un

coffee and water
cold nose of a cat a couple
 jumping jacks
 ina lamp lit room
old oak desk
i have had for a quarter
century this silence
amid brief blasts
of furnace

chess

not even nabokov by the light of a coal miner's headlamp can deter them. the child prodigy. blindfolded. paraded all around europe by those who wish to profit. these tumultuous nights and dreams...i am paraded around the same. i awake to cry my heart out before sinking back reluctantly into sleep. there are a couple pieces left on the board. cat on a windowsill. sentry. the tea candle has burned off. the lover. answers my call, day or night. take me. i am your queen.

teas cut with

black and green teas cut with banana and chocolate and herbs. opened into the air from large glass jars. i called their name over the busy morning store. someone i had not seen in a year. the class would start soon, exercises and sun salutations. i brought my friend. she's early on, expecting her first child.

i will run the river until i strike gold.

after tea, we said goodbye. i pulled out on broadway. i was in such a state of calm i didn't get rattled when a car heading east drove up on the median. a palm tree lost some skin today.

it's easy to lose your balance in the world if you let off the pulse.

isolate 4

our huddled loneliness of years past
income fixed
far below the surface
of want

we had one another
and even then

 love moved
like science after death
    synchronous
exact
we were for us what no one
knew or could
 see

electricity of being caught
living this way
   otherwise isolate
  left 4 lost

then came masquerading in wax
taxing the spirit fallen
 away

 the heart of ink we smudged
 tore in diverse ways
apart

     barbed wire knifed
 squeezed like cash
touched to fire

pinned on the arm
to fade

off a drag

tired of being picked on
he ducked out of second period
and never came back

it was quiet you could hear
the birds and squirrels
chasing round
an old man ona bench on
a hillside road off the main
drag
gave the boy an orange
they dropped peelings
like flower petals
on the ground around

happy god crossed our paths

the boy
smiled and thanked him
for the orange

bumped it off his
elbows
then offered his
blade for the cutting

what the sun was up to

the sun was up and stretching its light across the sky and land. there was a concert on the radio, the vienna philharmonic. i spent the day kicking around the house, my papers and books everywhere. i wrote a couple of cards out by hand and started but could not finish them. i had pale pink paper and ink the color of an oak barrel. it's not that i don't have much to say. a winter morning. the sun acts cool. the cats are nosing behind fabric to stay warm. every few hours i stand at the stove preparing coffee or tea. i am hunting around for action in the story. the sun is looking through my window. writing requires patience and every word counts.

January 1, 2020

Reminiscing on the year past, I see how I had a great adventure and achieved a lot. After publishing a book at the tail end of 2018, I took a couple months and focused on youtube readings. Then I started working on a new project, a novella, based on a piece I wrote in my twenties, and got into the groove of an early morning writing ritual before work. Usually awake by 5am to write until 7am. I published a poem or brief prose piece daily on my website. I got promoted to supervisor at the nonprofit where I have been working for 6 years now. In management for the first time in my life. I kept a therapy caseload. I was told by many clients how I made a difference in their lives. I volunteered all year at the GHC clinic doing therapy with couples and kids. Two thousand hours towards obtaining my psychotherapy license. I see clearly how my biggest obstacle is myself! I sometimes fall off into a negative frame of mind particulary when stressed or fearful, or triggered by some past trauma. I am working towards bouncing back quicker from these setbacks and maintaining my optimism, which I believe is the gold standard for success in this world! I hope to continue to strengthen my relationships, give more to my community, and persevere with my creative projects alongside my professional life and career. I hope to read more books this year! I hope to complete this novella and stay close to the communities I have come to love in Sacramento. I wish you all the best in 2020! May you believe in yourself and, god willing, press on!  - Katya