they break up

they broke up with you and your damn phone @ the emporium of communications

they finally had enough

by #katyamills 3.5.25

felt pretty bad being alive and all

an accident stopped them from running around 

trying to hustle up enough money as they had done their whole life

they listened to all the yearning all the reaching 

inside it was like a waterfall

they got to see what was underneath 

all this ruthless behavior

it felt pretty bad but not as bad as the broken bones

they let the water pound them into oblivion

a lightness overcame them 

no longer a body

a spirit

#katyamills

the sun shines everywhere

the out and down

rather fuck off and get high

in the broke part of town

throw green glass

be with someone you know

or don't know don't matter

you feel about the same 

watching sunlight move

rather spirited yet

empty   #katyamills

we watched westerns

people struggling
people gettin' angry gettin' loud
everything burnin' in the sun spell
people in the city park
wading into the fountains
oblivious

people gettin' high
people gettin' drunk
staring at the sky
hittin' a goldmine
hittin' a vein
barely gettin' by

people bein' offensive
mistakin' themselves 4 radicals
people bein' abusive
mistakin' themselves
for anarchists

everyone wants a headline
even a recluse

sometimes
late at night
other times
middle of the day

sometimes
bottom of the first
tagged by heat
hash brown
eyeballs yellow

ready to steal
flagged
indiscreet

sunny side staring
up from the
plate

after a spell
feelin' so done with it all
we watched
westerns

memory. untitled

i do remember
loving you
your every strand
unique

how i comb
the deep striations
of our whorling time
we shared

lucky me
and lucky you
enveloped in an unjust world

in our all-stars
walking streets
toenails breaking
stride

in our galaxy groove
we move
some masterpiece
outside the Louvre

tossing snowballs
dear Chicago
winters coldest hell
on earth

laughing through the
blizzard of our monetary
fails
some trickle down to
naught

down Division Street
complete
happy getting
what we
got

tale of me
tailing you
comet scattered bits of light

in my blue jeans
modern match girl
picking up your bits of light
making our
mosaic

clear as glass that's not been
stained
brilliant as
one single night

candlelight
i'm after you
the two of us
i know
you knew

shadows
and the cat

the blizzards wake
a code of silence
staring in our
eyes

oh holy nights of Mazzy
Star and magnum bottles
taste your
tongue

its over now
those days are done
your hands in my back pockets
while i sung

caressing
waves of whispers
flooding fields of broken pavement
paradise

street art. 'comet' -photo by k

i dream of autumn colors
open skies
midwestern
eyes

before the pages
written
read

sharing all our bits of light
the comet tail
our nights in bed

getting what we
get

i proselytize the burning moon
replete in dark sky formals

eclipse us now
and cancel out
our every last
regret

© Katya Mills, 2014

mental - quattro

He was showing me unconditional positive regard.
I was telling him all the ways and places I was scarred.
He was chewing on the fat of my tales.
I was eating all my fingernails.
He was redirecting me like a train conductor.
I saw red and charged like a bull.
He was charging me through the teeth.
Paid in full.

I was waxing poetic.
His thoughts told him I was pathetic.
I gussied up to him like a whore.
He had his back to the door.
I blasted him for offering me Prozac.
He looked at me like I was crazy.
Called me a fucking throwback.
Or was it the voices in my head?

I slit my wrists and put them in his face.
He let me bleed out. Unconditionally.
I paid to have his carpet cleaned.
To keep my credit clean.
He was showing me unconditional positive regard.

I asked for a cup of tea.
He fifty-one fiftied me.

I ran away before the sedation.
Into the flickering movie
of guided imagery.

He was golden showering me
with unconditional positive regard.
I had clearly drawn up my knees,
drawn up my guard.

He drew checks off my back account.
I drew pictures of infinity.
He rented Girl, Interrupted. 
Then handled me with
more or less
care.

I was embryonic again.
Statuesque.
He wore a Buddha smile on his face.
I was unfashionably broke
and stressed.
Developmentally-challenged.
Locked up in chemical
arrest.

He poisoned me with
unconditional
positive
regard.