Boston 1823

drunk

with impossible notions

he navigates the cobblestones poorly

scattering pigeons 

spitting feathers 

cursing god

#katyamills

awakening 1

they awoke to the shaking weight

of a bakery truck driving by

they awoke and knew not how they got there

they awoke to the sun and a heavy fog behind the eyes

an aroma of fresh baguettes

the underbelly of a palm tree

#katyamills

dys.mantle it

they pick your bones

because they can and 

you're supposed to take it

capitalism says so

you haven't figured how

to dismantle that so you get drunk and sad

turning your anger

inward   #katyamills 

1984

you tore into us

drunk again

one of your moods 

unpredictable 

charged 

i tried to make 

myself small i

stood out like a cherry 

on a sea of whipped 

cream

#katyamills

kid (intoxicated)

the carpet fibers were springy
under the step you could
fall in them and sit there in
the middle of the
room

no one would make
a big deal you were
little enough everyone
had a smile

for you except maybe the
most checked out of them
thinking about divorce
wondering how much it
would cost

nobody knew you but you
were drunk some too loaded
off vodka and cranberry and
you knew nobody knew

you nobody knew
or you knew them too
the laughter felt loud all
inside you

wouldn't it be nice
if mom tucked you
in already? why don't you
wanna stay up with the lights
and smiles and candy red
carpet?

you know
they know you don't know
how it feels but you
do

nobody knew but you you
were. guessed you for happy go
lucky

Journal # 02.17.15

Tuesday. Today is Fat Tuesday. I will not be roaming the streets of New Orleans. There will be many an intoxicated human across the cityscape. They may wander into the dark alleys and never be seen again. Or they may find a friend and go for another drink. Or sit and listen to a jazz piano. Or find a girl on the street, and a room. Or wake up from a blackout, on an oil rig. Or in the ghetto, with one of their shoes floating in a mud puddle soaking their clothes. No. I will be drinking water today. Waiting for the rain. Dreaming big. Commencing my edits on Book 2 of the Daughter of Darkness. Praying to God.