free radical

Reno

surrounded by players

on a Saturday night

he was highly reactive

a free radical 

over his heart

with love unparalleled

she placed her painted hand

to quell the impending

conflict

#katyamills

Nevada morning

24 floors up encircled by a mountain range
dipped in snow

i was looking down on the streets by

the old Cal Neva. drunks and construction workers

walking the streets. cold dawn

you were watching bad chad on the tele
hunting junkyards for a contracted car

i stretched yawned tumbled on 

down to the lobby 4 my first cup of coffee

time to weld a chassis to this frame 

and get back in 

the game

#katyamills

biggest little city

 

touched by the gods

encircled by sierra peaks

Reno is some half century old Vegas

pawnshops and desperate cowboys

who lost they hats but found

they girls under the grand 

marquee

#katyamills

fragment

from a letter i wrote to someone i once loved
- KatYa

Mt Rose, 2016

"i love you. we've been through alot. i wont forget it.
all i can do now is just live through it with you. until maybe
i need to live through it without you? i dont know. its different
looking one day to the next."  (2011)

Journal # 09.20.16

Another night followed another day followed another, the rails scraped clean by braking, the trains screaming down the line. Somehow I killed my depression and went on living lightly. Then it came back hard bearing down and I jumped out of the way. What do you want with my life? I am not rich. I am not pure. I am not decent. I am convoluted and curse a lot. I eat Doritos for breakfast. I talk to cats like they are my children. I am a favorite scapegoat. An object of attraction. A third rail. Of all the people in the world...

must be
      you want
          what you cannot have