cathe.dral

solitary horn opens the cathedral

8am. stained glass dove etched

in the dome. weary-eyed bishop

golden marked robes. you can't have 

communion if you ain't a saint and 

who wants to be anyway

#katyamills

bubble gum holy city

as a symbol Jerusalem represents so much to the world and its religions. one would be outright foolish to try and wrap the archetype around some personal or even interpersonal wet dream. corporate thought processes delude you. pursuit of a bubble gum packaging theme. one could lose faith.

Review: Tao Te Ching

Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Basic
Instruxions
Before you
Leave the
Earth

so don't leave home
without it!

i keep a copy on my nightstand
and its all beat to hell!

View all my reviews

agnostic

I am agnostic because though I believe in gods, all is a mystery and I remain questioning. I don't care what you could unearth somewhere in the mid-East. I don't care whose item of clothing or imprint you wave like a flag in front of my face. I don't care how high your temple rises. I don't care how far back your scrolls recount. I don't care how long your flowing robes, nor who testifies upon your word. No one has witnessed the coming of faith into my heart. No one was there in my time of dying,  except god. And my god wears no colors of any world religion, my god is not gang-affiliated. I am agnostic for I am regaled in the mysteries of creation.

Journal # 03.01.15

Sunday. The girl scouts are out! With their buttons and badges and bake sale tables. Cute, cute, cute. I had to buy some cookies. I asked the girls which ones were the best? All except one was pushing 'the lemonades! the lemonades!' Well, lemonade isn't just a drink anymore. It's a godawful shortbread cookie with a high fructose lemon-flavored frosting. I guess little kids have different taste buds. I almost spit mine out, but I didn't want them to see. I had to jay walk to get to the other side of Broadway so I could get that crap out of my mouth. I almost got struck by a car. Not very girl-scoutlike behavior.

Sunday. Church comes in other forms. I like show up to gatherings of friends. We congregate. We sit in a circle and talk about what matters. We talk and listen to one another. Sometimes this is enough. Religion is not necessary in the presence of faith. Faith is a personal matter. I lost it for twenty years, but my faith has been restored. How lucky, to dwell in the sunlight of the spirit. Yes, I have my forays into the darkness. But not by choice anymore. Not by choice.

self-helpless was i

I saw you before you were born. The interview went well. You were optimistic towards the opportunity ahead. Although all the suffering baked into this cake was unappealing, wholeness of being beckoned.
Despite western ways to be forced on an eastern soul, despite aggravated assault in the capitalist moshpit, despite countless insipid efforts towards persona redux, and begging martyrs of grave emotional toxicity, you would not resist the call.

You bravely went under the spell of your god, and i watched on edge as they cleared your cache and robbed your memory bank, ritual washing you. Then they dressed you in snow white linens as your affect went flat. Baby powder, and the shaving of head. You will do well in America, they told you. You looked at them blank. Confused, but so willing. 

Tears suddenly welled up my eyes and placed you safely inside one saltwater drop. After you left me, my love, I carefully swept up your off-color locks. With my hands. Tearful, I took up the salt and pepper remnants of my one true love of this life. On my knees now. Sweeping.

Weeping. I held you soft in my hands there, and ritually cursed the insipid god who i believed at that moment, responsible for this.

Our unchained tragedy.
My uprooted life.
Unmoored heart.
Broken.
Again.