Sunday, 17 May 2009

call the eyes, and raise you a lash

i wake in the certainty of another predawn sabbath... my heart aligned with the philly from the far post. i wake in the certainty of alexandra! all i am is another fresh young urban American girl doing damage in the midst of global warming. dont even know i am disturbing sometimes. cannot hold myself back. would not. upsetting the closet cases who have shuttered themselves safely away from the world. poor cloistered animals! apparently i hurricane their world. just walking through it with my gang and my attitude sometimes. wild. i guess i scare them. In the calm of my eye, their quivering lips show fangs and drop curses around my pretty little head. i fall back in my diva blues and my hands fall naturally to my hips in support of my decidedly colorful way of giving myself to the world (what i always presume to be harmless and requisite). but i am a sensitive girl and the cold chill of air stirs up all my little feelings. and my heart she gotta pause to feel her way through this whats left of the patriarchy asserting itself in America. makes me self righteous, which i cannot do nothing with. so i let that one go into my posture maybe a little, but thats the extent of it. then after pause-- i get sad, just sad to be misunderstood again. cause i mean no harm. like you i wake in the simple certainty of self, to bless the world today and give her my all! not to get in the way.... yet i get in the way anyway! just walking in my hood and here comes some drunken beard swoopin in so close i can smell salt and beer and the entirety of alpha male ass. what inspired his sharing of intimacies? all i do is frame the sun in between my soft little hands and claim solaris! i am the philly efforting to shine, is all. i am not the kind of girl to roll my tanktop up between my fingers and go convertible just to summon sex appeal and then leave you all craving, no! i am not intentionally cruel. i know when my blonde sheen is overexposed and become painful to your eyes. i know my place in this tired moment in time. the old boys club still has us kneeling with our wrists bolled over thinking have mercy. there is only so much freedom there. freedom to be the fair and vulnerable. i can present pretty nice, let my highlights shock them some. only to stand out a little! to make it a little less tired, a little more worth checking out! by no means am i rooted in bleach blazing around town in my wide and open eyes. i am too lost for that, vulnerable with heartache and anti-competitive anti-trust aura in my era. and i will defend myself. and i have captured the hearts of true gentlemen who defend me when i cannot. and i do ascertain and promote the wild nature in us all...i aint nobodys fucking slave! i offer you compassion towards us. we need it bad! we do. keep a stake in the game. when you put your finger under my chin i will be ready for you. ready for you to call my eyes, boy. and i raise you a lash. cause goddamn all we got is this game right now! i need you to please pull out all your charm and gentility to anchor me. then you get my love and loyalty. i walk beside you, through it. then we get to work together to make it real. out of the abstract and into some long remembered unison. like the dead at shoreline sharing women sharing wine. like the philly at preakness. like the rhythm escapes us sometime. got to recalibrate the equilibrium. i will clasp you with painted nails. you will take your steeltoe boot to the earth. declare our love in a rough circle in the dirt and not worry. its okay. just lay your coats down. lay down your arms. stand in the circle. in our divination. touching spirits. feeling it!