Friday, 18 October 2019

12 going on 21

why you were left alone so long 
only the spinning world 
would know

it hurts looking back. you made friends easy
 and what friends. a formula 
for trouble 

and trouble looks like anything
 but trouble at


used to be hotels and nightclubs
 concerts and restaurants
 shots of light and whisky in the dark

 now i find the glam 
in silent early mornings cooking
 coffee ona stove

a kid told me

people suck
i could not deny that they do

what if we all suck up to 50% of the time 
on average? could we still have faith we won’t ever suck more than half the time? 

we could dream of being 
suck free some 

friendship combo

what if you became we 
would the disparity between our worldviews 

no more blame game

let us try making somethin outta what we have
 then if we succeed

we can celebrate our friendship

if i thought about

what made you you 
and how our lives would 
look without it

i too would organize
i too would risk arrest and a violent 
reaction to our

without what made you

there can be none of what made me
 me or us — we


we see our flags in your streets we see
   your movement like ours
could not
     cannot be 


love hk. 4 what will not cannot be assimilated like you love your own uniqueness. love hk

Thursday, 10 October 2019

try me

try me on a winter morning
try me in the fall
try me when your heart is yearning

something so familiar
what you thought was gone
what if it returned to you?
like some forgotten song

catching you unexpected
barefoot on the tile
sunlight found the shadow

its been
a while

Tuesday, 8 October 2019


4 were the ways
got us across the days

4 were the winds
altogether kept us

4 were the fires
could not be

4 were the reaches
at the ends of
the earth

2 times
did i call out
to you

2 circles

the birds 
upon the wire
they fell
took flight

the sky
the sky
the sky


Sunday, 6 October 2019

yesterday. october 5

we rode on out to see the cousins down along the river road, into the delta and god was it beautiful, America on an autumn afternoon. we paid respects to your mom along the way. the sun would leave the cemetery sky red hot on its descent in the west. i never knew your father was an artist until you showed me his studio deep in the lot, behind the garage. there was a portrait of a beautiful woman on the easel, maybe the beloved in the beloved years? he is 94 now and lives with sofia the cavalier. they are pulling up the carpets now. the orange tree what with its lime hybrid is beginning to bear fruit. we shared baked beans and fried chicken and i listened to the story of his coming to this country, up from Mexico, hoping on some work and a couple hundred dollars to take home. a man convinced him to hop the freight train and go north, to Indio. from there they decided on Sacramento. the man got drunk one night and disappeared. that was three quarters of a century ago. old sacramento was a community of migrants. i wonder about the spirit and where does it go when somebody is no longer around?


the sun was below ground at 4 o'clock but the sky could feel her comin in colors off the glass. some kids got sent back to aisle 5 at the safeway for trying to buy single coronas off the 6 pack. i was searchin for my simple honeybee bear and asked around and found him in lucky no.7. across the street my digital order turned up 8 ounces of coffee, hot and fierce. not a bad start for a day. not a bad start at all. stay present and you can handle anything.

Saturday, 5 October 2019


I turned up the aisle with counterbalance of grocery baskets and indecision about toothpaste brands. I put my baskets down as you pushed a plush goofy into my hands which i figured you grabbed off a shelf. You told me you won it for me and pointed at those impossible machines, glass container full of toys and mechanical claw. I didn't believe you. But it was true!

Thursday, 3 October 2019

lost to devices

cell phone city. 2019

eyes glossy and

smile like an upside
down sunset

we could not reach you
were lost to

upside down sunset by katya

Wednesday, 2 October 2019

journal october 2

morning coffee and oatmeal, and the cool autumn air seeping through the screen to wake you up. today i will be out of the house from 8am-9pm. i have been sleeping well with the cool nights though my cats wake me up frequently but i'm used to it. my novella is in pretty good shape and hoping to send it out soon to some betas for a test read before i complete the next and possibly final draft. now that i have published 5 works under my name, i learned to stop forecasting the finishing, it almost always takes longer than i expected. the new novella has ZERO fantasy elements in it, as its grounded in turn of the century (millenium) action, circa 1999. this seems to be the time and place i gravitate towards. if i am ever to be known as an American author by a great many people, they will likely appreciate my reflections of this era.

Tuesday, 1 October 2019


no more flying or driving we
leave it to the machines no
more surfing the oceans gone
plastic no more cash no more
paper we're all caught by the
web. no silence do not think
for yourself. creation is an
algorithm god is an intranet
dropping digital stitches ina
biodegradable post-colorful
world. amen.