honor

slept in… yesterday was outdoors in the happiness of spring sunshine and clouds … running … good feeling … Tosh came over we ate junk food … pizza … watched an old movie from 1971 … woke up tired  happy and worn out. sometimes we learn to honor our feelings by writing ... I was very very small and not anyone really honoring them because they were secondary to getting by.  #katyamills   #katyamills

envy and foreboding

foreboding was the sky
foreboding the crack of beer he opened home from work

she thought up the colorful ways
she might get out of the building


she stared at blondie through the open window
her heart full of envy
all night on the fire escape swishing tail
unaccosted

#katyamills

some days harder than others

express yourself

may the pain be 

dispelled

out.let

the water comes to a boil
i measure out some grains
juan valdez to wake me up
coffee black on a full moon


friday. everyone lookin 4 an outlet
i got mine behind these
keys



#katyamills

momentum. writing process.

You got the scars and now you're seeing stars, you have your vision about you, it's time to write that story and see where it goes, take off all your clothes, undress the wounds. Let them see you. Finally. Picked up the slack and got your pretty self hitting keys with an urgency; that licklack-click-clackallack, riding the train high off your pain, maybe some beats to keep your heartened. What started as a dream became your work in progress.

Now if it's short blast, high frequency flash, sudden or smoke-long, well, you can pick up anytime and push it out. But if it's longer form and you have that kinda stamina, well, it's a momentum game. You will know it when you get there. Another cup of coffee. Don't forget to sleep. Don't forget to dream about it when you're waking. All the time I swear I have it in my head, that WIP. Cause it works itself out, only slowly, with undivided dreaming the plot develops in my emotional darkroom. The container must be sealed, shielded from social media and the drag of everyday life. The fabric stitched together, then torn apart in places and replaced, reconnected to the whole drive, thematic.

The water will be charging you, ionic bond to the vision. Watch out for the dam. When the locks change you may not be able to get back in so easily. Requires extra effort and self-confidence, sometimes. You might break in through a window. Recall must be superb, almost perfect. Next time you get that puppy tail wagging -peeing with unharnessed shaking excitement- take her out to the park and set her free. Stand in the green spring grasses looking over your WIP with pride. Carry the momentum to see your vision through. Let the words take you, and the pain fall, away. By the end? I promise -- the vision will carry you.

do not be confused

Today is your day to kick ass. Even if someone's got you imprisoned, even yourself in your own mind, but even then you can ask for a book cause that is your right. If whoever has you locked down won't let you read,  try and exploit the weakness in their rigidity, all the way to your freedom. Today is Friday and your chance to shed the skin of the past and come out all bright and shiny and new. People will notice you if you simply show up. I like to walk somewhere, under the sun, walk a mile or two and find a cafe and sit and watch and think and write. Maybe let a friend know I will be there, so they can come see me if they want. Today is your day to kick ass. Don't let social media hold you back. Get back to your sacred expression. In whatever form. Respect yourself and they will respect you, too.

If you get tired, by all means meander, online or off, but come back to yourself and your connection with what only you know and let it speak. Make that fashionable statement only you can make, whether its how you dress how you walk how you talk how you write how you sketch how you  skate how you run how you gesture how you preach how you teach how you fight how you give how you help how you see how you feel how you deal. Be you. Be free. Be real.
  - K

society has come to polish off the self

I need complete silence for as many hours of every day and as many minutes of every hour and as many seconds of every minute as I can get. There are big ideas circulating which will otherwise be lost to dark matter, casualties of the smart phone alert system. And if comprehension of these ideas are lost, I will be lost with them. Society has decided communal is the only way, at the expense of any self. Myself, yourself. Society has declared the individual no longer to be trusted, no longer significant. Society has come to the internet to polish off the self. There is a war being waged for control over the web, a war of individuals demanding free expression against the ever matriculating constituents of the giant dark formless blob. Hold on to your hats!