Friday, 22 November 2019

immigrants passing through your mainstream

Today i found a friend who was out there ever since i met him when i moved to sacramento almost 7 years ago. He has entered the VA and has found recovery. i am so thrilled! Every time i visited his profile i worried he would be deceased. he appears to have hit that spiritual rock bottom place i know so well, where your life is shattered and there's no further place to descend to. god can i relate. we go through hell -- our using lives -- and then if we make it one day the pain is so excruciating there is an opening. an honesty. and a willingness to do whatever it takes to recreate ourselves. heal. make something of our worthless lives. hopefully to walk into each day with a purpose and become useful and able to love ourselves and our communities. i told him, i can only wish this for you as i have experienced it myself. and you remind me of myself. i wish i saw this post when you posted it. but thats okay. im commenting now anyways. remembering the past. thinking of you. wishing you well.

Katya Mills
20 November 2011

Posted 2011 [a FB memory hit my timeline]: "Though the circles of my acquaintances and even friends is full of the bad, the ugly, even wickedness among us... i find a dialectic, a contradiction in it, for these same people are capable of love and sweetness beyond measure and I am at times grateful. For there are glimpses of the compassionate! crazy! empathic! sensitive! and sometimes even mature and responsible. the locus of overlap may be small.... yes! we are immigrants passing through your mainstream ! fyi....our intelligence runs deep. intentions pure."

Danielle Carr 

"I remember"  (reply, 2019).

Katya Mills: "sometimes i can't believe it Danielle Carr were we there, was it real? oh. wait. why do i check my locks a half dozen time every night? why do i distrust people on contact? why do i keep my circles small intentionally? why do i keep my eyes open and never get lost in a cell phone outdoors? yes. it happened alright. it happened, sister. we were there."

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