12.31.21

the last of the last 

of the last of the year

may we open our eyes

like 4 the first 

time   #katyamills

DIDION

i often pedal down your street 

the home where you grew up 

by the Sacramento Bee 

you can taste the print coming off the papers

cross-pollinating

not unlike how your words 

and your life indelible 

touched us    #katyamills

be the one

be the one 

unafraid

to admit when you are

wrong

you may be

the only one

be the one

#katyamills

workers on break

slowed heartbeats

inhaling the rain 

on break

stirring grounds 

in the kettle

pushing the embers

cutting earth out of the sole

with a blade

cherishing a smoke

with a friend

#katyamills

Thiebaud

all the cakes and pies gumballs turned out the machines bouncing off kitchen floors produced the precise sugar rush required to render the masterpieces san francisco streets the geometry of farms and orchards touched by sunlight divided by river within the delta

#katyamills

cash out

farewell to the holiday bonus sucked into these machines relentless sound smoke and show farewell to the players pale hanging off they drinks rinky-dinks indefinito forgot how to think what time or day what the hell to say no cash 2 cash out no getaway #katyamills

Ione

one lonely night in Ione

headlights pawing the foothills 4 life 

my heart whispered 

the truth beneath these shields

of rain and wind

that though we may be better off apart

distant relatives is the sorriest

combination and god only knows

where my life would be 

without you

#katyamills

Y

long we lived 

in darkness. wonder 

not y we worship 

the sun

#katyamills

12.22.21

the rains came down hard 

sleep escaped me for some time i 

dreamt my car was broken in and 

had a run in with the cops

when i awoke i cried to the kittens who 

replied by flourishes of tail

you only have today 

so make the most! make 

the most!

#katyamills

california psychotherapist

Katya Mills, LMFT #129963

12.21.21

im not so great in many a formal

setting i like to dress just how i feel

lovely or bedraggled 

makes no sense to me to dial it up

otherwise. maybe for joyful masquerade 

the show off who expresses toward some aim

i so disdain it makes me tremble

#katyamills

dis.cusscusscuss

basin water drawn

to the face green blue green eyes

my thoughts turned 2 the less fortunate

i castigated the glass

ran out on the sun

cussed the mean cold

world

hunting my contacts i

called on the loneliest one

who could not would not answer

the loneliest one

was i

#katyamills

morningside park

tugging on a lamppost 

atop a flight of stairs

by a blade they lost

they strength

waylaid

not without a fight

began to fade

between the teeth the skin

the beat it slows 

to fin and many full 

with sorrow

hearts

#katyamills

X

love

like one long forgotten

day

#katyamills

D plus or minus

thrust into hand my essays marked up 

red like a tongue been punched in the mouth 

after i turned them in so square

clean geometric rails and trains carrying verses 

plundered then ransacked over the open plains 

i thank god i could not never write 

how you wanted    #katyamills

down one

winter highways a mess 

kids with sleepers in their eyes

pleading - don't go! 

fuck all the long commutes

forgot how to end

ice cream sundays!  they exclaim

throwing they boots off

factory gonna have to live 

down one 

today

#katyamills

vax realities

they stamped my card

pumped my arm full 

of medicine

 i zipped up

ten miles home 

in the rain

popped some tylenol 

advil and said

prayers

#katyamills

death of an inconsequential man

blood surging through his veins

disseminating after a decade of lifeless

sedentaryanism the inconsequential man 

with a battle cry hurled himself out his 4 story window 

cradling his miniature labrador 

who as luck would have it

had already passed

#katyamills

dresden

once an iconic city

before the wars and the amphetamine soaked 

antisocial dictators regime

got bombed 2 smithereens

#katyamills

crypto night

they gave what they had 

the hours of attention undivided they gave

what they made 

digitally sealed cryptographic tokens

etched into trees scrawled 

upon paper

to fade

#katyamills

Anne Rice

upon parting

trading this world for another

the eleventh of december, twenty twenty one

all the vampires  

who made her like she them

were given sudden

mortality

 #katyamills

ultra

the violet 

halfway between blue and invisible

became violent 

attacking an otherwise

nondescript wavelength

with a volley of purple multiphasic

rain

our rocks

developed button fly star

kicks

what a bloody

mess

#katyamills

the relatively unknown

at home

facing the faces of holiday cheer 

the relatively unknown 

dress and dial down fear 

with hopes

4 a fearless new year

#katyamills

tailor. precinct 11

far and wide 

the old man was called upon

his number had come up!

he arrived carrying the suit he wore 

on his wedding day 1975

knocked on the thick oak door 

the office of aptitude 4 

deconstructing and reauthoring identities 

tailored to your desired 

specifications

#katyamills

introducing the no see ems

while reading books by all my favorite authors 

all of whom are dead 

i let the room

and gave the stage to the no see ems 

they put on a punk flying show beyond compare

demonstrating how unreflexive

we truly are   

#katyamills

water from fabric

like water from 

fabric you got the truth 

out of a liar

by twisting 

#katyamills

conversations with the future

on a train leaving Las Vegas

i thought to my (future) self

with all the deception in the world

who needs magic?

#katyamills

it's a crime

it's not a crime to care and it's

not a crime not 

to care it's not a crime

not to care it's a 

crime 

#katyamills

the inconsolable light that is you

so inconsolable 

you became the forecast 

god knows 

your light after the storm your

light! the calm!

before so inconsolable

god knows the light

the calm after

the storm

#katyamills

not only the lonely

the voices carried 

deep into the heart of recollection

no one was witness no one

believed

what a gathering of friends  

for the lonely

#katyamills

thoughts near 25

we went on advancing

cutting new angles 

experimenting constantly and who cared

where we landed or when

10 days a week they demanded you 

show up exactly on time wear a suit 

show no thigh and why? 

was it not enough

to love unconditionally do

life differently

demanding impartiality 

insistently 

#katyamills