ATE235

Grand Theft Life 1.25 a reading

GTL Book 1.19.3

GTL a novella frag 1.18.4

netflixxx

the last episode of the last season pulled
all the feelings
outta me
 today

god it felt good

katya. 2016

Grand Theft Life Book 1.6

Grand Theft Life 1.2.3 videobook

Grand Theft Life 1.2.2 videobook

itching for play (writing process)

my friends, confidence rises as the words fall into place and chapters materialize around central concepts and characters. the cover is itching for play as i write into the future of this series. not knowing where it is going, i understand myself better seeking who i am then being who i have found myself to be. i need not wear the booksellers cap right now. of course i crave readership and less do i thirst for sales. i am much more interested in communicating with my audience than banking off of them. how separate the marketing mind is from the actual making of a book. july has been very good. best month in months for WIP production. i have been back to shouting out from behind my desk, alone in my room but for cats! a very good sign. i don't holler much unless i'm onto something. like any project of any kind, the builder can see when things are falling into place (or not). with this book, not unlike the others preceding it, i found the process of setting the foundation to be painstaking, almost like the surface was some scraggled slippery rock on saturn. like bones on the mend, i had to literally break it up several times and reset it. there were days i could not even walk and meet the site,  the reminder of all the work needing done. the healing has begun. the foundation is in place and the structure rises up and takes form against the harsh landscape! though the inners must be fulfilled, it is a lovely and most tingly experience to walk around and above and look upon the book, the materialized form of it! (i mean in my mind, materialized as a vision) again, this work heals me and has little to do with the separate process of bookselling and building readership. it's a faith play. knowing that it's a fine house and someone will make it their home. the cool thing about a book or work of art, is that the builder shares the home with the reader and the world. i am unsure how large my fan base is, at this time, and it may be very small. but the author, the one who writes, is carefree! carried across the healing process, jettisoned into fresh space, wearing saturn's ring. saying what i needed to say, in an ordinary, heartfelt (ritualized and methodical) way. and the paint job? the cover, she awaits, ornamental, itching for play.

GWB 1:11:2 storytelling

passage from Ame and the Tangy Energetic

"and together they brought the vines smashing across the windows and tearing apart the floorboards, and breaking apart the furniture, the shark fins cutting into Black’s skin and the vines wrapping around him like a snake, yes, she saw a snake in her mind, a silver snake, and the snake was like a secret gift from a friend an ally, like a ring on a finger, she thought, and god am I losing my fukkin marbles but it’s beautiful! and there was the light in Ame’s eyes, the savage blue like the deep waters through which the great white hunted the Atlantic, but the brutality that had so torn her up back then, the very night she met Ame’s boyfriend finally, Maze, and they had taken the subway under the earth and across the San Francisco Bay, for she remembered asking Maze for the window seat and steaming the window like she always did, and wiping it with her arm, and the funny look Maze gave her when she leaned her face up against the glass so she could watch the tracks with one eye and watch the passengers with the other, the look he gave her like why the hell are you doing that? and she didn’t care cause she was able to lean into a nod and look less foolish this way than that, and then Ame turned around from the seat in front, to face them, and was just the nice girl who befriended her back when she was living in that decrepit former nunnery on Lake Merritt and nowhere to go, but afterward, after that really cool show in the Mission, the coming back with a rumbling and rush of air and sound as the train picked up speed in the tunnel heading home to Oakland, this time she sat up and next to Ame who was going on about having been a rockstar for a minute when she got to draw a soup spoon like a bow across some DIY instrument was supposed to pass for a violin, and they were laughing and then when they stopped and the train came up for air, there was a strange tension reminiscent of some intangible tucked far away in her past, a bad energy; and her high was wearing thin but whatever it was was picking up the slack and she saw both Maze and Ame fixed upon someone in the train, and then she was hustled off the train by them at the Broadway station, wondering why the hell they didn’t go on to MacArthur seeing as she was hoping to hit the Imperial where she was staying with Bless and Freddy, and where her secret stash of Somas and Percs were gonna help her to sleep, but she followed them out and up into the street and the Paramount Marquee was all lit up towering over the orange of a Broadway night, and sure enough they were following somebody, and she got a real uncomfortable feeling like she was about to be an accessory to a crime, and sure enough she was"  

- drafted from 'Ame and the Tangy Energetic' (Daughter of Darkness #3) .voice of Kell. coming this summer to an ebook store near you

teaser

I don’t know about this crazy world, all I know is I found this guy on lonely street in the midst of summer heat. He was rollin on wheels against the crackling pavement, facing me and my mismatched socks. I was a child of life size arcade games, Tab, phen-fen, the Who and it’s hard. Ragged was my mind and torn were his clothes, chrome tops of lighters he placed strategically clasping the collar so they sparkled in the sun, this kinda fashion statement allured me, I might be yours, I’m done. His military green vest covered with punk patches, Crass and Minor Threat and Bad Brains. Another sign of order versus chaos, or perhaps just a simple taste in music. 

