Sunday, 30 November 2014

a nightmare. non-fiction

The nightmares came heavy last night, beneath the weight of blankets on a cold and dark night, all alone. In these dreams, the ones I loved would show up. They wanted to see me. They wanted to pick me up and take me away from a gnarly city scene; some great hall that was now a shadow of its former glory. Abandoned. I wanted to go with them, my sweets, but I was held back. I wrestled with this choice. Like usual, I could scarcely breathe. These neuroses! They always find me! I was trying to protect something from a thief. I wanted to leave a couple of bags of my belongings, but I was certain they were not safe. I was chiding a thief. I had a long winded speech to a gathering crowd of indigent peoples, on the nature of thievery. They were restless at first, not really listening, but as I expounded on the subject with such great force and mastery of the language, tired eyes arose to look. And listen. I was watching and listening to myself. I felt pride and animosity. A bittersweet occasion! By the end some were cheering. I had denounced a human being. All the while, the ones I had loved had given up waiting, and gone and left without me.

Saturday, 29 November 2014

be chosen

the rain
the rain she
wash away
the pain

the pain
the pain she
left us

a calm
the calm she
over all

the lights
go down
the sun

we can
once again


we can
we can twice

we can
three times
in loving

thawed out
choose to be

Tuesday, 25 November 2014


"I went with her there, to the heat, and my eyes also turned a shade orange-red; and the poor devil, his focus all glued into my head and my hair, the little song on his breath, reaching out like he was finger-painting now, suddenly struck by the force of heat radiating out from us, and all of it electric. And our bodies now glowing, I opened myself to her lead, merely an extension now of her fire. He may as well have touched a live wire, when he went to finally caress the back of my neck with his hand, dropping his palm on my shoulder. The force threw him back, I swear! Physically he was up lifted and fell back, and rolled down the hill. Jack and Jill. But Jill would not come tumbling after." -K.

Saturday, 22 November 2014

the girl with her life off its hinges

"We found her in that room again, a room with a door off its hinges; a girl with her life off its hinges. She was happy to see us, but her joy was capped off where it met her subsistence. I gave her a long and emotional embrace. Reaching her was like reaching down into a hole, and groping around for a sign of life. And finding one." - K.

Wednesday, 19 November 2014


"I would give in to her, and only her. All she had to do was rearrange the stars to spell my name in the sky. Sure, she could have the totality of me. All she had to do was compel the Buddha out from under that tree, to come and sit beside me. Ya, then I would be hers. All she had to do was pave the streets in platinum, put pearls around my neck and ankle, ink our love forever in a secret place on her body, put an end to all my pain, dress me in black with a white rose behind my ear, ask my hand of my divinity, by the thought heard around the world. I had no lofty demands! All she had to do was marry me, in San Francisco City Hall, with a sea of origami white ravens overlooking. I was easy! All she had to was what she did last night, a hundred and one times over, and love me down to my cotton stuffed ears and black button eyes, my DIY made soul patched together with fishing line leftovers." -K

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Sisters (excerpt)

" I edged up behind her until our hips were touching, and put my arm around her waist and a fingertip in her belly button, to comfort her. Freddy was in the bathtub, just staring at the ceiling with his eyes focused out. “Well, they’ve taken over all right, that I can see” I said to my dead little sister. " -K

Saturday, 15 November 2014


" He came alongside me, as I followed far behind the night watchman and the faraway sound of the lantern, steady swinging, as he navigated the steppes of organized chaos, the rows of tombstones and monuments, and graves with no marker, the trees, and the possums in them, leaning over the site; palms hanging their spiked, punk up-dos over the mysterious air, running the water from the roots, pulling life mixed with rain, the nutrients of embedded memories of those who once roamed the earth, back above ground into the winding skinny trunks, high up over it all, so they could have eyes again over the resting place, and still find a sacred place in the sun. "  - K

Friday, 14 November 2014


Another teaser from my novella, Daughter of Darkness, to be published some time very soon, before year end, on

"College Avenue went from spaced out service stations and seven elevens and bars and adult video stores, to tree-lined boutiques with potted flowers and architect-touched storefronts with engravings and latticework and faux shutters, colorfully painted doors and entryways. Really an enjoyable stroll up and on past the Rockridge Bart station north, and now there were fraternity boys and sorority girls in threes, drunk as hell and laughing like hyenas. The man kept walking at his easy pace with his cane tap tapping the cement before him, and he blended in so well I don’t believe anyone even saw him, he was such a staple looking dude with his country jacket and flannel shirt, and polished saddle heeled boots and silver shock of receding hair. I believe he was immediately taken for a wealthy indifferent Berkeley landlord. And he probably was! Since the sixties and the flower children made international headlines, they paved the road for property owners in this town now city, and inadvertently got everyone rich except themselves."  -K

