Friday, 30 September 2022

what was comin

having done bad things

they were known by many names 

they knew. most stood up 

even if they fought off

a few


they could dye their hair 

a hundred shades of blue

swallow a hundred ales

generous at the bar 

with me and you


by closing time 

never fails

you could toss a coin 

head or tails


kicked around  

they lip split open 

shouted down

they got what was comin

it's true


#katyamills


Wednesday, 28 September 2022

the bleed

when the days 

equalled in length the nights

they refused to separate colors 

from whites

and though they got 

inevitable bleed 

it was what the world

need



#katyamills

one night in the car in the rain

that night she knew he wanted to make love to her in the car in the rain

for her just knowing she was wanted she was loved was 

more than making love could ever give


#katyamills

the best

she was worrying about whether or not he would make a good father especially given that it wasn't his son. she thought he was the right type because he talked well like someone who was educated and he was. he had a degree. he could get all kinds of jobs and make them all kinds of money so she wouldn't have to bend over backward sewing buttons on thrift store clothes before walking the kid to school. yes, she thought, he could become a classic sorta breadwinner if it weren't for that other thing in the way right now. but they was young, he was young and still needed some encouragement in the right direction. she could provide it but she hadn't and she better start soon. but it was hard because when he got home from work he was usually pretty keyed up and wanted to relax. and she had the prescription pills and felt bad or like she wanted to help and gave him one he washed down with a beer to relax. what harm? it's not like one turned into two or two into three. not with him. maybe her. god she was pregnant and if the daddy was who she thought it was, he was no good. she didn't even want to know because his knowing might mean he might want to get involved in all the wrong ways. file for custody just because he hated her guts and didn't want her happy? with child. no. she didn't want to know. best thing for her. best thing for the baby. move on and get with a good kind of guy who could really be supportive and fuck the rest. if she couldn't find one of those, i mean, if he wasn't the one either, then hell, she could just raise the kid herself. plenty of women did it. even her friend Donna. she was exhausted with rings under her eyes by now, looking like she aged ten years, but still she was doing it. i guess you gotta let go of yourself, your pride, your vanity, and just be the best mom. she knew she could do that. her modeling career never exactly took off and she hated the industry. all the scumbags who offered photoshoots then never paid what they promised they would. demanding the negatives and getting the run around, or worse, being called a bitch a thousand times for asking. fuck all that. she was gonna focus on being the best.    #katyamills

