March 31

we boil and dye the eggs. i let you choose two from the paper carton. not the powder blue of a 1960 Cadillac. not the purple one, of course not! the pink one could have used another 60 seconds in the dye but we will keep her. the half celery half cucumber is a unique look and took a steady hand. you take your time, inspecting the beauty in them all, then roll one into my palm. we crack and peel the shells off. shake a little salt... and voila!   #katyamills

anchor a bridge in a sea

we wanted it to be something it was not. we so badly wanted it. the distance between us made for sadness. for confusion. for anger you had to push aside again and again. and again. the distance grew. it would take years to anchor a bridge in this sea. it's no use being angry i'd rather be sad. it's no good being sad and alone. not having it the way you want it. the way you believe it could be. but it's not.   #katyamills

how it came to be

our exultations 

they condemned 

reducing it to fantasies ailments 

lapses of reason

sidelong they watched us

devoid of curiosity

in sworn secrecy we traveled 

to the chosen clearing 

beneath the city

only to be seen 

only to be known 

only to be free

#katyamills

stone 30

 time

turned the sun 

to stone

in the cold 

endless night we

harvested bromeliad

dracaena and cast iron plant

and huddled together 

in well worn blankets 

entranced by

stars

#katyamills

march 29

out front he was a #captain. at home he was just another lying cheating good for nothing philanderer. she developed a passion for gardening. her therapist told her she needed a hobby. one day she grew the largest tomato in the county!  #katyamills

march 28

I won’t allow you a syllable, a single note, seed, crumb of cake, or drop of water. depression. all you get is a one way ticket to the south or north pole where time slowly melts you out of existence.    #katyamills

March 27

Vitamin K

@Katya444ever

·

Now

the quality changed when confronted by the curvature of the earth, by clouds, by atmospheric detritus, smog and fog. the thoughts behind the eyes, the feelings, made greater alterations. and then the light was wet and dry, trembling, ascertaining shades of colors.   #katyamills

(X post)

March 26

the morning dove calls 

walking long the iron rail

and though i do not feel so well

and wish to settle back to sleep and rust

he helps me fold these feelings 

and put them up for

walking long these halls

i must 

#katyamills

scarlet

it was often the same theme, in a dream something was taken from her and she became increasingly upset. he called and woke her at the designated time, 5:30, in his truck already driving, and the relief she felt was unparalleled. outside the sky in phases of development. scarlet.  #katyamills

ai woman

after the implosion

she got with a gang of outliers

and misfits 

who loved her when she could not

and together they let fall the myriad 

adornments 

 #katyamills

hey champ

hey champion


you will hit the wall
short of the essential
carbohydrate load
but do not
fold


find
deep down
that extra extra
to finish what you
started

#katyamills

conjecture no longer

 

trembling

gripping my hair

in the presence of

a spectre

i was left to 

conjecture

when my boy

sleepy-eyed

plushy in hand

ran in to exclaim

mommy

did you see did

you see?

#katyamills

1 sunny day

one silent night we will break
this hourglass and time
will be ours


the way you force it
the way you make us
want to leave
you


time will be ours
one sunny day

#katyamills

rose

he brought her a rose 

from the subway girl 

just inside the gate

she gave it to the boy

who heard every heavy word

in the back stairwell hiding

the night before

#katyamills

stops

on saturdays
we used to get off at random stations
to know the city by train
ashland ravenswood dearborn
we chose the stops by name
in sun and in rain
delighted to find some hidden jem
our brief time together
was not misspent

#katyamills

cricket

what colour is my mood can you guess?
he looked her over carefully toe to head... a dangerous red. tequila sunrise in the morning. take warning?
wrong! it's a cricket wheat. safely blending in a bale of California hay 

in the heat!

#katyamills

signal

she stayed until the last sign

and signal

the chemistry between them

like fireflies 

only then could she release his hand

having left this world

for the next

#katyamills

March 16

you don't need a riot to change. usually. unless you live in Port-Au-Prince or Moscow. my heart wanted to riot the years i was unseen. i blew up on those i loved. conditions deteriorated. relationships. i had to get right with myself. find a way to talk about it.   #katyamills

some boys

I made us rice and vegetables with soy sauce in bowls. we both used the chopsticks. I taught you how but you had not really wanted to learn but finally did. you lay back and held on to your belly carefully like there was a baby in there. Some boys can get pregnant. It's 2024.   #katyamills

Redington Beach

strange summer sky. long thin pier we trod the planks corridor of pelicans standing on the rails in quiet anticipation. hunger. there's a man calling out got an amber jack on his line. want your picture taken? no thanks. today you travel leaving the storm behind. my soul lives inside a flash. it's a black and white deal.

  #katyamills

March 13

mid March. nature reborn and men calling after women they want on the street. she dressed bland to blend in with the land of concrete. and when that didn't work she was torn. must I be mean or can I be sweet?   #katyamills

March 12

 get out there and live your best life today. sometimes you gotta b tough because the world is a rough place to live. #katyamills

orange like a burner

overnight the time changed

in a dream i saw a cat with two heartbeats

and a dead name

the sun starts off orange like a burner

to heat a cold earth. this will be the sort of day we live for

where we talk of heavy things

in a light way

#katyamills

honor

slept in… yesterday was outdoors in the happiness of spring sunshine and clouds … running … good feeling … Tosh came over we ate junk food … pizza … watched an old movie from 1971 … woke up tired  happy and worn out. sometimes we learn to honor our feelings by writing ... I was very very small and not anyone really honoring them because they were secondary to getting by.  #katyamills   #katyamills

as you please

they lived inside an anachronistic say and do as you please lifestyle. dropping big money on unnecessary things. thick lacquered attitude and everybody seemed to love it from a streaming screen or screaming distance. if you were on the other side of it you were most likely confounded by transactional condescension in a nanoplastic wind. no you cannots on the tip of your tongue. coming out all nods and smiles.  #katyamills

the Great War

i follow the roads 

where they rise

the surface of the skin

with my eyes

this one ends 

in an inch long scar

in the ditch of my arm

i blew it up 

long ago

so the enemy 

could not cross

in the great war

for my heart

#katyamills

coordinated thing

it's a coordinated thing, doctor healing patient then making love to a nurse, lights down, in the operating theatre. it's anarchy, ballet slippers breaking apart, toenail cracking. a shot of anaesthetic... it's coming out of it, tossing and sick, creeping toward war.   #katyamills

lost cause

they believed

how i got no problems

and living this great life

i was too ashamed to tell 

the truth 

 down and disturbed

harming myself

hurting you when it wasn't

me

i was the relationship i had to work through

break the default state 

of fear and hate

become someone 

not a lost

cause

#katyamills

eventuality

becoming 

who we are not 

in a world which loves us 

more that way we are 

destined to figure out 

by process of elimination

who we always

were

#katyamills

the life

i drank the poison 

telling all the pained faces 

like the starling takes the wind when the storm comes

let it try to take 

the life

#katyamills

to Safeways

i race into my tights jeans jacket 

step into muk-luks 

to Safeways 2 see you

you tell me u cannot 

you really cannot 

understaffed they are watching 

i wish 2 god u could i 

need you right now 

doomscrolling at Dutch Bros 

in this draught of 

giants

#katyamills

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7276703.Katya_Mills