2 work

got stuck in a loop again searching 

for the best self before we went extinct

could not find it on the phone

could not find it 

in a pill... 

found the best self

just going to work with you

and doing what we

do

#katyamills

sweet.ness

the city streets was ice cold

they had clarity of thought and dangerous 

in the best way

disarming you with unanticipated sweetness

violet with kindness for the world 

#katyamills

co.nun.drum

keep working and you can work your way into and out of the conundrum we call life 

#katyamills

bodhichitta

they watched true crime

not because they liked suffering

they watched to awaken the compassion

toward all who suffer

#katyamills

undiagnosed ADHD

you was only five so full of questions and promise. could not stay still. got lost in your head in your dreams. setting your mind upon something was next to impossible. they thought it was cute until you got up in grades and got ridiculed. it became painful trying to conform and you dropped out of school eventually. something was wrong with you and I guess it must be you. you found work and got fired for careless mistakes and you were bored anyway so whatever. you found more work and lost more work and you began to believe you were stupid and bad and it was useless to keep trying. someone offered you some magic powder which blasted all the confusion out of your head. you went back again and again to the man. you went on like this in a new magical world of perfect clarity until you finally blew up your bank account and we all know how the story goes. after much trial and tribulation you were forced to comply and admit you didn't know anything about life or how to go about it. when you finally heard the therapist say I think this may be ADHD and yes, don't worry, there's something we can do about it. you broke down crying... thank god... thank god... it wasn't you. it never was. 

#katyamills

felt pretty bad being alive and all

an accident stopped them from running around 

trying to hustle up enough money as they had done their whole life

they listened to all the yearning all the reaching 

inside it was like a waterfall

they got to see what was underneath 

all this ruthless behavior

it felt pretty bad but not as bad as the broken bones

they let the water pound them into oblivion

a lightness overcame them 

no longer a body

a spirit

#katyamills

fifty

they got down on the boy 

it was easy

to be unkind

looking through 

the fear lens

drilled into him 

day after day

like newspaper

pressed with ink 

and what about 

abundance?

give it 50 spins 

around the sun 

he shut down the

press. for good

i can feel

i can help

i can finally live

#katyamills