broken ends never end

Sometimes I paint my nails. Or I polish them, without painting. French manicure is my favorite style. I like to grow my nails out and the paint helps strengthen them so they won't break. But I play guitar so I usually cut them back. Or they break when I am doing the dishes or working on my bike. I have not been to a salon in over a year. I highlighted my hair myself, and there are many broken ends, but I don't care, just let it grow. Life is full of broken ends so you might as well do yourself a favor and accept it and move on.

I don't mind if I look wild. I rarely wear high heels or dresses. I never really did much anyway. I am fluid in gender expression, identity and sexual orientation. I have been with men and I have been with women. I have fallen in love with them, or not. I never really saw myself as one or the other, exactly, but somewhere in between. My fashion is mostly androgyn. I wear what makes me feel comfortable and confident. Because confidence is sexy. I am tall and thin. Light on the dimensions.

I'm not at all interested in being admired for my looks or my intellect. I would rather be known for a kind heart. I challenge myself on a daily basis to convey the loving spirit in my heart. I tend to get shy and reticent with people, I mean my spirit, which is why writing has been my medium. I learned early how to express my true self to you with words. And it is essential for anyone to shine in their own chosen way. So go on. Let's not be shy. Shine!

confessions after a blue moon

Cali state fair by Katya

I ran the fields and I was considered dangerous for a time, twenty-nine years ago, and what a great feeling to be a wild one, the one who ran right past you and left you standing cold. I confess I am not very feminine in the traditional sense. How difficult a word to employ anymore. Let me unemploy it then, for every girl and boy.


I am still in heart a wild one, the one who loves the heart of the storm and cherishes the sound of sirens, yes, the one who  hastens to my death sometimes, Thanatos, keep my blood refreshed! Now I am in love with the life, again, like I was back then, when only the good died young and I wanted so bad to be good. Now I am having the adverse reaction to TV. Now I am restless in the sleep. Now I am pursuing the dream. Now I am indifferent. Now I am free.