teaser

Oakland. California. I found home there with our matching lack of tan and lack of plan. The noise all around us, all the cacophony of cell phone signals and street trades happening fifty handshakes at a time and stab you in the back, all the street artists tagging ten walls a time and crazy out there talking themselves into some kinda trouble by pure accident…  (Ame and the Tangy Energetic, Book#3)

Maze 2:9:5 Storytelling

Book Two

Chapter 9

Part 5

In the last episode 2:9:4 a man begins following Kell and she hides. When he finds her she discovers he  was sent to lead her to her uncles, Delux.

Ame & the Tangy Energetic

(a genuine teaser)

I could soak right through her skin, caught in the grip of the city, and live there if she let me, protected and she did, my sister,  going over her lung capacity inhaling, then giving me her lips and taking in the deep river of air. Segue from there. And I began to cry when I first saw through her eyes, okay, the place had been blasted apart and made a clearing, my pupils were pinning and dilating, pulsing as I really got into her, how uncommon the  hopeful pain, starvation and loss for so long, god, Kell, where didya come from? She was right here, beside me, her breasts pressed up against my ribs, our bellies greeting through our clothes, what  hips we had trying to push around, and she started to catch the tears on a fingerprint, getting closer, cupping a hand to my face and though she let me inside, she was not aware how deep I was gonna go, her fingertips she took to her lips and already salt. I would make her thirsty, all feeling her dying and coming back to life and knowing now the interior of addiction and then come clean. I took a simple breath just beyond my lung capacity, made dangerous, then kissed her a hit of my inner madness, and came back to myself with a gasping kind of whistle. She covered her mouth and laughed. There’s a comedian in all of us. I had to crouch down to the floor so blown away by the difference in her and me, and really the influence she had on me, I mean her life, as it came to me in flashbacks, and she crouched down beside me wondering was I gonna be okay. Hiding the smile I gave her, of me. I fell on my knees on the floor and threw my arms around her. God, you are so goddam wonderful. How can you be so wonderful? Looking into the green and wondering reflective pools of her eyes. Like you saw the swamp and survived and it made ya an emerald by its burn, ya, butterflies flew you up and outta that sewer. Catfish gasping for air and feeling for the bottom.  Goddam. A million particles of mulch. The rays of the sun as though caught under ice, bounce around until smothered by the anaerobic. The fish that thrive are all muscle and gray as a country mare. So rubbery they could make for playground balls if you stitched up their mouths. Slippery when dry. All you need to know. Not many survived the swamp, but she did. My Kell. Don’t cross her. I will fuck you up. We cut our teeth on the horns of bulls. Such is why she can go emo and the world will go with her, rainclouds forming and air churning, and a foggy sadness making clarity in your head. 

MAZE (an urban fantasy) Available Now for Pre-Orders!

"Her abduction to the underworld was foretold. Ame, a heroine of an unusual (and by all appearances human) kind, now roams the city streets and feeds off of human fear to survive. Conflicted by the violent practices of her people, she has become nevertheless intoxicated by their ways. In this the second book of Katya Mills' urban fantasy, Daughter of Darkness, Ame has fallen in love with a young man who shares the dark gift, while her best friend Bless vies for her attention. A death dealer of a different kind prowls around the apartment building where Ame and her boyfriend live. Hendrix, a bloodhound for tracking fear, inadvertently leads Ame to Kell, a kindred spirit in the grips of a terrible addiction. Just as Ame seems to be settling into her new life, a secret alliance is exposed which threatens to uproot her, once again." http://www.amazon.com/Maze-Darkness-2-Daughter-ebook/dp/B015CVIMXS

