Tuesday 31 October 2023

hurt with

now they hurt in silence 
not as bad as they hurt before swearing
before jumping off and hitting the shin
after stepping on the cat's tail
to them the hurt was good for it was not only the cat anymore 
who was hurting   #katyamills

Monday 30 October 2023

my talisman

sad about a world gone bad 
on a heavy dose of sedative
you were quick to judge yourself
my talisman. when will you see
the light?


Sunday 29 October 2023

sugar spike

they was sucking on chocolates leftover from halloween and traumatized by the sugar spike but someone had to do it  #katyamills

Saturday 28 October 2023

have a (violent) cry

emotions had to be worked through but not like this. they could not afford a ticket and did not wish to die. maybe bars - pick up men - drink for free - duck out? the spirit had so many terrible suggestions. they settled on a film. cried violently when the heart broke.  #katyamills

Friday 27 October 2023


I preferred horror and she preferred crime, and the genres seemed to bleed off the screen and into our life together. We didn’t fuck enough, in her opinion. And the more she held it against me the less I wanted to (fuck).  #katyamills

Thursday 26 October 2023


wouldn't do much good if you didn't believe in yourself. showcasing your work in the public forum was a gauntlet every artist had to run. 


fall back

played time 

one Sunday morning in November 

slapped the thief back 

hand of the clock

sixty more minutes to 

fall back to 

write the finest




the valerate was not numerically stable in the blood. the doctors fumbled for a baseline while they prepared themselves for the odyssey. they wondered what the wars would look like six months out and would they still be around? it gave them the kick the urgency they needed  #katyamills

time a thief entwined with memory

remember January? you asked. like yesterday. how we tipped the new year with a bottle of red and fell asleep hopeful. time was a thief entwined with memory clawing like ivy into mortar for dear life. the cats pawed at the blinds. silence a dangerous thing and we avoided it for hours.     #katyamills


she was trending toward isolate. call it an acceptance of death. at which time anyone would be involuntary reunited with all ... and that's beyond   #katyamills

fuck cancer

he was anxious waiting for the bus. he already missed one treatment and shouldn't miss another. he promised his kids. the toll it takes on your constitution. it scared him. he put his elbows on his knees and stared at the print on his chest. fuck cancer. 


hard sell

I got him to go up the hill with me to the orchards. a hard sell but I did not want to go alone. hard cider & tv remote his thrill. once we hit the clean country air he thanked me profusely for getting him out of the city. we drove by a liquor store. he didn't even ask.


Saturday 21 October 2023

no rules

for the last time they told her 

these are the rules. if you don't like them you can leave

her first move was to get the tattoo

with her best friend

then they mapped out a plausible

month long wave for her

surfing couches


Friday 20 October 2023

burdens & beauty

do the things you least want to do 
and do them well
you may find beauty in these burdens 
if you can take them on


inside the core of the moon

relinquished identity
dressed in uniforms
scrubbed to glow her surface 

almost everyone did something
fully outside the values 
to get inside the moon


Monday 16 October 2023

billionaire recycling

we found the one open on Sundays. you laughed when I told you the name. it helps you stay humble doing things you could easily outsource. glass plastic and tin to the Billionaire Recycling. Don't know if they got rich I'm still a paycheck from broke  #katyamills

the weekend

the night was a twisted thing. the geese flying in formation came to claim the great pond. friendship on the rocks. weather could not make up it's mind. flash flooding. they opened the locks. dreams tried to kill me in my sleep.  #katyamills


 monday morning. protest. refuse to get out of bed. 

Saturday 14 October 2023

presence avoidance and condemnation

do not condemn yourself
for not being fully present 
even the most celebrated among us 
shy away from pain


wild vast indifference

I hold this lantern high
some light allowed
against a lurching grave contagion
some wild and vast


Wednesday 11 October 2023


she somehow neutralized the threat after much fighting and let her thoughts wander, indulging the parasympathetic


would could

i offered you what i could 
and you would not have it
so i gave it all away to the ones 
who could who would



see nothing is permanent. i just got tired trading out shells for new ones. to live in a place i could own on the basis of a loan. i was a dreamer. listening to the oven cook the pulp out of pumpkin seeds. the future did not frighten me.    #katyamills

Sunday 8 October 2023

October 20

voices from war torn regions rise like fire 

anytime a true leader speaks 

the flame becomes a candle   


Saturday 7 October 2023

half of ten

Vitamin K


I was half of ten. Though the clock said midnight it was #dusk and my brother was gone. I hastened to the window where I saw three moons and no sun and life would never be the same. #katyamills

Friday 6 October 2023

butchering classics

when the world is at war and there seems no end in sight, only escalation, i find myself singing more and more. if a missile ever strikes my neighborhood i will scream and run like anyone. later, if i'm still alive, i will sing all the harder, butchering classics.


north of the cross

october was sullen 

the trees bare 

the cider hard

like your stare

i will not be deterred 

i do not scare

one mile north of the cross

at midnight

if you dare



your profound critique 
came off silly 
if you are not offering basic kindness first 
why would we care?


Tuesday 3 October 2023

hard won

like you I have been hurt 

one too many times

god bear witness to surviving the self and other harms done

chin up. until death come we both know 

it will be hard won



im having trouble with life I 

don't even know why

the trees are very still the world like a painting the light infiltrates 

the wings of birds

its too early to feel troubled

now waking and speaking 

i rise up with you

in contradiction


Monday 2 October 2023

the Japanese restaurant

the warmth the cheer
of the Japanese restaurant
receded. the night swallowing us
multi-colored mochi melting
in our bellies

broken glass 
reflected another's misfortune
how is it you walk in the shadows? 
you ask 

no demons lurk here 
it's a myth