panic

when the worry turns

2 catastrophes which cannot be

panic on the lonely road

the fear of fear this cannot be

heart pounding chills 

time slows down

you cannot breathe

it cannot be

cup your hands

for some small rhythm

in panning the motion slow

for gold. move against the grain

my love counter clock

wise until panic sets

you free

#katyamills

 

wish upon a screen

she gave me a soda
these were better days she
got her boyfriend out
by calling the cops when
he beat her up

let's sit ona brick and concrete slab  drinkin sugar water outta green aluminum cans

who knows how long
this will last

45

i found that when i slept for exactly six hours, my body and mind woke up rested and ready for the day. however, if i did not rise then and decided to sleep another hour, i had dreams and awoke feeling tired. forty-five years old and i am still learning how to sleep and when to rise! there is no work you cannot do when you are rested. so take your rest and do not be so busy for so long.

you have the universal human right to move on

I am sad to have to say goodbye to old friends, but there is nothing to be done anymore to salvage a friendship sometimes, and though my friends may not wanna accept my walking away, walk away I will 'cause there is nothing there anymore, just pain. I am very sad to have to say goodbye and mean it. And then they reach out again to see if they can word something just right to cause me enough trouble grasping what they are suggesting, this old friend takes the pin and buries it subcutaneous and deeper towards my heart, hoping to touch me again in that dreadful yet stale way, to force me back into the dead patterns of negative thought and feeling and relating. And I resist as best I can. For what will it matter how I respond or how vehemently I disagree with what they are suggesting has happened, or some way they think I am responsible for the troubles in their lives? For sure I am equally flawed and in my life have brought storms and darkness upon my own world. I am no better than anybody, though I have my talents and gifts. I am trying not to waste them anymore. I am busy writing books, can you not see? I am busy hoping and dreaming and living in new light. I believe I must move on. I have the right to do so. There is no marriage, there are no vows to hold me here in this heart of mutual misery. I ask that anyone who once called themselves a friend, or still considers themselves a friend of someone who has expressed an interest in freedom to move on and be left alone, ought to consider this: THE UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS    and regain your composure and consciousness and self-respect by ceasing all activities contrary to the basic principles, stop phoning, stop texting, stop emailing, stop cramming your commentary and opinions under the door! Cease and desist in all communications and not limited to the five basic senses by which we perceive one another in this world! Unfortunately you have lost your right to my ever expansive circle of light, and so much as I know, I have lost my right to yours. I can light a candle for you, for sure, and wish you the very best (and get well soon). I have tried and tried for so long to restore a pathway between our hearts, like the one we first knew, but the conditions are no longer safe and the bridge has been devastated and fallen and sunk to the bottom of our sea of tears. I am sorry to see you go, sorry for the loss of a once great friendship. Now I must move on without you.