An excerpt from MAZE

The world will get in between, it will, and only true love will survive it. The world will make these moments harder to obtain, push us all apart, make us write the letters, give us only voices, leave us only Kodak frames; time will take the final blow - we will not eat when food cannot sustain us any longer. Love would come around the corner and look at me and smile, it would, and I would have to smile right back or else love would be gone, put up or shut up for a while and the clouds would fulfill all the sky on another rainy day, when nothing was expected, while looking for glimpses of the sun, rubbing the fog of my breath off the glass, love would show and again disappear. There in the park watching me with my head in my hands trying to sort it all out, and a squirrel would come by and I would not pay attention, and a child would come over and I would avert my eyes or hang my head deeper between my elbows, hiding, and when I finally got to looking up with all of it sorted out, love would be gone. I was waiting in line for it, too, tapping my foot or fidgeting around, trying to look cool or at least interesting, wearing my sunglasses indoors, waiting for my number to be called. All that waiting and love was right there beside me, waiting, too, and when I wondered much later why I had not had a chance at it, I would worry myself about it and wonder what was possibly so wrong with me,  not even realize it was right there waiting for me and with me again! And so I might even get so lost in a feeling, lost in my thinking, so lost in the doing, the weave deeper into a rooted sadness with all the laughter and sunshine around me; identifying, identifying with sadness which stayed with me when it might have passed by - but not now! The kids that came to play would demand I play with them, and stomp on my feet if necessary, talk my thinking right out of my head, hold my hand and pull me away from myself; like love forcing itself upon me, attacking me, and I could either fight for my sadness or put up! And heaven is a place on earth when the change comes along and you let it. Earth is a place on earth and a good place when you get with it. Mess yourself up in the dirt. Work really hard and get tired. Like you mean it and then you realize you do, you do mean it, and then it's like a spring or source of fullness inside, out, and it is bright. And you remember it from a long time ago; you might be singing, dancing, or crying with friends or without, inside or out, rain or sunshine, happiness or pain, whatever your condition don't matter anymore, cause love got ahold of you and it's nothing like it ever was before except relentless and freeing.

Journal # 07.11 - the writing life

I may some day write a longer work, one greater than say, a couple hundred pages, but for now I am content practicing the art of novella. I am devoted to these puppies, shy of a hundred pages. The difficulty I create for myself - with the market - is that fantasy genre works are typically 3-4 times the size! So these monsters are overshadowing my lil kittens. No matter, though, because I follow my intuition which is very clear right now like bluish spring water captured at the source. Almost surprisingly clear, like 'perfection' became part of my vocabulary again. As the series will progress (and you can count on that!) I believe I will become more prolific, for I am getting deeply involved with my characters and I am already intimately connected (via past experience) with the setting (Oakland, California). And I fell in love with the process, particularly the finishing flourish I experienced - in fifth gear killing it! - back in February in Palm Springs when I published Book One. The 2 polliwogs I am releasing this year -Grand Theft Life - and - Maze - I believe will blossom into 3 more flowers in 2016. If I can reach and sustain the pace of 3 yearlings a year, clocking in at 25,000 words each (about 75 pages) - one book continuing where the previous left off - I will be a Buddha zen hen laying speckled eggs!

NOVELLA - EBOOK HAS ARRIVED!

Daughter of Darkness has arrived!
Available in ebook format!
Happy Friday the 13th!


CLICK HERE 4 BOOK ONE

DOD Cover Ebook

you could be your own nightmare part - i

She found her knowing when tabbing through cerebellum's internal ledger. Frontal cortex set for auto-pager alerts. She envisioned a world she knew would never be. Those who disagree would be free to disagree. How fascinating the freedom was, to this world's masses. They witnessed it like men in night clubs witness ladies asses. Even in this world you could be your own nightmare. Learn about apathy, how not to care. Fill with negativity like a car up on gas. Suck up to the deacon, attend every mass. Learn to revere the most ass kissing fascists....

 She saw how her world could go way out to lunch.
She saw with eyes open her very best of intentions?  Could lead her off.
Beyond her wildest extension.
This caused her anxiety; she manifested tension.
The knowing she knew, was not playing.

She decided she must stand with her believers.
Or whatever you wanna call those who disagree with disagree-ers.

enveloped in media glaze - fin

There i am
lagging realtime...

red is now blue
and blue is now green is
 now gold is now
 silver

silver surfing
edged off a
screen

separated from the sugar
the lemons turn
orange

there i am
doing the dishes
with my eyes closed

day-trading milliseconds
making a moment
per trade

sometimes life feels like
convincing a pig being hammed
was a cure

there we are
we need another miracle
one was not enough

mother nature
on a rampage
the killing kind

there we are
renewal in the rain
refilling a prescription
for affliction

sensation of merlot
down the gullet
some sorta warmth

there it is
the opiated vision
tele path
tele vision sets
a course for
disaster

i used to tell myself
you are just plain rotten
the best in me
i had downright
forgotten

verboten

another fifth of a second
time traded away

there we are
our gps in
reverb

we are the echo
of a sliver
of a moment
in time

promoted unconditionally
shamelessly
feverishly

it is so sad to watch her unfold
fate. nostalgic

like a carpet
stashed away in the back of your closet
you see all the old stains
and remember
and unravel

this is why i roll it up
and choose
destiny