Monday, 10 August 2015


When i put forth the greatest of effort 
and try

then left all forlorn
with my    y-y-y-why?
when my eyes
see your eyes
and the eye lashes back

honesty says
look away now
love, look away
how I feel all alone
and your loneliness

i wish for your love
though there’s nothing to do

i hate all my wishing
i hate all my hating
hate all my feelings
this way and that

hating you
hating me

and then
get quiet
all turn
to stone

then come dark clouds
fifty thousand dark shades
the long and dark nights
the endless dark days

my ears start to bleed
my sight starts to fail
in exchange for choice words
my Latin, your Greek

choice merciless words
me to you to me speak

the storm in my head wants what happened, unreal
the turning over, my hands, what got stolen, not to steal

i stole from you 
steal from me

away from us

the wall between rooms
made of pa·pier-mâ·ché some

I would pull all apart! all the glue and the pulp
and i know you would, too! i swear this is

i will send out my linens now
white flags on the line
if only to know you 
were part, my design

i will unshape the monsters, tie them with twine
with hair if i have to, to keep unrefined
all the hatred between us
the base, solid kind

above which we once drew our cottons, with care
before they got soaked in our red sea and glare

in the midnight dead sky
freshly fallen
lost love

instead i am left to wonder what was
with this broken heart, because and because

surrounded by white flags
and my
why why
  why whys

the tears
the wood floor
now dries

soon to burn
in the hearth of my heart
down below

knowing exactly
what i never wanted
to know