ORION

Orion and I was tryin to love you but it was hard. We cannot always be sure of ourselves in every way, and when I broke out (in anger) the words hurling and curling their way lugubrious in the chill of autumn air,  and you there; I seemed unable to stop myself so righteous and defiant for a five minute drive home from dinner.  God it was the worst of me. Of course I took to rest by the sounds of postseason baseball curious to the darker mood. I wanted the electricity back. But we all sometimes short circuit. I woke with an apology on my lips and typed it into a text. You were calling, calling me, but in these early hours of the morning on my free days the only one i talk to is in my slippers out on the back porch with the long hooded sweater woven black and white around me staring up to the heavens missing the moon, I mean Orion.

the universe isn't just dying

The universe is living. Maybe our universe looks to be collapsing, but who knows the outcome. We are each an infinitesimal particle of our universe, so whatever is going on inside us may be considered representative of the greater whole. We may know the universe personally. And when I consider my intimacies with our universe, going inward, I see that our universe is very much alive. The universe may be dying, but the word carries too much baggage and grief. I think what's going on is change, the universe is changing.

facing the new moon

Thirteen of Friday
i got lucky
(all day)

Saturday
(of hearts)
beating away

Sunday
(the best)
a day of rest

Mardi Gras lived
behind masks we all wore!

like snow
facing New England
the Monday
before

Wednesday was ash
my knees hit the floor

Thursday
the new year
inscribed in Chinese

you made me your wife
singing marry me!
please


KatYa Mills © 2015

the day suffering died

Her eyes reflected Mercury
the sun 
   not far away

Through branches
capillary 
red
they saw 
by the reflection

         suffering was
      dead

time for endless
              bliss

cryptic

i'm gonna see ya
super moon
through a reflection
in the dish
ran away with
the spoon


i'm gonna tell ya
super moon
all my troubles


then as you look out
upon the full earth
tonight


giving us
all your light
super sweet moon


i'm gonna grab that dish
ran away
with the spoon


i'm gonna hold her
in both hands


i'm gonna walk
from my home
out into undiscovered
lands


i'm gonna face you
out in the open
under some awestruck
constellation


i'm gonna look up direct
my camera eyes
gonna aperture wide
to receive your blessed offering
super moon


and the dish
become a symbol
vibrates like a cymbal
i hold her high
to the sky


rising up
on my toes
my shoes sunk now
into earth
all my cares
left behind


my arms stretch up
until pulled
magnetically now


the symbol (was a dish)
glowing now
absorbing


im shaking
salty drops
burgeoning up
from my skin


pale in the night
my fingers wrapped tight
around archetypal confluence


this
our unitive
alchemical unraveling




then all of your super
full loving free lightness
of being


drops like sundrops!
upon all our oceans!
our forests!
our seas!
our trees!


to the delight of
an awestruck sky
oh my!


oh my
i am high
floating above ground
rising to the sound
of the symbol
full of light

and then
without warning
i become more than me


i become
of the skies!
of the seas!
of the trees!


my eyes
become saucerful
secrets


moon sediment
covers my sense
of sight


no longer needed


reflecting
all that you gave me
now all that i
know


of future lives past
and presence so still


i dream of a valley
i dream of free will
i live in a dream
super moon she
created


i find love for all people
i once hated


i am left
a symbol
a conduit
a codified prayer


you made of me
super moon some
channeling mystic


i am elated
i am cryptic

© Katya Mills