Monday 31 January 2022

harvest


the crop harvested and placed in burlap

the children beat their wings against it

the blood pushes and floods the capillary fields

we need never go hungry grandpapa says nor

starve ourselves of all earthly delights  


#katyamills

Sunday 30 January 2022

the love that could not last


wrapped around a light beam
she was. with him
unraveled the cinnamon bun
she had him and he had her 
breakfast lunch and dinner
walked around holding hands
half the day

yet whatever was going on 
in the romance department
no defenses run so deep to 
hold the world off
 
the life of them passed like the sun
basic filaments burning 
less than a year since they met 
caught that fiery orange contagion
cross the sky 


dreaded (came the darkness)...
there, now (she knew it)...
embedded (all the memory)...
it's over (she said it)

#katyamills

action on the street. two thousand some.

the women with newport smooth hundreds walk the sidewalks, smoke sweeps into their lungs. heads dizzy with the chemicals they swing their upper bodies down over the bus stop benches, regretfully, and around go the hips, puff their lips out at the strangers, push middle fingers out at dangers. the drunks duck into meeting halls, intoxicated by sweet anonymity, the junkies escape the blistering heat of the valley, prayers and those who care, or want to care, inside open doors. tears of misery. tears of joy. the women born in the forties and fifties come out with abandon, pushing upper ages into push up bras with powder, in triple digit heat. the older they are the stronger. the men have become very kind and sugar sweet with old age. out with their canes, in wheelchairs, on walkers. ripened and unashamed to be weak after lifetimes of having to be strong. the heat has the strip malls and parking lots cooked, melting tar into rivulets dripping down where the rainwater is supposed to take the oils, the wheels they are spinning and change direction to avoid an ugly truth in the road, the film drips off of grills embedded in the pavement, the fishtails of boys in cars dragging the streets take water in through the gills. the ones been around the block stand there talking, don't need to go around it again, the quiet ones come out to listen to the talkers who are talking to anyone and no one, the young ones quiet and listening but not for long, the young girls holding the hands of the young men and young women, smile and kick up the dust, the young boys are satellites who blush. the workers are working, the players playing cards, the surveyors, construction, on the job, hammering and drilling and surveying, connecting wires, hard hats on hard heads, staring at a soft ass passing by on the street, hard, hammering and measuring and shouting over the trucks, wishing they was talking to some honey, sugar sweet. the smokers are kicking snipes into the street, newports and kools and camels, dehydrated, rolling embers off the end of a half-smoked marlboro, rollies, talking shit, looking, the girls gossiping and looking and laughing a little, the men boasting and smiling, the punks smoking reds like joints. real estate agents taking smoke breaks on the hour. waitresses cursing into their breaks, called back in by a supervisor or line cook to get their asses inside and grab that fucking marinated mountain trout with rice and green beans. they sashay into the air conditioned dining rooms to their tables. waiters incensed by ten percents, dropping cans and butts on cold cement. then out on the streets, free, after they all punch out.  #katyamills

24 hour variables

an ice cube 

to cool a summer sky

the selfless moon faded

to nil. of course none of this really happened like we thought

they asserted with frozen logic 

from outer space


#katyamills

Thursday 27 January 2022

sudden 2

noon comes and goes

god i am tired
my neck and eyes hurt
all forty some years of me
but i endure

tomorrow when the
sky turns i will roar like a tiger
to the whistle of steam

fuck all the noise
i got it in my mind to help
somebody 

there's all kinds of ways i
choose one

#katyamills




Wednesday 26 January 2022

beyond the wildest dreams

following your convictions and craft to they desperate ends will appear to others like superstitions and even a great waste of talent and time. you will be labeled if not belittled in this world where one is supposed to abandon one's dreams and visions and face reality. though devoted and even spiritually fulfilled, you will feel like you got crossed. you will be lonely and almost bitter by common society's rejection of you. you will be aching sore and if you are anything like me, stubborn. swore and demanded more and doubled down. they will tell you your stuff is no good, for if it were everyone would be reading you. this is a lie. you will be tempted to lie to yourself, too. do not. go all in and why? because devotion is uncommon and rare. keep at it, with self abandon, and, i promise you, the kind of wealth beyond the wildest dreams   #katyamills




january 31

dishonest with herself 

on truths she could not countenance

she gave the world the middle finger 

not because she hated life because

she loved it



#katyamills





Monday 24 January 2022

we wait...


