Wednesday, 4 December 2019

red raspberry

when we were kids a raspberry was a scrape you got running around and making friction against the skin. the kid with the biggest raspberry was honored as a warrior. i remember i once injured myself on purpose. well, it was the first time i ever did that, jumping from a real high place, knowing i would sprain an ankle at the very least. i ended up landing on my arm and sprained my wrist. i remember wishing i had broke it 'cause i wanted a cast for kids to write their names on me. instead all i got was a sling and a bag of ice. i sought out attention in many ways that were backwards. negative. i went on to hurt myself in decidedly dangerous ways as i got older. addiction. putting a cig out on my arm. i wanted to numb all the painful feelings. today i have learned to let the feelings rise and fall without trying to arrest them. your feelings cannot kill you. today i sometimes pack a peanut butter sandwich for my lunch. with red raspberry.

No comments:

Post a Comment