ten mid.riff seven

lights low

the sauce on simmer i

unlocked the front door

divulging my last secret for

you to revel 

in the midriff

core    

#katyamills

hungry tummy

we were kids we 

could not see behind our

backs. you headed 4 the duck pond

brought back dinner 

4 the hungry 

tummies

#katyamills

pressured by fronts and driven to tears

we are not so unlike clouds in the sky, are we, puffy and bleached turning gray, you can see through us and other times opaque we hide our secrets inside us, coming for us and striking through they do, yet still we remain intrinsically unscarred or untouched, reflecting it all sea to sea and the earth, where we travel we leave the residue our prints passing silently along, forensics loves a cloud, made of water and vapor we are and capable of many forms, evocative of endless feelingstates, containing our own electromagnetic storms we are carried by winds and made by trial and fire, under certain conditions we scatter and the streets become empty and clear like the sky, monotonous, monochromatic we are pressured by fronts and driven to tears

Journal # 10.11.2016

i got all your friendliness, you made me soft in the abdomen for us, we could have shared a smoke and a crazy secret, a kind of bluetooth pair. vital was the origin and splitting off the infinitive, in a low-pitched bad news lesion in motion. i wish they had been there, the ones bobbing between bookcases with their fingers at their lips. but it was only me and you, clicking with exclusion. the time has been measured and planned in your head, now you needed only to conduct an orchestra of one. i was in great demand, apparently, before i stumbled off in tails tattered, in league with papers, my reaction mute, understated, in shadows long and growing... my darkness, unwanted, degraded in your spotlight.

once i got back to my dear beloved light of my life, well, i had some trouble it is true, pulling tooth was blue, but my man spoke of god and my friend she spoke of other important good things to do, and yes i undressed. yes i took my silence and rest, the blonde mouse he showed white belly up for trusted scratching. catfish hung back in the shadows. when i got myself up i rose up, i felt real, i wasn't any such pale as the spotlight made out, i wasn't any bit angry toward you or the world, vitality was mine again in the doing what needed to be done. another usual kinda day. the kind i keep then to myself, and to myself a secret melody. 

point and very blank was she

hendrix in chalk on J street

What happens when you try and live in the moment

and learn to let the immediate past go

like ashes 

thrown to sea

through air? 

Sometimes it's gonna be salty

the residue

other times it's gonna be so blunt to the taste you might curl up in a ball

i might throw the palms of my hands 

into the fucking wall

And the paint starts to melt 

in the heat 

Just the two of us

expression mutual 

out on the handlebars of our hate 

distribution route

Right. There's no denying it

there's no whisking the dirty truth off your baby button down now, girl

you gotta getta 

hard 

unseeded 

lifeless force field

and sadly

not let the self 

she so embraced 

once

out

Into that space so sacred

that circle

you said

And the dreadful life inside there? 

I mean, what happens next? 

like every half hour

some sea change comes over our atmosphere...

the ghosts pick up on the darkest secrets 

Accept it

as is

learn to restore the wholesome love

we establish

no one can 

no one can

no one can take that away

i love you
         you love me

point and so very blank 

was she
see