Tuesday, 8 December 2009

overflowing



when the terra strikes no memory in ya soul.... the part of you thats fearful begins to grow old. you feel it now and then in times you feel troubled. you go on tryin not to panic cause you see fear and smile. sometimes its been a long while. and you know the game he wants you to play, like to go to the motel under platonic circumstance (hey, well watch tv...maybe some intimacy). when really as you get down on soft bed with hard driven rules, in time he brings out romance (its the only way he could ever have a chance) and watches you careful first and the picture that carries across your eyes then flashes of skin flashes of skies, informercials waiting long after sun sets and dies. as he pins you to the bed, becomes clear; he lied! he lieshe lieshe -- lies!

the only weapon you brandish -- your eyes. lemon bands light up the aquatone two tone cornea surrounded by milk ocean. the pupil holds the ground while the retina usurps the crown. glaucoma cheers from around the way, stretching out the moment. the drama, the ocular scene. see it with your eyes like all the other guys, the wannabe suckers, casting fishing poles and wearing dockers. Red lightning strikes across the milky way, branches out effortlessly to either side of center. branching round the pupil like its gonna strike, serpent tongue forked describes it all right. truth is its a living reef more like, in a coral colored bay with a gloss covering over like a a membrane sea spray. with the spotlight dark come swimming below the surface, to scan the horizon vertically, hyper vigilance you see. you catch him cold with lady rays, shooting amethyst light in a delicate way.

arterial de venous armed with misdemeanors. then the coronary comes with its felony. crime of passion? crime against humanity? when the attack hit his heart, his wife lost sanity. waiting in the cool light hospital corridors, waiting for hours. biting her nails for the first time in years. not even trying anymore to hold back the tears. she was with him for years and years. suddenly no knowing if hell make it one more day, what more can you say.

he should not have cheated, and done them both wrong. she knows now the truth, and its so very long. stretching back a whole ten years, when cellulits made appearance. she remembers the moment. modeling new bathing suit in the heirloom looking glass. he was right behind her, making motion toward her ass. she did the playful move they knew from beginning to end. right down to knee bend. he stopped sudden this time, stood upright and paused. she turned and asked what? he could not deliver it. just told her nothing, dont worry its fine. she doubted him. demanded. tell me please! she could hardly stand it.

such was the entrance of cellulitis, that blackened their relations like detritus. within a year he was online with craigslist. searching for young girls with resurgence of lust. some nights stayed up so late the eyes began to crust. looking at pics and writing statistics, trying so hard not to grab his own prick. usually he would have to, though, after midnight girls in stereo in the back of his mind. scanning forward... then rewind. stop to study. get all giddy. then hes dizzy, spinning into early am. whispering to himself with every rejected email...damn...damn. then finally one landed, when he perfected his art. anyone can do it. you just have to start. the time you invest does all the rest. you compose yourself differently. you see whoyouwishyouwere more clearly. you steadily work it out of you, without clearly lying. girls on the other end of the line - well, maybe one somewhere starts sighing. by the end of the night she will be crying.

she could imagine all this a decade later, his wife betrayed and many moons past laid. seeing his grinning face in her memory. how happy he was! and she felt happy too. yet the bedroom she had repainted in a dark dark blue. her lingerie she set afire once she learned to vent the flue. chalked it up to end of youth, through & through. his persuasions veered offtrack. she had no clue. yet her intuition chose for her the dark dark blue. why she now knew. hands on either side of her head, pressing in wishing, to forget or forgive, drop all the way back from the whole affair to innocent kissing. she screamed every time she thought he was better off dead. she pulled out from her head length of hair -- she knew she was a monster. he created her. a big scare. her insides went from soft to hardware. towards ordinary strangers she stared. then glared. temper suddenly took on quality flare.

i felt her energy right then and there. scalded by him was i, the last girl he would lose himself over. see ya later, por favor. and i was drawn to see her, meet her. my eyes had set on him. my eyes my only weapon. he tried to avoid them, tried to keep distance. all the time i infused them with all he made me feel...so he could feel them too. a dose of his own medicine. only doorway in. after ducking and dodging while i struggled, ten minutes or more i am sure, he looked in my eyes, i showed him the way of his sin. seconds later as he got the upper hand, the attack hit him hard. on the floor was where he land. over him did i stand. foot over his throat. hand on my coat. stood there hyperventilating for a minute. watching him clutch his heart. hating him like no other. then out the door i dart.

then beside her, his wife, in the hospital pacing. touching her arm and gesturing. she stopped and dropped her head, gave in finally. we visited his deathbed. she clutched my arm. i turned gently with her and turned her to me. its gonna be okay. her face just registered alarm. listen, he cant do no wrong no more. to you, to me, thats what im here for. to tell you aint none of it your fault.

she could hardly bear it. the earth the salt. the funeral. the home. the way his family spoke to her: in monotone. so i bore it with her. i came to get her, take her out her element. warmth and kindness i gave to her. then finally one day she looked to me. looked me in the eye. she felt the amethyst rays her way. she smiled. i looked in her eyes, too. i smiled. yes, i smiled in the warm sunshine depths of her knowing...

emerald bays, emerald pools
overflowing