beholden to the wind

you slammed my bedroom door 

all throughout the night

howled into my ears forced me 

out of bed you blew away 

my style. beholden to the wind 

i am. when they see me 

all shall run  #katyamills

trespass. in a storm

There was a storm last night. The wind and rain assaulted the trees and many limbs were lost. A palm frond fell on my head as I was leaving my apartment and I forgot my name and yours. I broke into a car with keys I found in my pocket, to find shelter from falling stars. They tend to be much bigger and more dangerous in person. I noticed a warm light stretching out from an apartment in an adjacent building, so I opened the gate and entered the yard and walked cautiously up the stairs, which were littered with stardust, the skin of trees and wet leaves. I knocked on the open door and called into the light. Nobody came. That's when I felt the tickle on my neck and realized my head was bleeding. Otherwise I wouldn't have gone inside. How strange and fortunate to find pictures of myself and my family on a desk and table; I no longer felt so bad about my trespass! Clearly this stalker of me had great taste in art and food and music, I thought, as I snacked on their Blue Diamond sea-salted almonds and sweet peanut-butter coated granola bars while listening to the Jimi Hendrix Experience in stereo on vinyl. They even had my favorite hot sauce and moonrocks, and brown eggs, too. Then some baby tigers approached me and looked to me like I was their leader. I offered them coleslaw but they weren't interested - not until I drew a puddle of sweet cream across a saucer for them.

Nobody ever came home, so I made the place mine with very little rearranging necessary. I even answered the phones with a catchy name I made up which was well-received, and all of the magical passwords which came to mind automatically, opened me into their systems so I could learn exactly who I was supposed to be, in one week time, and all my new clothes fit perfectly. How fortunate I cracked my head open on that singular stormy evening! Otherwise I might still have nothing and be nobody, and that was no way to be. Damn. Now I'm gonna have to consider paying taxes.

living off a lien

This one 
steady preaching 
weakening the
room

against my
desire

flattening life
down to matte finish
matinees

i tried to scream
it stole my breath

i was downcast
the entire day
overcast and
thrown

against my 
desire

i woke up 
in the middle of the night
pulled its guts out
 the wall

it tried to scream
i stole the breath 

imagine waking up
to calm

mammoth fronds 
blown off the palms 
gone with the wind

we survived fallin'
tree cartilage
for 24 hours 
or more

woke up
to quiet calm

the fire
inside me
inside you

the desire

it was
    not mine

living off a lien
in twenty
 fifteen

last ache. 2014

eye - eye
- eye

there it is again
some sorta pain

no need to ask
god why

listen to the wind

listen to mister coffee
brewing 4
misses
drinks-coffee

away from the pain
away! (the pain)

(somethin' about they don't understand)
(somethin' about what i did not or could not do)

about hopeless
about helpless somethin' about
less and less
nesses

solace

what a word
what a dream...

what a day i had

fallen asleep by the kitten
to end it

wishing i knew
how to curl
round my
tail

too


poem © Katya Mills
photo © Katya Mills

journal entry. date unknown. (performance)

journal entry. date unknown.
Posted on December 4, 2014 by KatYa


And suddenly the long uneven thickening and thinning motion which we followed for days, to some terrifying expanse of the same substance, which slipped through our hands and burrowed easily into earth, endless before us; suddenly jumped up into the air, unseen, and immersed us, standing there. We tried to take cover, yet still could not escape it. I shivered so long. I knew not would we survive. One of us took on a strange chill, became quiet and very hot to touch. Then ceased to be anymore. Another one then began to shake and call. Overtaken by the bitter salty substance fell out the eyes for days on end. They, too, would soon cease to be. The rest of us finally understood. We fell down before the mighty moving creature. We prayed. Then cupped our hands around it, breaking some off from the whole (though appeared unbroken), and looked at one another one last time; then took it to the lips and raised our eyes to the sky, open pale of neck, and let the substance seep into ourselves! A most unusual feeling as it reached down into me! Further! We waited. We then fell one at a time, to earth, and fell asleep awaiting.Then rose I know not when or how! And smiled! And embraced one another! For we were still alive! From this moment forward, we drank and followed the uneven line of this great, mysterious, borderless, lightness of mass. Trusting. Cupping it in our hands and hollowed tree limbs. It led us to verdant wonders never before seen, or known! We listened and the sound, once frightful, was now soothing us to sleep. The air was fresh, and colorful at times! And in the mornings, sometimes, as light awakened life… we immersed ourselves entire, in cool and friendly waters still. Life would never be the same.

WHAT THE WIND REMEMBERED (SONG)

Original poetry / lyrics by Katya
Original song / performance by Katya

what the wind remembered

nobody remembered her name or her face
or the pale of her wrists
by the edge of her lace


no one remembered the man or his name
who sunk his axe deep
in the wood
in the yard
in his sleep


only the wind still whispered her name
through the gaps and the floors
through those walls
made of wood


and wrung out the leaves of the trees
just like hands
to remember the others


the other ones who had died
there


two and twenty years before
and twice as long
before then


and twice as long
before then


and twice as long
before then

so shall it be

i love you more
i love you more

the words
opened windows
opened the
doors

i love you more
carried on across a breezeway
an old Portland
Oregon

musty Victorian
planted home in the rain
and damp

clouded like a broken
amp

being opened
to air out
all of a sudden

segue

french doors pulled apart
by old american arms
still strong from
a million and one
embraces

Florida room windows
pulled up from seated
faces

i love you more
whistles through the screens

our houses
our bodies

the cataracts slippin'
like contacts out
our eyes

i love you
more        2 see
i love you
      more        2 feel
i love you
more and more

and so
shall it
be

where we go from here

i will go extinct
with you

to a place
no one
sees

afar away so
far away

with you
i know
a place
to go

from land and sea
and chestnut
tree

to timeless honey
amber seeds
grown up in milky
weeds

thrash about
the ankles of
the dagger
trees

in porous ozone
magnifique
of everglades on bended
knees

the wind will turn to
water then

our words need no
translation
there

you braid my hair
i nick your name

in ghostly hollows
full

we harbor not ill
will

we selfless
standing small and
still

talking through our golden
eyes

where smiles wide
formulate
new skies

please!

now don't be
scared

come with me
extinct
you see

we've only just
begun

© Katya Mills

flash. reach the beach

a sacrifice
on demand

an edifice
push
into
sand

i dream on sea
i dream on wind

i dream on
dream on
land

© Katya Mills, 2014

'the wind remembered'

- K - Original poetry
written and performed by K

- K - attitude art series
'evolve'

 

the wind remembered

 nobody remembered her name or her face

or the pale of her wrists

by the edge of her lace



no one remembered the man or his name

who sunk his axe deep


in the wood

in the yard

in his sleep



only the wind still whispered her name

through the gaps and the floors

through those walls

made of wood


and wrung out the leaves of the trees

just like hands

to remember the others


the other ones who had died

there


two and twenty years before

and twice as long

before then


and twice as long

before then


and twice as long

before then

what the wind remembered

nobody remembered her name or her face

or the pale of her wrists

by the edge of her lace

 no one remembered the man or his name

who sunk his axe deep

in the wood

in the yard

in his sleep

only the wind still whispered her name

through the gaps and the floors

through those walls

made of wood

and wrung out the leaves of the trees 

just like hands

to remember the others

the other ones who had died

there

two and twenty years before

and twice as long

before then

and twice as long

before then

and twice as long

before then

'house at 22nd and F' by katya