Wednesday 30 June 2010

Being there... the immediacy

life is happening all around me...i cannot think of a better way to describe its immediacy. my little life, twenty ten, than to give it to you. us all. immediate. and RAW. which can be so immaculately whole like hard boiled egg
like apple
like feelings
like love
like suffering
the dialectic. the infusion one through other...approximate sublimation.
close to devotion. closer to helplessness. decidedly unitive. salient. piercing even!
this experience...

in a blender

gotta capture this. the chemistry. deliver it in white delicate wrappings
like birds wings, yet stronger. and more revealing of  true nature

not my words! haha. now you know im ready, youre ready
like the space shuttle liftoff.
everything attuned
 about to
catch fire!

below read a letter i wrote to a sister living in a bottle lately and incommunicado. i suffer her absence in my life. its loud. its empty. today she called twice. left one voicemail. breathless. suffering. unable to wrap her mind around her lips to enunciation. living in bottles. big glass ones probably. little brown transparency of LizTaylors trademark lifespan standby, or so they say. my friend, my sister, she is also my liztaylor in my life. and we love Elizabeth, we cherish her. we can hardly stand you if you do not. that kind of fierce pact. like Bette Davis and just so cracked. stay with me.

stay with me now, come on, focus. you can do this, sweetie. i know its hard. but its compelling, too! i know you feel this too. the insanities. the frothy stirrings of lifes quicksand bottomed, magnolia laced, the lazy hanging live moss of confederate tinged graveyard. maybe wiccan in ritual. or pagan in practice. past lives must connect with this. otherwise i wouldnt say so. the bs factor should be minimal, my dear. every fabrication = bs factor sunk deeper. it fills the space so well, doesnt it, my hypervigilant scrawl? can you sense the desperation? understood via your phone call.

drastic is the field, assessed. off center, off plane, irrhythmia set to complacent. the dying seed is nascent, in your big giant heart, my friend. you are vulnerable.  Only you know what must yield!
for me its like dipping the little toe, into some sketchy life of kindreds... maybe Faulkner, maybe Poe.

intoxicating. commence internally, without sound the plane is shifted.
we get closer, to elevated intimacy status: watermark lily (upgrade from pale ).
early film divas we are again, with style. with grace. we can own any sudden place.
focus now, see us. wrapped in white transparencies...non-denominational...
non-violent...naturally momentous

Clear the channel. Breathe again. you with me? i know its different. dont get confused. we are here. all is well, all is clear if not linear. belly full. dream of cinotaur. Open crown chakra to sky. Open soles of feet to earth. Posture, please! now... run that energy, girl. lady. soul. now send it! the letter. the manifest. the letting be known of humble and devoted presence. two way street communicado!  (a step evolved from roosevelt-circled radio)

disintegrate = incommunicado
emanate simple sugar of compassion
now liftoff
feel the passion
end without end
evolved from on-and-off

 Sweet spirals spiraling!
without end

Dear D, 
so what if your life is at risk?
your medical situation?
it feels to me in my sixth sense that you are medically on the verge
are you really ready to cross over?
i dont want you to!
im selfish i guess.
sometimes you are too, remember?
when you dont want me to!
this i confess 

but this feels critical.
do you even check your email anymore?
do you eat? do you think about your plan? what is it?
your son. your daughter. your people. they need you.
i think so.
i think you think so,
is what i mean, sweetie.

i dont think you should go!
must i really really say so?

if you did decide to go,
the possibilities exists
to be exhausted
not to daydream or fuck around!
(the things you people think! Aries vs Aquarius,
then tagteam Aries to Leo)
i will know your moves

how about
going with some dignity? some love of self?
life as preparation for death,
not some kinda lower life cause or attachment to bottles
no pollution, eh? come on now, sister!
im not your sister because we are petty or weak
we are empowered individually! collectively!

you know of which i speak

i send you my love to survive through this and learn
increase wax awareness
get bigger than
turn emergency
into emergence

i love you. i love we
and will love us to death
if i cannot love us
back to life, goddamn!

all my heart,

No comments:

Post a Comment