more than halfway out of control

 

when you breathe 

you do so effortlessly

whereas i have to run like i am hunted 

just to sharpen the axe

writing off this shallow sleep

blow by blow

what are we more than 

halfway out of

control

#katyamills

vaca to the earth

i wish i could be a space cadet for a day

seeing earth from a great great distance 

admiring her perfect beauty

wanting to go so badly 

thinking it would be everything it's not

rooted in my imagination

without landing gear 

i hike the interstellar trails

#katyamills

4.4

poverty had almost destroyed them

they made up the balance

by kindness selflessness

and congeniality

#katyamills

bloom

 

the first drop of rain

seeded from an ominous cloud

the journey to earth

gravity

the murderous bastard

tried to break her apart 

she landed on the bloom 

of a blushing cheek where

a salty teardrop 

took her in   

#katyamills

Ming Dynasty

on a bright and sunny Sunday

we forked fried taro masterpieces

and lemon curd in wonton skins 

hailing from the Ming Dynasty

falling off the budget toasting 

the end of all soul sucking 

aspects of life

#katyamills

thought. at feeling street

the sun left the sky

violet and orange 

the paint faded fast

under this skin

i touched universe

at last

i meandered inward 

inspired by a beat

and hit the thoughts

at feeling street

#katyamills

cry

 

i won't cry 

unless you cry 

sectioned off under the lights. another stage

black tights and vests with shiny buttons

midnight blue

boots laced up 

awaiting your direction 

heaving chest of breath

inflection

in opposition to certain

death

#katyamills

chains

chain controls on

descending from the peak

swallowed by dawn 

you fell back asleep

the pines made way 

for us to pass through

i was deeply moved

cutting tracks into the frozen sea

salted groove

#katyamills

silent treatment

silence can be weaponized

when i was a kid you showed me how

and i brandished it

until i learned right from wrong 

not speaking up is what i find offensive

when a few honest words could 

settle the hurt

#katyamills

march marches on

the rain

the wind

the love you

rescind

anaerobic ponds

once clouds 

reflect 

and march 

marches on

without 

you

#katyamills

grand.io.sity

on a red eye to Boston

a lovely affection traveling up and down the spine

conservatorship recently revoked 

on the threshold of grandiosity

leveled by whiskey 

they saw an opening. 3A in first class

and prepared a cash bribe for the chosen

one

#katyamills

equi.nox

they tamed the squares of grass

weed machines whipping tentacles 

the equinox spoke in shades of green

kid became a turtle. camouflaged

feigning a study of the phone

#katyamills

remember it all

it astonishes me to remember how i hurt you

and you nearly killed me and yet

we were in love

some say leave the past in the past it's ancient history

i remember it all

if it were not indispensable why 

do we study History as if it were

some exquisite 

butterfly

#katyamills

memory #141

smoking after heavy 

drinking. taste the bloody lip

thinking

up all night reading pacing writing

heart and mind playing

fighting

sprinkler system pushes up

out of the ground at dawn for the back 

track

#katyamills  

death of a comedian

one of my favorite comedians 

made me extremely sad for the first time ever

by dying

i watched reruns of his shows

and laughed and laughed so hard i cried

but then i got confused

was i crying from the dying?

it does not matter because he was great 

and i miss him

#katyamills

raccoon (dogs)

chased out of China 

they made it West in shipping containers

up the deep water channel

into our city

the artful ones escaped the ports

dodged cars into yards

only to face their distant cousin

the American raccoon

who welcomed them 

with gnashing teeth

to living hell

#katyamills

dis.orders

all the coffee in the world 

could not shake your personality

you needed someone to discuss it with but you did not want to

and so the world learned to live

with you

#katyamills

three years on

pain has many flavors

in the spine it's like cayenne simmered in a chamomile bath

three years on it's still hard to relax

the pandemic almost buried us all

now i take my key 

striking out to see friends

#katyamills

set 4 self destruct

my life was self destruct set into slow motion

my tailor drug and drink

subgenre rebellion 

in the age of deconstruction

the undercurrent identity

for it would never be okay 

to not be who i knew 

i was

#katyamills

press mute

there's nothing like the sound

of early birds of spring 

you gotta mute the commercials

to really understand

#katyamills

phobic

you talk of eradicating our rights you

lost touch with reality

you have mothers brothers sisters nephews

daughters and sons who identify

yet you still disbelieve? 

you sleep but never dream

your hatred your brand your kind cannot last

we will always exist 

#katyamills

even steven

they don't really know what they
are doing


forgot all the things you said
to help them understand

the sun will shine again
your honey will love you
through anything

and when you put on your uniform
and go to work

all will even out
like cream stirred into
coffee

#katyamills

don't know where or why or how

we broke off into cliques

saturated in our societal relations

disinterested

writing off half 

the damn world

i became an individual again

somewhere i don't know how or why 

without closure 

outside

looking in

#katyamills

 

go fish

back home 

staining they sketchpads with inks

up all night alone they would not buy the lies for free

misfit friends in they head. loner celebration

extinguished the tv and touched the room with radio

they cast they line 

deep and trolled for broken

hearts

#katyamills

1983

our senses gone

an unbroken dawn 

cracks and poaches its whites by the sea

the folding of time into the sun and elements 

overexposed the same

no one to blame 

adventure magnificent and tragic 

we will never love like that 

again

#katyamills

different now

now i am having the adverse reaction to tv. i am different from you. now restless in the sleep. now pursuing some dream. now i am indifferent, locked without key. now sitting still. meditating. what looks like peace… it is an illusion

#katyamills

2001 karma reel

i paid you a fair wage to help paint these walls
when you overdosed we could not wake you
firefighters empowered to slap you into consciousness
high on heroin with money you stole from me
when i figured it all out i was blazing mad
but thanked god for sparing your life

#katyamills

slush piles

a storm of emotion

anticipation of victory

all the colors of all the territories

condensed into one

powerful narrative

delivered to all the major publishing 

houses only to face resolute

defeat

#katyamills

lemon

maybe 7 years old 

pushing lemon wedges into my mouth 

until my face stretched out

from the sour 

acid

eliciting laughter by my diversion

better than any excuse 

for bad behavior

#katyamills

selfless.ly

you and your force
of opinions


on any other day i indulge
in distant lands 
dive into RPGs and mobile
phones


today i laugh


selflessly plunging into
the vortex behind those
honey cambered
eyes

#katyamills

earthen world

I confess 

I am undeserving

of your caress 

these words he spoke 

a mouse in his throat

for you know not yet

of my betrayal 

my fingers closed 

into a fist. i struck out 

until my knuckles

bled

the earthen world

undeterred

#katyamills