i could not have known

how to live
had i not taken many risks
uneducated
with a no reward principle
to guarantee my
misery

feeling normal
never taught me
nothin

pearls

life got painful. you couldn't take it anymore. so you found a corner to cut. you got caught. you were young and that's what we do. we make big mistakes. we are reckless. learning how to live.

today the pearls are strung twice around your neck. turkish coffee drips into ceramic, sheltered inside your hands. nails translucent like newborn sea shells. all that ever happened in your eyes.

silly

i feel silly cuz i haven't got a need 

to be so serious all the while. i can

act like a child a few moments every

day. when i was a child i did not 

have the luxury of being silly much

of the time. my parents were heavy

drinkers, god bless them, and not 

always friendly with a hyperactive

kid. so i was taught how to mute

the playful spirit and shut up.

k nov'2017

Journal # 04.14.15

Black jade helps protect me in times of trouble. What has been given me by loved ones and friends, whether material or immaterial, offer the most viable potency. White light can be summoned in meditation or even given to someone i meet who i feels needs it. The elements are pure and not to be trifled with -- at one's own risk. Use of fire, water, air, earth, for any purpose must be sacred. Fear is a constant companion and must be seen and dissolved throughout the day. Present moment carries the most access points for carrying anything out. Not to diminish the potentials in time travel, visions, or other possible use of the temporal. Love is a word easily tossed about in a modern world. I can only experience love anymore through action not words. I do not identify as anything. I only know what i know and what i do not know. I may wear many hats, but each one can be replaced. mystic. author. poet. counselor. empath. androgyn. intuitive. lover. friend. sister. daughter. athlete. addict. punk. schizo. Lucky numbers #4. #444. #7. #8. #11. Astrology can help. Pagan can help. Transpersonal can help. Mindfulness, prayer, light, energy, consciousness. Then go out of the head. Stop the thought and find source energy. Cycle. Recycle. Who knows? Maybe something wonderful will come of it all?