in the fog

late at night

they come 

they travel down mountainsides

within water molecules 

by gravity

then rise up off the grassy banks 

as condensation to hover

low over the city 

the full moon witnesses

the harvest. the lost 

souls

#katyamills

cycle 1

bending the river

we cycle through 

minds meandering

gears clicking

hearts pumping

thoughts and chains 

sometimes

derailed

#katyamills

taking leave

the days they made up in the shadow of war

visiting friends in the country drinking wine 

lugged from France. leave lasted about as long 

as an echo of a song. back to marching across

Europe he stepped out of formation once

thinking of her of their favorite dance

#katyamills

u turn

after the poison

left my blood

weakened i was

not yet dead

agonized by

the one who plotted

against me 

in ten days 

i turned

flirtation

away...

my breath 

my thoughts 

left resting 

my heart beats 

brightly 

whose longing 

knows

what you 

turn toward

grows

#katyamills

shadow

the wishing well was full with well wishing

when it was sincere

the tallest trees leaned over us

the record spinning

throwing shade upon

the fear

#katyamills

dead of morning

one forlorn morning

zombies closing in

central market was depleted 

the many filters black and wet

with grounds

the town ran dry of coffee

we the people cannot believe

throwing manuscripts out windows

we follow and retrieve

#katyamills

drafting

one way to start fresh on a piece of writing is not worry about anything. let the words go. care less of punctuation which can be righted in the editing phase. come back to it later. let the rhythm get top billing. storytelling gets VIP treatment. this is a free write so let it be free.  #katyamills

de.fin.ite.ly

she watched everything unfold

with a nonjudgmental eye

the world flipping channels

addicted to celebrity worship murder porn 

character assassination

she had a terrible habit when bored

indulging other's opinions

forgive me

she announced

i have to go and define

myself

#katyamills

lost to sea

in a vessel constructed by hand

they faced the mighty sea alone

the sails they sewn to withstand

hundred knot winds blown 

past the limits of good faith 

across the monochrome

lashed to the wheel by a knotted sheet

they piloted through a seven day storm 

no sleep no sleep until it dialed down

salted air and foam lodged within 

the corrugated bone

they untethered too soon

a misstep any good sailor could take

to make the much needed repairs

high up on the mainsail mast 

when taken by a gust and forever

lost to sea

#katyamills

ultra tons of glitter and glue

their opinions 

dragged on inside her skull for years

carrying the tune until

one forlorn day

she picked up a despondent note

by the handle

stuck it with ultra tons

of glitter and glue

crafted an off key

to unlock her super

future

#katyamills 

the i that was not

you said 

you carried conversations in your head with me like i was there

when i was not

you said i said 

i love you

i kissed your head i said 

the i that was not i was true 

because i do

#katyamills

go gentle into waking

with terrifying promise 

fall's early darkness 

raised mushrooms and flowers black

alongside creatures

conceived by lifeless

ground. needless of the sun

indomitable

#katyamills

like a stranger

yes 

you burned me again

reigniting the past through your dirty broken 

magnifying lens

hurt

i turned away from this nonsense

and toward my aunt whom you told me

in the same breath

died

harboring the question

have you no heart? 

to me

you are like

a stranger

#katyamills

sun 17 shine

the earth does all the heavy lifting
the sun just shines

today

leave the past in the past

where it was meant 

to be

let the future be unknown

today be like the sun 

let the earth do the lifting

stand up for yourself and 

shine

#katyamills

findings

the microclimates 

produced by particular social medias 

had an insalubrious effect

on them

they began to feel distant

the more they connect

#katyamills

in my mitochondria

i live with you 

you crossed into my mitochondria

when i was a kid 

and we are inextricably bound

at the cellular level

facing life together

depression 

you cannot have me you

cannot control me you

cannot silence me

i live for those dashed upon 

your rocky cape 

whose spirits can be heard

in one hundred knot winds

whispering oh! if i had but one more day

what i would do!  

the sun has risen

the day given

you cannot have my motivation

my inspiration my 

determination

to live and fight

and love

 

