read me from a safe distance

i was killing someone off in my book today. in the library sitting at a table reserved for teens and no teens around just books. it was awfully quiet. i like it that way, my killing floor. nobody would suspect anything. i have been meeting more people, and they aren't turnin me off lately. i almost wanna meet another one today. very unlike me. maybe it's the weather. maybe it's because i got my hair done, my eyesight fixed, and my teeth drilled. i am about to paint my nails for the author festival on sunday. i plan to meet a lot of other murderers, i mean authors. we usually look so sweet at face value. we can take your attributes and turn you into monsters. what would happen if your families fell apart slowly? don't worry. we will put them back together. you won't look the same but you will be made of many pieces and cool to look at like a glass mosaic. it's therapeutic. can i sign that for you? you see my blood red nail polish. go somewhere and read me from a safe distance

broken ends never end

Sometimes I paint my nails. Or I polish them, without painting. French manicure is my favorite style. I like to grow my nails out and the paint helps strengthen them so they won't break. But I play guitar so I usually cut them back. Or they break when I am doing the dishes or working on my bike. I have not been to a salon in over a year. I highlighted my hair myself, and there are many broken ends, but I don't care, just let it grow. Life is full of broken ends so you might as well do yourself a favor and accept it and move on.

I don't mind if I look wild. I rarely wear high heels or dresses. I never really did much anyway. I am fluid in gender expression, identity and sexual orientation. I have been with men and I have been with women. I have fallen in love with them, or not. I never really saw myself as one or the other, exactly, but somewhere in between. My fashion is mostly androgyn. I wear what makes me feel comfortable and confident. Because confidence is sexy. I am tall and thin. Light on the dimensions.

I'm not at all interested in being admired for my looks or my intellect. I would rather be known for a kind heart. I challenge myself on a daily basis to convey the loving spirit in my heart. I tend to get shy and reticent with people, I mean my spirit, which is why writing has been my medium. I learned early how to express my true self to you with words. And it is essential for anyone to shine in their own chosen way. So go on. Let's not be shy. Shine!

'madman'

So what if I am disturbed. I cannot stop playing with my hair. My doctor saw me I was taking the ends and wrapping them about my fingers then sucking on the whole damn lot of them, and he said 'that's very strange' and then went on with the discussion of my health. I had not said anything to defend myself. I guess I thought it funny that he called me strange, even if it was only what I was doing. I did not say anything because you know how people are, so defensive and all. For sure he would have gone to great lengths to ruin it. He would have said something like he did not mean i was strange, only that what i was doing was strange. You know, separating out shame from guilt or some kinda stupid moral compass thing, which you would expect him to do, being your doctor and all, supposed to be professional. I really kinda liked that he thought I was strange. I had lots of broken ends, that's why I did it. I really was disturbed anyway. Everybody knew that.   - KatYa