sunrise 1

her face the sun had not touched for many weeks. she worked at night and industry never sleeps. the early sun caught her near the horizon pulling laundry off the line before the rains. she let the sheet fall to her chest. closed her eyes and felt it. #katyamills 

dec.ade

 ten years before

on the brink of madness

they slept rarely and up all night

emotions swallowed them 

there was nowhere in the world

they knew to be safe 

ten years on

they would never forget

the terror of the past

and each and every new sunrise 

they was inside and out

radiant

#katyamills

how you keep it together

the sun rises every morning. sometimes you have to pull the curtains back from the windows and let the light in, otherwise you may not know. the sun did its part and showed up. you have to do your part now, and arrive on scene. in the light and feeling the world upon your exposed skin, you can be rugged and raw. just exist. you won't have to recite your lines, though they may ask you. the longer i live, the more i find it difficult to rehearse. painful to memorize. how i keep it together (when i keep it together) is by showing up honest and true, hiding nothing. it can be painful getting here, and the magic lies in spontaneity. which also means... we cannot always keep it together. it won't necessarily break their hearts to see us falling apart for a moment. i love to watch them watch me regroup.

forty years ago

i wanna go back to the world the way i remember... is it because i was younger or life was less complicated? or have i forgotten i felt the same way about the world then as i feel about her now? i wanna walk in ona sun, rising this morning, and see if it's the same it was as forty years ago.

wheels

there's really nothing wrong with two people coming together for a time, living together, being together, and then having differences drawin them apart, a change of heart, and then lookin for another start somewhere else with someone else. there might be a culture invested in keeping you together or a family that hopes for you to heal. and yes, you could recover, the two of you, you could but it would have to take both of you with all your might to make it right. all the bad blood pooled up like that. it would be very hard. the world wants you both to make it, yes, the culture, maybe even the family. but suns rise and wheels roll and pavement cracks and suns set, and what with all the change you find it hasn't happened yet? there's really nothing wrong with moving on.

all in all

all in all
tinge of darkness under
 the eyes
lips the color
of dawn
smile the shade of
sunrise

Journal # 02.25.15

Wednesday. Local sunrise and the global warming. Generic black tea. Thoughts of you hold me together.

I will not see you today. I will not touch you. I will only know you by the blue predawn, you cast upon my blood.