#katyamills 

ex boyfriend days

the chorus of i love yous
lost its charm


denatured by
your screaming voice
mails high CAPS
texting


i dropped boots on
ground beneath your
truck and walked
away


rev the engine
shout me down
in your power
plays


im gonna make it
on my own

#katyamills

waiting out a storm

by candlelight

the coffee strong 

the songs we joyfully butchered 

the night long 

our differences cast

aside  

#katyamills

reception 1980

 static on our screen

in the attic

where they kept us

while they drank sang

played merry

we broke the rabbit 

ears thirsting for 

reception

pushing the window

up on its ropes

we finally got it

diving into the snow

below

#katyamills

King of Winchester

he was drunk again

waving it around like the King of Winchester

i made a dash to the fire 

while he fixed himself a vodka tonic

closed the flue and 

smoked him

out

#katyamills

ten eleven

again and again

i fought my way out of a bottle

behind wings of paper you

rocked with the train along the tracks 

peeking out at the not newsworthy

i am loved and that's why i 

keep fighting i keep

loving

#katyamills

ten nine born new

with apathy 

her eyes swallowed

magazines

waiting for that which was never 

going to happen

unwilling

to fake the bland recycled sentiment 

the socially adopted 

attitudes

she carved out her own language on 

a few non combative girls

fell out of reverie

into some awkward new 

born space

#katyamills

renewal

these heavy feelings

when i lack the strength to care 

set upon me 

kneeling there

they cannot stop my breath

from breathing my chest

from heaving

like an animal hunted

facing them i

stare

#katyamills

without words

october 

you got my hair 

chopped

nails colored so

they pop

dressed down and

up i am 

ready for the fall

without words

into your

arms

#katyamills

ten mid.riff seven

lights low

the sauce on simmer i

unlocked the front door

divulging my last secret for

you to revel 

in the midriff

core    

#katyamills

un.loved

it was hard to understand. she was carrying on about someone who had refused to apologize for what they had said or done to her. i was trying to listen. spelling her name in the moisture around the glass. my finger made for a terrible pen. there was too much ice and too much sour and not enough whiskey. she went on and on without a care. bartender? you know when it's not your problem and yet you can feel a certain way about it? that's how i felt: unloved. unloved like she was feeling unloved. but what's the big deal, really, to be unloved by another who is incapable of truly loving you?   #katyamills

mark.

she wanted someone to blame. she wanted answers but there weren't any, you just had to press on. she had an urge to call up and bitch out the store manager, the manufacturer of the product, the mayor, anybody who would receive her anger and hopeless feeling. all she had left in the cupboard was a sleeve of saltine crackers and even they had taken on air. she felt dead inside. inflation had sapped them all. the phone rang and she did not answer. after a good cry she felt alive again. worth something. mark came over and rapped on her window. his name was so sudden. mark. let's get out of here. they walked to the park. he tried to cheer her up. i'll get you an ice cream. she couldn't stand the thought of anything milk related. stop it mark. you can't help me. it's hopeless. i'm a lost cause. he stood on his head until his face turned red and she laughed and laughed until she cried some more. 

#katyamills

grinds

they awoke battered by terrors 

a humming heartbeat of a creature

by one eye vigilant of anything

moves speaks  

coffee before work

let the emotions run through the grinds

summoning any god to

get them through

  #katyamills

nobody

i walk the length of rivers 

i scour the search engines

post traumatic stressed i

never rest. descended from nobody

who kept the trains 

running on time

#katyamills

ten ten

nights lengthen 

the shadows thick and tangible

possess now those who owned them

some vitality ascends 

pulp of squash and pumpkin

arrows of geese piercing ponds

covered with scum

hope may our alliances strengthen

and lengthen too

otherwise we are 

doomed

#katyamills

type

sometimes you don't think you got anything to say but give it a try and it will come. like releasing a bull from a pen. storm out of there bucking, all the thoughts and feelings stored up over the years. a super sweet release and i would not stop for nothing, full bore, no breaks. no getting a glass of water or blowing a nose or answerin the phone. no stretching no standing up no looking away. gotta stay devoted to that cadence that rhythm, keep pressure on those keys ... and the headache soon abandoned the scene for somewhere else ... and the heaviness in the heart dissipated ... and the darkness behind the eyes finally gave way to light.    #katyamills