one can dream

in the eye of a hurricane 

where all is eerily calm and tenuous

all the linens blown off the line

and nothin is the same as was

it is here gazing up at the impossible blue

of the impossible sky

one can dream


#katyamills

Sunday, 25 September 2022

Edvard Munch

if i find myself captured by a mood 

i think of your sister with you

mixing oils to capture the red 

of her hair

in her bed softly resting 

the tuberculin stare

wondering how god could

forsake us          


#katyamills

Saturday, 24 September 2022

22.22

this place got it all

there's nothing here

no technology

we come here stripped down

we can hardly take it

we don't wanna live

this place got it all

no longer charmed out of reality

we see things plainly

this place got it all

like running thirsty 

toward a mirage 


#katyamills



Friday, 23 September 2022

property of the sun

solitary

censored

the sun kept a great distance from everyone it influenced

to do its proper work

the moon 

she wouldn't damage your retina

mark her with flags 

claim her  

you who are owned

by the sun


#katyamills



#katyamills

needy

the sun was burning things

no one could stop it

the sun was trying to reach us

to touch us

the sun wanted to be known

to communicate 

to be felt deeply 

to be seen the sun was

just like us

just like us


#katyamills

toyz

i was overthinking again

ideas spillin out my head like a fountain

makin some rainbow mist

a little kid appeared on the sidewalk

started collecting the residue

grasping it weighing it

galloping away on it like some strange 

new toy 


#katyamills

Wednesday, 21 September 2022

haunted by image

in his hats and boots and 

watch with chain at 5:24 

not a minute more he

turned decisively to his work

so not to die 

of broken heart pain

forever seeing her vanish

in the rain


#katyamills

farewell the queen

they push the cannons out 

the royal arms. the faces 

rushing past an endless queue

farewell the queen farewell

blush streaked with tears

children tugging to go home

starving and sleepless

all along high fences

with spears


#katyamills




Sunday, 18 September 2022

starting over

they could not speak

they wanted to be alone

they got the lit end of it

issued through the tissue

and it hurt but the pain

was good for it equalled

how they felt inside

this is the beginning

they told themselves

all i need is the truth

i can manage the rest


#katyamills

Saturday, 17 September 2022

17 dash


in need of nutrients

having embarked cold and thirsty upon the land

with a curious beating heart she

dislodged her diary and misted its pages

with secret emotions sketching

rough thoughts and plans

then. full of rebellion

dashed them


#katyamills




Friday, 16 September 2022

the unwanted

in a home near to falling

into the sea

living on oysters and powdered foods

the unwanted wanted 

to be wanted


when the sea 

finally took them out

they got their

wish


#katyamills

nothin feels better



than caring 4 plants

new homes made of pottery

you spun with your wheel

i smile at my sad thoughts

and laugh at the angry ones

burying them beneath roots

my hands in the earth


#katyamills

Wednesday, 14 September 2022

#Ukraine

word spread over forest river sea and sand
Ukraine countered the Russian offensive
reclaimed the land!


citizens found in pits hands tied behind backs
others told of holding wires connected to generators under interrogation


women came out of hiding to embrace
the faithful soldiers


#katyamills

the first days of fall

the strings the smoke the horns 

she was kissing him all along the face

the many many foamy glasses

raindrops striking the storefront

windows ... 


the first days of fall

the lips would remember it all


#katyamills

Tuesday, 13 September 2022

methods for mh

they turned the stereo off

stepped into the internal world with its rhythms

befriended the voices and made pacts

with adversaries


#katyamills

Sunday, 11 September 2022

thoughts

they would not chase

all those beautiful dangerous thoughts 

into the corral

some say they lacked

managerial grit

but it was something else

they loved to watch the damn things 

run free


#katyamills

sky casino

 walking away

broken bottles in the lot

hearts a little heavy

i know this place wasn't nothing 

without you

the dreams we conjured

when we doubled down

and won

oh to get away from the world

dying together 

when the pill dropped 

on red

i would happily die 

a thousand times

by your side



#katyamills

Saturday, 10 September 2022

hundred days of disputes

the ends of our sentences

anchored with question marks

the cat raiding the panty drawer

the plant trembles above the root

every time the two of us together

after the hundred days of

dispute


#katyamills

life of a writer

they ask me how

i write. i may i might

tell them. or not

i establish rules then 

in light of the risen sun

they lie broken

at my blood red

toenails


#katyamills


withstanding

hunted on the hills

san francisco

hunted under the el tracks

lake street. chicago

hunted by the exes

by childhood

living in the shadows 

of my memories

god gave me the spirit 

i could not summon 

on my own

to withstand

anything


#katyamills


awakening 1

they awoke to the shaking weight

of a bakery truck driving by

they awoke and knew not how they got there

they awoke to the sun and a heavy fog behind the eyes

an aroma of fresh baguettes

the underbelly of a palm tree


#katyamills

Monday, 5 September 2022

9.5

the nine to five to nine 

with escapism was perfectly

in line. they got plenty of bread

never went home or let it get

to the head


#katyamills

bar 1

she asked if he needed another drink

he nodded and smiled 

had he any courage he would have said no

just someone pretty like yourself

to talk to


#katyamills

Saturday, 3 September 2022

right to exist

on the margins of a world whose 

messaging often implores me 

to believe i have no place here

i live in affirmations like you're okay

you haven't done anything you have 

the right to exist!


#katyamills

Friday, 2 September 2022

nine ten

you know a life was lived 

when you cannot say

the book was better than 

the real thing


#katyamills

Thursday, 1 September 2022

the queen is dead

Ukraine being bombed to hell 

China painting Hong Kong red

no one in the world can stop it 

now the queen is dead 


#katyamills