soft report

soft reports of hard news 

dripping out the clock radio

feels like a ruse 

spoon tolling the ceramic i

hyperfocus on this art

the sun behind endless clouds 

casts the land in an even light

the will is honest if not proud

inscribing the theft of

my heart

#katyamills

reclamation of rhythms

I was upset. Unbalanced. You’re as moody as I am, she told me, and I’m bipolar. Have you thought about medication? All I wanted was to get out of here, and for a fast and uncomplicated transition. No submerging into my own introversions. No dizzying intoxications. Minimal stress and panic. Once settled I could go back to being unsettled. I tried to cherish the morning. I tried to read a book. I offered to watch over the kids of divorced parents next door. I tried and failed. Someone wanted my heart. To consume it. Jagged rocks ahead in the mist. She told me, you have no control over your life. She’s right. I don’t know how to say no. I drop everything important to me for nothing. Why? I have lost any cadence. I am in a sorry state. And this is why I am heading for the dead center of the city in the north where, inside its industrial rhythms, my own I may reclaim. 

by  #katyamills from [July 14, 1998] journals

un.fashion

fashion or unfashionable it came from you. how you walk how you talk how you write how you sketch how you skate how you run how you teach how you fight how you give how you help how you see how you feel how you heal how you deal. the heist is 4 losers. be you. be real.  #katyamills

sunday am

sunday morning

all the protest

can momentarily rest

as we lie around in jammies

drink in all what is and not

the tea steeped and

hot

#katyamills

frontier made of palms

 the arc of a thousand suns

made of time stamped with light

the arc of tears over cheeks runs

from the sight

one day you fashioned a frontier

made of emphatic palms 

lit up like faces of full moons

which no one dared

cross

#katyamills

arc of a thousand suns

anyone can hustle. identify what is it you want. go after it unceremoniously. you will be pushed around prodded and disbelieved across the arc of a thousand suns. don't let anything or anyone stop you. it won't be pretty or anything like the movies.  #katyamills

February 1

There was a freedom in being chained to the good routine. good meaning helped you align with a purpose, be your best self, and contribute to society in a way that society could benefit by your brief existence on earth.   #katyamills