the day I married an idea

I could not fall to sleep last night for some time. Someone was planning a wedding through my window. I wanted to keep the window open so i could listen to the rain. It doesn't rain much in the central valley and I grew up in New England where it rains all the time. A couple of the girls were mean, drunk and loud. Why would you want cousin Elle there? Cross her off the list, she's nobody to you. Tell her she can come to the reception if she wants to see you so badly! This is your day, not hers. It wasn't a stretch to believe that people could be so cruel in the service of loyalty to the bride. I thought it best to forego my future of sweet falling rain and shut the window. There would be no bells and confetti or Dionysian charm, still, you could say I got married to the idea.

facing the new moon

Thirteen of Friday
i got lucky
(all day)

Saturday
(of hearts)
beating away

Sunday
(the best)
a day of rest

Mardi Gras lived
behind masks we all wore!

like snow
facing New England
the Monday
before

Wednesday was ash
my knees hit the floor

Thursday
the new year
inscribed in Chinese

you made me your wife
singing marry me!
please


KatYa Mills © 2015

SHE COULD HAVE ME

"I would give in to her, and only her. All she had to do was rearrange the stars to spell my name in the sky. Sure, she could have the totality of me. All she had to do was compel the Buddha out from under that tree, to come and sit beside me. Ya, then I would be hers. All she had to do was pave the streets in platinum, put pearls around my neck and ankle, ink our love forever in a secret place on her body, put an end to all my pain, dress me in black with a white rose behind my ear, ask my hand of my divinity, by the thought heard around the world. I had no lofty demands! All she had to do was marry me, in San Francisco City Hall, with a sea of origami white ravens overlooking. I was easy! All she had to was what she did last night, a hundred and one times over, and love me down to my cotton stuffed ears and black button eyes, my DIY made soul patched together with fishing line leftovers." -K

a way aways (cold steel# iii)

a way aways

part iii dedicated
to kali to kila
to february 12, 2013 = 11


She takes
yer rules-of-road
yer mandates federal
yer ideas of fair
yer fears...

she licks them speechless

swallowed
the music-the man-the mainstream

 swallowed
the line-the linear-the madmadlineage

swallowed 
the age-of-fadness' rivercesspoolz

fell
into her wake
deconditioned
decommissioned
transmissions.....

swallowed
into her lake like history
that which B
swallowed by
the sea

this sucker she
will make you her bitch
and liquefy all the earth
around us

you and me both

this fucker
will have us
suck fumes

FUCK - uuuuuuumes

she whines
ignited
turned over
her oilpans full with
blackblood, she

unassumes

like
no one
never knew


but, i think,
strange to say
she loves somehow
through cold rain of
insect-stung steel

cause
that was back then
wasn't that?

cause now
she is all
opened up
on open road...

carrying my needy ass again
she sounds
 like a ten
out of ten


and she carries
me and mine and
our kid

eyes full moon
our kid
what me made
we made

she marries
our nineteen eighty
static images 
small town to suburban
to urban...

she crosses
the many states
of miss america...

compelling 
telling
turning

toward all
our consciousness...

always
a great distance
incomparable

like steel
and flesh

a safe way aways
sending up steam
behind lawn-hose-sprays

ribbons of rainbow
summer hydrant
waters
in our war against
the roads we travel

residuals
washed off her

then quiet dripping
in the garage
we leave her
safely kept

a safe distance
while we send up steam
beneath showerheads
 in our home...

safely kept

steady-dripping
the day's residue
toward the drains

a way
  aways
   leaves us

-fin-