4 our luck to change 
4 them to text us back 
4 the rain that will cleanse our soul 
4 inspiration when we have none 
4 that ancient laughter we once shared 
4 that immaculate silence 
2 feel something truly penetrate us 
4 something we cannot get over 
2 get over it

#katyamills

eldorado resort casino



spectrum girls in their dresses
after the ball. happiness is 10 bucks
on a saturday night for penny slots
a man in a wheelchair
jacket pulled over head hiding from the games 
alive and ready to be played 
the earthbound ones lay out
their demands then dissemble
into innumerable grains of sand

#katyamills

Sunday 23 January 2022

biggest little city

 

touched by the gods

encircled by sierra peaks

Reno is some half century old Vegas

pawnshops and desperate cowboys

who lost they hats but found

they girls under the grand 

marquee


#katyamills

Friday 21 January 2022

votive remix

deceased lay the flower beds toxic and soaking perspiration thick as glue. we passed the ethereal fields cranked the shaft flipped a bitch and sailed due north, the agonists and antagonists darting out from the shadows. we released the nitrous oxide mixed with half and half burned the white sage whole off the stern.
petitioned a ragtag battalion of orcas like white blood cells to seal in the heat, caustic energies aft and starboard, signals blaring into the night. the candles they flickered and danced.  #katyamills

Thursday 20 January 2022

writing tip


emotional coloring
extractions from the past 
by intention
can transform the ache of remembrance
and bring your history
back to life


#katyamills

Wednesday 19 January 2022

real time


thoughts accumulate @ the corner of up and down just above freezing
mufflers give away ignitions in the silence behind double pane motel glass
corner of down and up on the back of a harley feeling the torque insane or sane 
we are the strange circumstance of being in this world
real time


#katyamills

Tuesday 18 January 2022

saturday special


here comes Carlo 
to bless us with the egg mcmuffin
all i got this day i hope to give 
coffee. sucre. crema
a crystal clear morning 
i wanna live 


#katyamills

Monday 17 January 2022

break of dawn


run your colors

light your skies 
give away your lasting hope 
to dawn and open 
eyes



#katyamills

be the sea



rise and take the land
speak in tides and rhythms
sing them all to sleep
heal by touch


this is why


when it comes to revolution
capturing minds and hearts
those who disbelieve
it is best to be
the sea


#katyamills

Saturday 15 January 2022

from the heart out

she was in her twenties
existence a slow drip of unhappenstance 
when she surfaced from the midsection of an iceberg
the frozen contents of some formerly fluid 
collective subconscious 
experience

ready to travel the world
she began finally to thaw
from the heart out



#katyamills

the one


walking the mall i
rode the escalators up
and down

thinking 
i might one day find
you knowing i might
never

until then
dug out some cash 
for the dreamy sweater 
wool 


#katyamills

Thursday 13 January 2022

120s. remix


under the lights
the supermodel shows well

backstage draggin on
Slims 120s holds it in her lungs awhile
then lambasts the makeup girl
for missing her
mole

when she exhales it
all goes up in
smoke


#katyamills

Wednesday 12 January 2022

the key

between them
the impasse had taken the shape of a mountain
yet they would not be 
apart

on the verge of incommunicable
they tapped morse code 
across the stars

will you stay in town
tonight? i will leave
the key 


#katyamills

Tuesday 11 January 2022

17

when i meditate on those i knew who went down hard and whom, after all the shock had been absorbed, by anyone who meant anything to them, ascended to the heights of recollection, i am filled with great sadness, giving a damn, decidedly, when i got no damns to give.  #katyamills