My novella will be classifed as a dark literary fiction, urban setting. Many of my characters are street level operators with subtle sense powers. (I hate to say 'dark fantasy' or 'paranormal' so I won't!) My characters are grounded in present time realities, and it reads like a contemporary fiction. I will be selling it for a buck or a buck fifty. My debut novel is currently available on, but also can be found at Barnes & Nobles (ebook) and Createspace. Thanks for stopping by! 

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Daughter Of Darkness TEaSeR

An excerpt from my soon to be released novella...

"Stay. Stay here with me, with you, with the world. Stil. Still your fears, let them coagulate into a lifeless form. Pull. Let me pull them out of you, so you can stay. Stay here with me, with you, with the world in all its desensationalism. Draw. let me draw out of you that too which you cling, here in the shadow of San Francisco, in this ageless night of Broadway and her storefront theatrefront shining, pimping, fronting, sinning, drinking, smoking, screaming, flowing trade of flesh and desire to no end. Down Auto Row I walked, secretly chewing on a hundred lost city souls along the way, leaving them each and every one not as dust, no, leaving them no longer weary in their ways, some standing, leaning against the brick facades or street signs, tipping their hats up now so the street can see their eyes, some walking, slower now not faster, able to stop thoughts and worries and feel the air if nothing else, some unfolding out of some hidden corner to zero, shivering a little less, realizing that they are the warmth in a cold dark night and nothing less, and nothing less than zero, so the only way might be up and out, so yes, as you watch me fade east into the bright night and know me for carrying you to some neon orange hope away from fear, the time is now, the energy is available to you freely, sons and daughters of human kind, open your eyes, yes, see that it may not be so bad as you had it out to be, and only you can not be a victim of only your circumstance, only you can hasten headlong to your death, only you can make your very next move or be otherwise static yours, and swallowed by the fear strikes you sound."

Monday, 10 November 2014


I was hot with a madness. I was becoming accustomed to the darkness inherent in me. I may not have been happy about the violent quality, but I accepted it. I was conscious of it. I was not running from it anymore. The immediacy! I could access the power. I could nurse on the fear. I could feel it, I could compel it out of a human with no remorse." - K

Saturday, 8 November 2014


"Sure, I might go overboard (and our kind always did) and reduce them to hourglass sand, but why not show me some love? And come out karmically ahead? Have the courage to sit across from me and suck tapioca into the fat straw with sweet and cool, fresh green tea. We need not talk. Just look me in my eyes for a minute, and watch as the good feeling rises up in you, and you begin to have that long lost energetic you had when you were just a child, and fearless." - K

Thursday, 6 November 2014

NaNo ExCeRpT

"I was in the trenches of Oakland our fair and broken iron maiden, Cinderella, at the feet of San Francisco, watching her dirty bay waters wash up against her, expected to do all her dirty work and keep her gates golden. Most of the darker minded or skinned people of the world to black of black panthers found shelter if not sanctuary in the dark heart of Oakland, after spending days traveling across or under the Bay to get paid watching over the wealth, running the elevators, answering to someone, serving their food and drink, dealing with their homeless, driving their buses, shining their shoes, entertaining them at night, entertaining them in the day, doing their laundry, walking their pets, cleaning their apartments, houses, bathrooms, schools, offices, and consciences." -Katya

Saturday, 1 November 2014


Design by Katya, 2014
Starting today, I am writing into my second year of the National Novel Writing Month, with an eye toward the continuation of a series I started last year. I am excited! This is a literary fiction set in Oakland, California. Female protagonist, first-person narrative. Last year, November, the words spun out of me and wove what looks to be shaping up well as Book One and Book Two of the series.

I hope to finish editing Book One by year end, latest. The 'beta reader' response was very encouraging. The story is character-driven and has elements of dark fantasy, but certainly classifies much closer to Literary Fiction.

I plan to release Book One, Daughter of Darkness, as a Novella on, beside my other publications. All have been well-received in the marketplace, with 4-5 star ratings. My indy author page is located here: KATYA MILLS . Thank you for all your support!