years ago lives in there

    

poetry © performance
by Katya Mills


Would i die
for you? - no -
but i die
a little
each day

with a wisp the
shared memory takes
me away

we got so heated
back then
could you believe?
cache of tiny daggers held
up a sleeve

caustic the words
blasted by breath
enamel of teeth
falls to its death

so acrid like two
bombadier beetles
corrosively threading
the eyes of the
needles

you tossed my heart
out the window
i pressed my palms to
glass

how could
the one
i love?

i hate you
back - see? -

the word play
turned to fight
constriction drew tight
dark compressed
the light

oh how we got evicted!
in the middle
of the night!

cheap threaded walmart sheets
cover my eyes as i hide
from the lies

praying for love and
hope to die
why?

because i gave up
on us - too -
it was not only you i
was wrong i
failed to respond
to a grave misunderstanding with
the kinda - faith -
love inspires so
then what
was?

if not love in my heart
for you was it me? was i loving
me in love with you
loving me?

wow
that hurts
to be humbled
like that...

then up out of hiding
all apologies and no
denying

ripped clothes and blood
- desecrated -
buried
in the mud

you would never let me forget
then and now the regret
changes the color of my eye
to a deeper greenish-blue
the again waters
down

years ago lives in there
fears and trouble too
and the craziest thing
is

i still miss
you