Monday 10 January 2022

99 cents @ the quikstop

i am singular

organic yet 100% reconstituted
of unknown ethnic
origin. uncompromised 
inside a racial
divide

i feel island
composing metaverse
they wanna buy me
for 99 cents @ the quikstop

a generation why
32-bit clerk in
16-thread scrubs
calls me off my platform
in the pink cloud
brigade

radiating my
tertiary-processed
64-bit self-serve themed
limousine queen
ego state

they blister and
sizzzzzle


#katyamills

flag.stone

downcast 
sitting pretty on the front porch 
calling you

year after year
my feet bare
upon it
the flagstone 
stops my thoughts



#katyamills






Saturday 8 January 2022

remix she

she takes

these rules-of-road
these mandates federales
these ideas of fairness and fears
she licks them 
speechless

swallows
the music the man
the mainstream
swallows
the age-of-fad line
the cess 
poolz

she carries 
the asses
makes u 
her bitch she 
can liquefy 
the earth 

ignited she fumes
she sucks all the fumes
black with blood
she unassumes

and 
somehow

opening up 
through cold rain of
insect-stung steel
crossing
the many states 
america
kid eyes full 
moon

sending steam
beneath shower head flowers
behind ribbons of rainbow
summer hydrant
waters

somehow
like no one like
no one she 

loves 


#katyamills

california unincorporated

up the hills
to the llama farms
fields of upturned soil
the black sheep tagging behind
unincorporated
california

into a clearing
in the darkness of a day
sunlight woven like cotton
round the swab
they ran

this one
don't need no help in hurtin
do they? a gardener declared
hands on her hips

self-demolished
exhausted
dejected
they ran

finally
into arms

#katyamills

Friday 7 January 2022

dream state



where divining rods
find us
symbols define us
hard of seeing hearing understanding
it signs us

a snake
with patterned somewhat deceptive
hieroglyphic designs 
jaw unhinged

bolts forward 
to strike



#katyamills

Wednesday 5 January 2022

s.lavish



frazzled cutting wires
bending over and under 
endless machinery greasy pipes growling
cobwebbed and cornered they
never started finishing school

blackened by chimneys
smoking snipes
thats how god wanted it 
and it was good

#katyamills

teenage communist


only nineteen reading Marx
she was calmly pronounced a communist
by her ever patriotic 
American family

arguing was useless
she laughed so hard

how would she get the grades they demanded
if she blew off class 
assignments?   


#katyamills

Monday 3 January 2022

the blues of 20.20 twos

to the top of our lungs
the same songs we sing at the top
of the subway stairs
carrying our wares
carrying our 
cares

we pick ourselves up
the world goes around
like there's no future
we let ourselves 
down

may we keep working
through the winters of self
may gratitude blossom 
so renewal can sprout 
from the roots
into shoots

smokin reds
singing blues
the choices
we chose

need not be

the choices
we choose


#katyamills

statica

 
the divine 
exists in the space between stations
where molecules cease 
to behave


#katyamills

Saturday 1 January 2022

cold steel revisited - one one

cold steel got love 
by Katya Mills 


i remember this well. the cold steel in your eyes reflected off the glass of high rise buildings and bottlecaps rolled flat into the street. in opposition to the glossy sky, the kinda deep blue you rarely see anymore in a city. we got together around the time Drake cut his first album which went viral before viral was an expression. the best album. life got crazy for us back then, the whole of us, maybe a core of ten or twenty related intrinsically to a greater constellation, maybe fifty or sixty or more popping off the skin of the larger community. a bunch of anti-establishment mad motherfuckers with nowhere to go just live for today. you won me over quickly, at a time when i was in a lot of pain, my cousin had died, i couldn't make the funeral, my job was hell and life was like a bad breakup. your life was hell and we both knew nothing of a future until it appeared and it was us. something special had arrived. sometimes Hollywood comes out of nowhere, anywhere, thin air like. now Hollywood is Hollywood and behind the scenes it's all one giant character assassination. but it's a damn good show if that's what it takes to create it. you cannot help but fall in love with it. everything decompensates around it. between us we formed a concept. it was our little secret and there could be no dissent. when you feel this, you know this. magic. real end of the rainbow shit. storybook status. like we already made history, before we made it. cold steel got love like us. cold steel got love.



one one


like the one before 

we start our year with trepidation

a measure of chocolate 

and coffee some vigorous exercise

in the frosty air the drip 

of time into our veins renewed 

by the construct of one

one


#katyamills