep. she turned pages letting the characters affection wash over her

she allowed herself a sugar cookie with oat milk

attended by the creatures of the night

original poetry by Katya Mills 2026

‪Katya Mills‬ ‪@katya444ever.bsky.social‬

Journal Entries #3.21.26

when working my intensity blurs at times like a cataract I guess it's just all these years on earth I've been so lucky to have. from this opaque coordinate my spirit becomes my greatest sense. i lean into it. coffee helps too. there was nothing opulent nothing of splendor there. a table. a chair. the walls were bare. some natural light. these were the conditions I demanded to work. oh. and a lock on every door. the only jewelry i wore was a necklace made from the watch chain from a boy who loved me. the tags of all my animals I loved and lost played a song on the sternum.

on the walk I saw him
bonny lad 

standing proud 

long black hair 

brown skin 

facing south 

it took me by surprise 

2 realize it was you 

my old friend 

conjuring 

so I can know 

you are well

made of precious metals in this plastic world filled with hate and nonsense. they were focused on connection and only used their drones to open eyes and hearts to pretty land and sea scapes. hope was absent but they pressed on. the world got colder. everyone at war. not just factions and flags. my extremities went a little numb. not to worry. pulled on a hat and fuzzy socks. then some bombs fell and I could not feel my heart. made a distress call. your warmth kept me alive. I love you

She paved a trivial highway. I listened. then opened my mouth like a bird before dawn speaking into a forest. She paved right over me. I wanted to punch her in the gut! you cannot do it over the phone.

 you surpass yourself! i declared

a jet left a creamy stitch in the sky 

as day and night

divide 

in the middle 

east 

hungry mouths open 

wide

A piece I wrote was published here in March ... https://latinosenglishedition.blog/2026/03/11/strange-euphoria-by-katya-mills/

Katya Mills, 3.21.26

(the above fragments were all published in variations on BlueSky and X over the past 2 weeks)

Journal Entry # 3.1.26

We were blind with it wet with it inside the foggy morning. I cut a piece out and pocketed it to touch in moments of despair. In the empire the interest rates climbed up from a base and everything out of reach. They left us to die in our phones. And then – your kiss



I go 2 you
blatant
my love for you
stops me in my pensive world
before you
there was no one
could drag me out of
there
no one
now like a cat
to birdsong
I go
everything stops
when you
call



‘ode to cat’

kiss you on your orange bouncy ears I see you. you used to perch in high places and watch me. I had to find you. 13 years on earth my beloved and now you approach me every morning. writing. I have to stop. I see you. can you please live forever? I love you



2.19.26

the poison wept and ran down the forearms. a queen castigates the bishop in the shadow of the castle. the skin mystified calls the blood to battle. we will never give in. no matter how you frighten us with your machines. she held him. could not speak.



stricken

crazed by an idea I must pursue before attention’s span fractures into atomic weak diversions like thread coming apart when you tug leaving your longing a silvery flash 2 vanish

one request

take me with you on your quest I will make your coffee b4 the rising sun interpret maps and stars with you when the day is done

inspired by imperialist mentalities they decided they could not help the ones trodden under the gears so they worked simply 4 status 4 prestige 4 family 4 country. in time they became knowingly unkind. blind. blaming the downtrodden for their condition

came back from dying obsessed with living came back from lying obsessed with honesty came back from apathy obsessed with trying feeling crying. to hell with all that self-pitying immolation and dying

bravo!

stellar be sure u amplify it on your platform. she brushed the wine off her lips and almost lost her balance. fuc u Darla. fuc u. she went to leave and stopped when he cried out. im lonely! well. she thought aren’t we all then? Billy. drink water. c u later



touched by limerence

first with my eyes I follow you overlooking these aperitifs these tangent sentimentalities my intrigue shifts orbital I center you pin my body to the outskirts of a dissolute party dreaming of you against me entangled if nothing else



She could not

slow down thought or image. the velocity was incredible at night lying in bed. She could not read a simple book or share a simple conversation. She shut her eyes in prayer. It went on like this for several weeks.



all entries by #KatyaMills @ 2026

journal entries # 2.16.26

when the body

touched down
in the shallow paupers
grave

the earth held it
like it had not been
held

and the face
bloodless looked
up blind

searching the sky
for the soul



i could not explain away the lacuna without consulting the gods who told me in a hundred beads fallen from my wrist in a sun shower in the middle of the night where I had been. remembering I cried. and wrote it down as fast as I could before it went out on the tides


invasion of dawn over the land … choreographed waves of influencers and who is who in a sanitized place beam out in sizzling satellite emissions then recede … in the silence in the dark I can finally breathe. I can feel joy and heartache and love living

it was freeing seeing her reflection touching nail beds to the curve of this planet she carved each follicle uplifting her thoughts drifting farther from the ache of memory chrome of razor catching light beneath her wrist like the lake where he drowned





by #katyamills

journal entry #5

2.9.26 

all I am is breath. transparency. like the materials you chose to adorn me with. pellucidity of desire. my bones dissolve in your embrace deep in these high count hotel casino sheets. tonight I bring you luck. I am your ace

2.2.26 

only you can. they cannot imprison your soul

2.3.26 

the pain I endure comes less from culture wars and dissipated love or the malaise I feel in my tummy than from the minutes the hours rife with possibility I squander in the doomscrolling semiconsciousness of this our modern age


2.4.26 

the photo of her fell off the wall. her mother and sister recalled it was just after breakfast. they were picking up the shattered glass. only much later did they learn she had lost her life that morning. many miles away in Vienna.


2.5.26 

destitute unwashed unshaven uncertain if he was hallucinating a world full of apathy toward his condition he left with one charitable gaze from an otherwise insolent boy lambent in heart


2.6.26 

the wound came in various colors across the years and could not fully heal without the medicine you were unwilling to give. your apathy betrayed you. I cared less and less and less (about you). I guess it was contagious. It is sad. Yet I feel so deeply I know I've moved on


2.7.26 

before where she stood she saw what was not there. her blood her heart made itself known in her chest pursued by the shadow she cannot best. terrified to believe she was no different than them. this inheritance of mine. can it not be sublimated for good?

2.8.26

so pale
the world becomes 

by the end when the shadow 

once integrated 

disintegrated

by #katyamills 2026

las vegas 2025 impressions

Here in Las Vegas sense can jump out of you the berry of your cigarette burning your lip brings you back feel around your pockets for your wallet (if you even) find it it's empty ... play Keno with the same numbers until you win. you cannot survive fascism if money is everything. if you do not speak up you lose. you cannot see if you are lost on your phone. do something for anyone ... after the rains the desert air is good on the lungs and one holiday morning we are walking between casinos so alive hunting for coffee when an old man in a yellow tracksuit on a scooter slices a path between a man and two women on the sidewalk to a chorus of fuck yous ... hey sky and trace clouds! hey sun! come on up this final Friday of the year played out ... you don't need to struggle anymore. if you can, just be with someone you love and who loves you. have breakfast in bed... take the longest drive home.  

#katyamills

publication

My story was published today by Juan De Crivelo

here ...

 https://latinosenglishedition.wordpress.com/2025/12/22/you-were-i-was-by-katya-mills/

#katyamills

18

the chambers

reeked of pine sol and plastic 

a humble veneer 

distorted egos 

foundation of fear 

many stood and applauded 

the legislation 

out of touch with 

the nation 

tired parents 

try 2 comfort 

nonbinary 

kids 

one day 

if you don't end your life 

you will turn 

eighteen

#katyamills

apprehension

in this foggy dreariness

we do recall the bright bright sunny

with hopes for its

return






the forecast ...

marine layer

cold to the bone

rain






we put our hearts together

and map out a week

in the desert






a ten hour drive




no more waiting

go and apprehend your

dream






#katyamills

crystallize

an SOS signal

flashed from a spotlight beaming 

across the unsettled surface of the lake

the memory crystallized into a value 

firing up the powerboat 

and heading out to help 

the ones stranded 

in the channel

#katyamills

ghost train 2025

 

  

by Katya Mills

one

October 

of fallen apples 

bored by worms

 green 

and reddish 

moon

orchards the color

of dying

soon

a locomotive 

emerged from a mist

hauling rusted boxcars

through town

unmarked

like a tombstone 

slate

telling nothing

of a poor man’s

fate

the earth 

trembled 

the spider

clutching 

its web

she rumbled down the rails

across the cemetery grounds

raising bodies from eternal slumber

racking her bones

along the factory 

row

dusty faded

brick and mortar

façades

trailed by packs

of snaggle-tooth

hounds

sparking her irons

with arduous

howls

i came to consciousness

in my bed

the only light

 the wood eating 

flames

the tall windows

holding back

torrential

rains

absorbing

her engine steam

smoke-white

grains

a chilling shrill whistle

dropped to baritone

then bass

drew me out 

treacherously

nonsensically

        to the streets

in my overcoat

shivering

i watched her

go by

the crossings

deferential

somehow

like an invitation

how silent 

the bells 

painted gates 

wide open

red lights

dormant

suddenly 

i felt myself

 edging some 

precipice

one gasp

and

i had taken

my last

my body 

sheet white

fell limp 

in the dirt

snagged like a 

vagabond 

neck ina

noose

i grasped 

these iron rungs

in the wind

with heaving

lungs

oh ghost train

what terrors 

you hold

framing the landscape

in burning 

cold

oh scarecrow

what terrors you seen

hung up 

in cornfields

where the murders

been

someone

please

will you?

light a candle

for the lost

to find their way

through the frost

toll a bell

for the ones

left behind

antifash

 she took a drag so long to the lungs it made good enough ash to cover up and smudge the memory out on early morning city streets with her brothers and sisters white brown black. young. restless. angry. thirsting for a better world. irreverent. antifash 

poetry by #katyamills

come up

the blur of memory laughing with friends antagonized by the enemy falling into low vibration energy we isolate the problem only to discover it's not us we look up to the stars and polish our eyes with our fists tracing the scars on our wrists we come up 

#katyamills

9.23.25

there were subtle signs concealed cash flows influencer click bait they even tipped the faith productions with promise of stained glass cathedrals what we knew to be catastrophe they designated a beautiful day in history. #katyamills

per.haps

perhaps the light inside you can be channeled 2 dissipate the various hells perhaps the best days are ahead the pain will inform gratitude perhaps the kids born today will love paperbacks and the benevolent ones when they die watch over us.     #katyamills

September

they beat us up

broke us down 

took our dignity 

we went home 

tails between legs 

to mommas tearful 

embrace 

reinvigorated 

by love and 

kindness

#katyamills

syn

 oh synthesis of light and dark chocolate stirred with coffee softness layered stark. satin finish of the skies conflict in the heart the touch and then depart with bittersweet goodbyes

#katyamills

style no.1

they broke down. out of petrol. it was an old car with no sensors. fuck this useless fuel gauge let's go. they grabbed their backpacks and walked the highway. no panic. they had a style you just don't see much anymore

'lemon' by Katya Mills

a poem I wrote was published here ...

 https://latinosenglishedition.wordpress.com/2025/09/09/lemon-by-katya-mills/